The title pretty much says it all. I'm writing a scene in a story and find myself coming up sort on a description for a character who cuts loose on some bad guys with a machine gun. The PoV is from that of another character, so the reader is experiencing it not through the eyes of the shooter, but a friend who's protecting them. ^ This is pretty much the weapon being fired, just on full auto.
Hello, I am writing a story. I need to describe an RPG shot. How I can describe the sound, speed, flare and smoke of the rocket propelling very swiftly towards its target? Is there a verb for that? Then he turned around and saw a man with an RPG. He aimed and pulled the trigger and then.... I need to embellish it and make it a bit dramatic. And what about when the rocket hits the car and then the car becomes a ball of fire and is dragged on asphalt and sparks fly all over the place? What verb can I use for that situation? Is drag correct? I mean the car kind of rolls over a couple of times and then sparks and embers fly all over. Imagine some scene out of a Die Hard movie.
I only have the audio book I'm afraid and it's been a while since I listened to it. It's quite near the start though - it describes an RPG attack on a car in the middle of Moscow.
There's no right or wrong with writing. It's you who has this scene in your head, not us. Maybe you should just try to write it before using words of someone else?
Yes you are right but the problem is I'm not a native speaker and I honestly don't know what verbs or phrases to use to describe what is happening to this car:
Sure. The more popular phrase is "shower of sparks," but I suppose fountain could he used, though that would imply a downward pouring or trickling. Then again, showers point down, too. Not sure if RPGs produce sparks. Never fired one myself.
You made me happy! I googled shower of sparks and found this: https://www.motortrend.com/news/remember-nascar-crazy-2020-daytona-500/ With the race almost over, Logano himself got slammed by Ross Chastain after he clipped the apron and lost control violently, knocking out some other cars in the process in a shower of sparks and smoke.
point of note an RPG isnt technically a rocket - people who say it stands for rocket propelled grenade have watched too much holywood. the acronym comes from the Russian Ruchnoi Protivotankovye Granatamyot. Hand held anti tank grenade launcher... the grenade isn't rocket powered per se. an RPG hitting a car is unlikely to explode it in a ball of flame unless it hits the fuel tank spot on* (holywood again), generally you'll get a flash, a billow of grey smoke and a cloud of fragments - it will definitely kill the occupants if it hits the passenger cell. A hit on the front might not since they'll be behind the engine block which the grenade is unlikely to penetrate. *the exception being that there is a variant of rpg made for fighting in built up areas which is full of flammable liquid and has a double charge.. first explosion puts out a cloud of vapour the second ignites it...
Hello everyone, I am writing a story in which I intend to describe an explosion similar to the one in this video: Please go to 02:24:25. Can I use the verb "catapult" for a scene like that? Does this work? He was catapulted in the air by the sheer impact of the explosion as pieces of glass and wood flew all over the place. How can I make it a bit more dramatic?
You can use 'catapulted', but it sounds rather contrived, and makes 'all over the place' sound mundane by contrast. The red is superfluous. How about 'thrown' or 'tossed'? An explosion is an uncomplicated event: it doesn't need elaborate description. I would suggest keeping it simple, direct and short. If you're narrating from the character's POV, the experience is visceral, overwhelming : he doesn't have time for much cogitation and description. You do want to convey an idea of the magnitude, however, so you might say "shards of glass and slivers of wood shot up into the sky" or something, but otherwise, just report his sensations.
Dear all, what is a verb I can use to describe the very fast speed of the rocket or bullet that is fired out of a gun?
My inclination would be for a really direct & robust verb to start. I agree that "thrown" or "tossed" ("with the force of a...") are more suitable. "Catapulted" is a bit complex and mechanical, plus brings to mind some material agent acting as catapult. Once the opening jolt is achieved (startling on account of having little preamble or elaboration), I think you could THEN fill things out with a bit more florid detail (the aftermath is a a natural time to dwell on things more)
Hello, I'm trying to describe the fast movement of an RPG rocket towards its target. I need a verb which means to move very quickly and making a sound in the air. Could you please tell me if this sentence works? A rocket blasted from the launcher whooshing with dizzying speed towards the target as its flare and flash cleaved the darkness. I need to explain that I am not a native speaker and I am experimenting with words right now. I've been told I should always keep it simple and I am aware of that. I recognize the above sentence is too wordy, but I want to make sure I can and combine use those words correctly.
Just remove 'whooshing' from what you already have. No one needs to have this image described in detail. We can all imagine a rocket being fired from a launcher without words.
You mean this is perfectly okay? A rocket blasted from the launcher with dizzying speed towards the target as its flare and flash cleaved the darkness. I have some doubts about the underlined part. As I said, I know it's too much detail. I just want to make sure I understand words and know how to combine them. I actual writing, we keep it much simpler.
Hello, I am writing a story and describing a situation when a rocket hits a car. The car explodes and then rolls over a couple of times. I want to know if "roll over" is the correct verb. Please take a look at this picture: https://i2-prod.birminghammail.co.uk/incoming/article10831537.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/JS81771240.jpg Imagine this car is hit by a rocket and then it is turned upside down and up and down again a couple of times. Like a person who is tossing and turning in bed. Is this sentence okay? The car was hit by a rocket and exploded in a ball of flames. It was tossed in the air and slammed into the ground rolling over a few times before it came to a screeching halt with a fountain of sparks flying all over the place. P.S: I am just experimenting with words. I know actual writing is much simpler.
Well, I think it probably lacks punctuation. Certainly I'd put a comma after 'target'. Again, like I said, we don't need it explaining. A rocket blasted from the launcher with dizzying speed, the target firmly in its sights as its flare cleaved the darkness.
First, I wouldn't write an event like this in passive voice. "A rocket struck. The car... etc." Second: I think it should roll, bounce, then explode in the air and fall down in a heap - no screeching, just a big crunch. (PS The phrase 'all over the place' is lame; it trivializes your big dramatic moment. Never use it, except in the dialogue of an unsophisticated character, so that you can have him emphasize it with vocal inflection and hand gesture.)
What about this? A rocket struck. The car rolled and bounced then exploded in a ball of flames in the air with a fountain of sparks coming down. What is the proper verb for "fountain of sparks"? Is it fly or is it splash? Would you be kind enough to write a sample yourself?
You could say"The car rolled over and over before screeching to a halt in a shower of sparks." Fountain of sparks makes it sound like they're all shooting straight up in the air, which isn't chaotic enough.
