I have a short story in the workshop, "Opportunity Knocks" which is a crime/thriller. The main character in the short story, Anna, is a kidnapper. She successfully kidnaps a child from a car crash. I'm trying to develop the detective character that will show up a bit more. This detective is going to get the call to investigate a car crash months after it has happened and I want him to be a bit of a slob so I am thinking: His spotted tie, DRENCHED in gravy from the poutine dishes he ate at his desk while working the phones. Does "drenched" work? He doesn't dip the tie into the gravy or anything, but he wears the same tie everyday, doesn't wash it, and he has the poutine dish every other day for breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on his shift. Poutine is french fries with cheese curds that is smothered in gravy. It's delicious but very messy.... My other thought would be to skip the tie entirely and have drips of gravy dot the collar/lapels of his suit. I want him to give the impression of a slob so that people don't take him seriously and having him wearing cheap suits off the rack that he doesn't take care of is one way I am trying to show that aspect of his personality. His chair creaks as he shifts position and hangs up the phone. He's going to be on the portly side due a steady diet of junk food and lack of exercise. I am trying to show that the chair creaks due to his weight and size. Thoughts? Does what I am going for come through in my description?