1. Tomi01

    Tomi01 New Member

    Jan 22, 2016
    Likes Received:

    Help with a short story.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Tomi01, Jan 22, 2016.

    Hello everyone.

    I have a small homework to do but writing a story is not strongest point.

    I wrote this one below and would like to keep this story but hopefully someone will be able to do changes to make it more interesting and more mysterious :)

    With your friends you go on a journey to find a mysterious island, but you find something else.

    You found the legendary captain Blackbeard’s ship which contains a lot of treasure as old legends says.

    When you enter into the ship the door suddenly closes behind you.

    Will you be able to find a way to escape or you will stay there forever.

    Thank you for your help!
  2. MichaelP

    MichaelP Banned

    Jan 3, 2014
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    Maybe the protagonist travels to the island with a beautiful woman he's trying to impress. Even though he's deathly afraid of the trip (maybe he's afraid of water or just being on the wide expanse of the ocean), he takes her on this trip and they discover the ship and the treasure. When the door shuts them in, both of them are scared crapless--most of all the protagonist, who's trying his best to be a "tough guy" for the girl.

    As they search for a way out, the girl seems obsessed with the gold and all the materialistic things she can do with it. She begins shoving coins in her pockets and clothing. This kind of puts off the protagonist, who's not quite so materialistic. (Maybe another conflict to play around with in the story: he's been pursuing a life as a "ladies' man," but at the same time he thinks about religion often and feels guilty about ignoring God.) The ship is in a cavern on the island, and the cavern itself is full of water. They can't find any way out, so they decide to break through the ancient and rotted wood of the ship. They successfully break through, but doing so causes more damage than they'd anticipated; the hull cracks, causing water to flood in. The ship begins to sink. To the protagonist's shock and horror, the girl is more worried about the gold than about him. She pushes herself through the hole, kicking the protagonist back to save herself and her gold. She hurts her leg doing this. The protagonist helps her out, but the only way to swim to safety is for her to lose the coins she has. (Maybe she weighs too much with them and he can't help her swim to safety if she's that heavy.) She doesn't want to, but does once she realizes that it's a life or death situation.

    He helps her to safety. Instead of being grateful, the girl is pissed off with him for losing all the gold and her chance at happiness. The story ends with the protagonist disillusioned as vague doubt creeps in about his priorities in life.
    Holden LaPadula likes this.

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