1. roblutter

    roblutter New Member

    Jul 13, 2008
    Likes Received:

    Help with my Synopsis! Please!

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by roblutter, Jul 13, 2008.

    Hi. I have just registered to the site. Hi everyone. I am a graduate filmmaker, I am more of a production man than anything else: but have done some screenwriting courses in my time.

    Basically, a friend has asked me to write a script for a film called captive 3. its follows 2 unscripted, very short youtube films he made last year: they are not good. He wants to make a third to finish the story, but wants it to be an actual individual film with a script and rehearsals etc.

    The film itself is very cheesy, very cliched in its plot points etc but thats sort of the point. Its a 24/bourne style film that is sort of taking the piss, but its not a comedy.

    I am having trouble with the end of the story. At the moment I am just working on the synopsis... help.... suggestions thanks....

    Previously... (this stuff wasnt created by me, but the characters are what my mate has asked me to work with and i have to use them in the third story)

    1st A man is being interrogated by some men in an empty office block.
    The translator is is useless and is shot, but escapes the building.

    2nd The captive is put into a car by the men, who are panicked because of the escaped translator who they now fear is undercover. the captive wont tell them anything, altho we dont know what it is they want to know yet.
    the captive breaks from his bonds, and dives from the car window (ridiculous i know). The 2 men in the car, one the boss, one his henchman, run to the side of the motorway, but the captive is gone. They are angry.

    NOW: new story.

    The captive is chased through rural scenes and then into motorway scenery by the henchman. the boss drives after them by car. captive and henchman fight until henchman is wounded. he tells them they will go after his family.
    the captive flees in shock. the boss turns up, he makes a call to a character not revealed who tells him to deal with the man. the boss shoots the henchman.


    the transolator removes body armour from beneath his jacket. he is a cop. making his way across city scenery he discovers the body of the henchman. he retraces the footsteps of the scene and goes after the captive.

    the captive enters a dark street and stumbles into a phone box. he makes a call to what is his wife and tells her to get out of her apartment etc. on the other end the mysterious overlord figure speaks. they have her captive. the captive slams down the phone in rage.

    there is a voice behind him telling him to step from the phone box. its the cop. there is a tension scene where the captive tries to calm the man down and explains the situation and that he is on the good side etc. they run towards the city (london) to her apartment.

    in the aprtment, the wifes, the wife is bound and gagged. there is a scene where the overlord is revealed and sort of a minor torture/threatening scene and a bit of exposition about who he is and what he wants from the captive. the apartment is at the top of a skyscraper overlooking the city.

    far below the boss is driving frantically towards the overlord location. he arrives at a back entrance and makes his way through kitchens and into a lift.


    ...... ok so ........ i have the cop and the captive together.... and the overlord using the wife as bait and his boss on the way. I know that i want to, perhaps (unless better suggestions), end up on the roof of the building. the captive and the girl should be alive at the end. I need some events that are not just a cheesy SHOOTOUT that help to go from this point to the ending. obviously, there will be a fight between the overlord and the captive. any ideas about action, stories behind the characters, locations etc.... just need this ending.... im struggling to avoid making a cheesy shootout and then fight.

  2. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    May 19, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Massachusetts, USA
    That's a pretty significant "missing piece", don't you think?

    I'd suggest writing out the story. Is there something about the characters and their conflicts that suggests the resolution to you?

    What about other crime or action films you have seen? Do any of them stand out to you. To me, the ending to Dirty Harry, although it's a shootout, put a perfect finishing brush stroke on both of the principal characters. Callahan tossing his badge into the water left him far more human than if that had been omitted.

    Always go for humanity.
  3. roblutter

    roblutter New Member

    Jul 13, 2008
    Likes Received:
    yep all this has been done - i mean im pretty much only posting on here so i get a load of different ideas - the first sort of things that come into peoples heads - obviously the script has already addressed things like character development and apotheosis's etc. im literally asking for help on the physical and literal development.

    the film ends on a supernatural twist between the wife and the captive who is dead. the rest have died. he had to decided between being free from his pursuers or saving those cared about to allow them to be free.

    but whatever. i just figured it out earlier anywhere - some stuff in the corridor and a fight scene inside a lift. thanks tho.

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