I've been jotting down ideas for stories and even going indepth on some favorited ideas. However, in reviewing what i've wrote, i realized that i avoided almost all conversations choosing to says "idle chit chat" or something equivalent. I've never had a grasp on social ques and such in conversation and to this day do not understand much about interacting with people. Curious if theres an option I'm missing or if i should just say "to hell with it!" And write whatever weird selfserving convorsation i feel like and hope its not too much for the reader? I hope this makes sense...
It really depends on if you are writing for yourself or writing with the hope of publication and sales... in the former case you can do what you like, but in the latter if you want a publisher to buy your work, or readers to buy it if you self publish then you need to learn about interacting with people, and how they interact with each other. apart from getting out and doing it your best bet is probably lots of reading to see how other authors in your genre handle it
What i find interesting is making notes after a conversation with a friend or family member or even other people or if a conversation i over hear strikes me i jot it down in a notebook not necessarily to use it but who knows it might come in handy, then when i'm working on a story i get it out and see what could fit or what i could change from my notes sometimes i use whole sentences or a joke i heard or a word to describe something into my story
I do lots of reading as well to see how others do from telling the story to having a conversation and then back to telling the story
Absolutely everything must serve the story. There is no "idle chit chat". It has to mean something to the reader. If it doesn't, it has no place in the story at all. Every word has to tell the reader something.
Reading others' works is definitely a big help. Sometimes I loosely base speech of my characters off of things I hear or conversations I have had in the past. Reading and listening helps a lot when getting the general idea. Sorry for repeating myself but these things have helped me quite a bit and I hope they can help you!
If it really is idle chit chat, skip it - if it's import to showcase character or plot or embellish the scene just dive in. A first draft is your moment to let instincts fly, throw caution to the wind, cause by the time you edit you'll realize what's of value and what isn't. I've scrapped dozens of conversations sometimes keeping only one line. For me dialogue is more about revealing character than anything and it's not absolutely essential but it does give the reader a break from bulky paragraphs. And it allows you to show the characters interacting with each other. A good way of starting a discussion is have something at stake. The first discussion in my novel is the mc having lunch with his ex-partner (they produced movies together) the mc is unsure if the partner is telling him a false story about a child sabotaging his audition as a way of telling him his script is no good or the truth. The scene is about situating the reader with the mc's nerves and projecting his fears onto the dialogue.
Keep in mind that people rarely say exactly what they mean. Usually there's a subtext that makes it more interesting. You might be talking to a friend about a new album your favorite band just released, but under the surface it's really a continuation of a subtle argument where he keeps making slights about the band to try to get you riled and your responses are disguised jabs at his favorite band. 'On the nose' conversations aren't very realistic unless people are strictly exchanging information, and even then subtext makes it way more powerful.
I think the answer is simply and unfortunately, talk more to people. Friends, family, strangers, whatever. Otherwise the conversations will continue to feel like meaningless chitchat. Personally, I've often read a fantasy book and thought to myself: "man, this author spends too much time alone in his chair. That's not how people talk." Also, it helps to be a bit familiar with human psychology. Read about phenomena like projection, innuendo, rhetorical devices, etc. Focus heavily on individual personalities. People talk what people think about.
A Agreed. I can't tell you how many wannabe writers who I've heard say "I hate people, I don't talk to people, I'm afraid of people, etc." My response is always, "how do you think you're going to write about the human condition if you don't engage in it yourself?"
Dialogue is nothing like real conversation. In real conversation the point is to get along and chat merrily. Pass the time of day. In phycological terms, this is called 'stroking.' It usually starts with chit chat and can quickly become lost in such detail that is generally irrelevant to the author. However, there are strict and complex rules, nuances and etiquette which we all fall foul of. Peoples reactions are considered/ignored. Feelings are considered/ignored. This is all done on a moment by moment basis and for the inexperienced individual it is fraught with difficulty. The key with real conversation is you need to deal with it moment by moment and adapt in a real situation. The good news is that as a writer you have control of both sides of the conversation. Or even the three, four, five sides if you want to get that complicated. The other great thing is you are not time limited, you can rewrite dialogue if your MC does not impress the leading lady with his patter etc. Takes as many bites at the cherry as you like! The only loose rules are: Don't bother with chit chat between characters. It creates unnecessary distance between the book and the reader. When it comes to dialogue there needs to be a point to it. Dialogue is your friend. Mess about with it, play with it. Put an experimental bit on here for critique. If someone tells you it is wrong they are most likely trying to help. This is what we are all here for. To help one another. Whatever you do, don't confuse a conversation between two or more characters in a book, for real conversation. They are not the same thing at all.
Unless there's really a need for general conversation (i.e. small talk), omit it. Readers will quickly get bored. But if you MUST include it, remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said. Great minds talk about ideas. Average minds talk about events. Small minds talk about people.
yeah we got a lot of strange minds in the storytelling business, and some of them are the bad kind of strange
Agreed. There are some basic requirements for the job. It's like saying you want to be a professional athlete, but you're too lazy to get off the couch.