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  1. wishing

    wishing New Member

    Apr 12, 2016
    Likes Received:


    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by wishing, Apr 14, 2016.

    I want to feel your lips against mine. I want to feel the softness of your touch on my skin. I want to sigh into your ear every time I feel your hands wander just a little too far down. I want you to pick me up and spin me around and call me your favorite girl and tell me you love me. I want you to want me as bad as I want you. I want to hear you call my name from down the street and race to catch up to me. I want you to be out of breath and panting but still kiss me as passionately and as fiercely as you can as if you suspected it was the last time we were ever going to see each other. I want you know how much I need you in my life and I want you to know that you control every part of me.

    I know that you won’t ever take advantage of me or use me, instead make me a better me and help me grow as a person. I want you know that everything I do, every breath I take, every time my heart beats, every smile and laugh, every tear, everything… it’s all for you. You never leave my mind and you never will. I think I love you and that scares me. I get hurt a lot sure, but love is my only weakness; you’re my only weakness. When it comes to you, you make me feel like I’m soaring high above everything else in the clouds and I won’t ever fall. But you can also make me feel like I’m crashing into a burning pit a lava with giant spikes protruding from the bottom but not being able to die. Just forced to suffer for eternity.

    You evoke all the emotions from the content side of the spectrum to the suicidal side in me. You make me feel everything I don’t want to and everything I do want to and even emotions I didn’t know I had. If this is what being in love is like then I don’t ever want it to stop because to feel is to be human. And to be human is to be alive. And to be alive is to breathe air. And to breathe air is to want you next to me and tell me you love me like I love you.

    But I know you can’t. Not yet. You’re still in love with her, but that’s okay. I will always wait for you. Because to be alive is to be with you and to be with you is to be alive.
  2. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Dark, is it not? Contributor

    Aug 8, 2015
    Likes Received:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    Not to knock your writing, because it is done well. Just a thought though. I think this belongs in the workshop, but you have to follow the forum guidelines for posting in the workshop. That is if you are looking to get this critiqued.

    On the other hand this is a poem, if I am to be honest due to way it is written. IDK, Either way, it does belong in the workshop. I am sure you got the welcome wagon post that will tell you what you need to do to post there. :D
    Feo Takahari likes this.
  3. matwoolf

    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

    Mar 21, 2012
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    Brighton Heights
    It's very nice, though I did picture myself all out of breathe and heaving, and panting and sweating and still kissing with all that horrible stubble, and wheezing, and it didn't work.
  4. doggiedude

    doggiedude Contributing Member Contributor

    Feb 15, 2016
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    Florida, USA, Earth, The Sol System
    Poetry? Nah... Not in the traditional sense anyway.
    I thought it was wonderful. A love letter that showed true emotion.
    The lava bit toward the end was sort of ... meh. But the rest was fabulous.

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