OK I got most of it down, two of my character girl (Kaira) and boy(Zake have been fighting for 8 years ( friends turned enemy) basic meaning they don't get a lone and easy get into fights with each other ( in school) then problem started when they where 8 years old. they were hanging out, the Zake still deal with the loss of his mother . the Kaira dealing with her parent divorce they were talking about their problems when Zake tells Kaira how lucky she is to have both parents while Kaira wish she could live with her daddy ( was a big daddies girl at this time) and would give anything for it. Zake takes this the wrong way and gets mad. Kaira starts to cry. Zake get upset more calls her a crybaby and super weak. Kaira get mad throws the Scorer ball in Zak's face saying "I don't want to be friends with you any more" thus the problem begins I want to make the reason kinda stupid but at the same time enough to keep the character made for 8 years and make it hard for them to really bond even when they are forced to work together. This is for a manga/comic script I'm working on so the kids will be a little smarter then real life but I still want to give the childish atmosphere/tone to it. What do you think? Is it a believable reason for there ages ( form 8 to 16 and slowly fading until age 18) overall advise ? BONUS QUESTION: What things about my character do i need to let the advice know early on and what can i slowly explain?
Were they very good friends before the incident? If not then it's a perfectly good reason for why they started to fight/dislike each other. A mother's death and a divorce is, after all, something which greatly affects children. Regarding your bonus question, it's really your choice. It depends upon what you want the audience to know early, what they have to know for the story to make sense. All I would advice is that you try to avoid info-dumps.
They could also escalate the hatred by doing petty things to each other since their first fight. Cycle of violence and all that.
Although, this plot has a good structure but nonetheless it is unacceptable to the reader.Why don't you make it more reasonable? Like Zake felt lonely and nobody likes him.I really liked the structure of the plot but if it was more reasonable it would be great.
Just my opinion but it this were my story I would compound the original problems by connecting them to one another. For example, Kairas Dad killed Zakes mum in a car accident. She might not have been looking properly and he wasn't concentrating (or something). But the kids don't learn the truth about it until later and it compounds their original squabble and they have no desire to mend the friendship. Or if thats getting too serious you could simply escalate the squabbles with one or the other having a childish opportunity to hurt the other and taking it. For example after their fight Zake informs a teacher that Kaira threw the ball at him, the teacher could give Kaira detention that leads to her missing out on something that was important to her. She then is determined to get back at him ect Just escalating the fighting until they just cant stand each other like that. In reality it doesn't take very much for two people to start disliking one another, and disliking someone can become habitual. Just a thought anyway. Good luck with your story
NO NO NO, Kaira's daddy is an idiot but not a killer, he just a bad father. But the main plot is a foutuen teller try to get Kaira and Zake to fall in love and this lon fude between the two mixed with Kaira's daddy problems ( results in a fear of falling in love) make it a impossible task. it complicated with star cross lovers mixed into it ( i basicly beating up the whole red string of fate trope) Its not the main plot, but it explains why these two don't get along and why the main plot (read above) Yeah i plan to do that, but usually the escalation is due to misinfromation or other kids ( in school) making it happen to see the two fight THey have been friends since birth ( mothers were best freinds) so best freinds but the family problems and thier other best fiend Rossa( who tried to save the friendship) getting badly sick had to move away ( years later died) and thanks for answer the bouns question. i'm trying not to do an info dumb but i wonder to make sure to keep the reader interest and not move to fast
