Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Duchess-Yukine-Suoh, Jan 27, 2014.
I'm sorry Duchess, that's horrible. I don't think this has anything to do with you, Duchess and it is probably just a power struggle over a history of bitterness between your parents. Hopefully it doesn't go to court and you can go to the school you wish. I will be praying for you.
If hating Catholics is the only reason he's taking this to court, he's going to lose.
I hope it works out for you and that you can end up going to the school of your choice.
@JJ_Maxx Thank you. It does have something to do with me, he puts down all the time about everything I do. I'm writing a list of reason why I want to go there. He doesn't care about the academics or music or writing program, he just cares that it is catholic.
I can't find the link yet, but I read that there was a 2009 comparison between public and Catholic schools SAT scores and they showed that public school students had an overall average of 496 points on the critical reading portion of the test while Catholic school students scored 533 points on the same portion. Catholic school students outscored their public school counterparts by an average of 23 points.
There's not much chance of a court listening to that. In fact, the judge is more likely to tell both parents to grow up and learn to work together for the good of the children. You're probably old enough that your wishes may be taken into account in deciding the school choice if the courts are dragged into it.
And he doesn't care.
It's not just Catholics, he hates all religion. Even feng shui which isn't really a religion.
Well, as Cogito said, he won't have a leg to stand on, especially if you and your mom are spending money on your education.
Really? :') thanks for the hope.
The courts HATE getting dragged into these squabbles, and they have absolutely no sympathy for parents who use the kids as pawns for fighting the parents' differences.
Indeed, when I went through my divorce, I was told over and over that the court doesn't care what the parents want, the court cares about only what is best for the child. In this case, he would have a rather large burden to prove that not going to a Catholic school is in your best interest, especially with your advanced level of writing.
Catholicism is a mainstream, widely-accepted religion--this isn't like a situation where your mother is exposing you to some sort of dangerous cult. I realize that the uncertainty is frightening and that you want a guarantee and for all this to be over, but if I heard this in casual conversation, my reaction would be an immediate, "Yeah, there's no way he's going to win."
To my dad, it's a dangerous cult. Could you try to explain what a cult is to him?
But thanks though!
Don't worry, Duchess.
Things will be good.
Maybe scary or hard to put up with, but things will be good.
Yeah, I don't think he's going to have much of a shot, unless there are other grounds for getting legal custody. It's too bad you have to go through it though.
Won't let you go to school because you're Catholic? That's as bad as making a kid go to Catholic school if he is Pagan. Disgusting.
I'm sure you will get a say. You should be sure the court knows you don't want your father to have full custody.
I echo the sentiments of those above. Your opinion is the one that counts in the eyes of the law. You might not be an adult yet, but you are old enough that your feelings on the subject will be the courts priority. Your Dad does not have the right to negate the importance you place on attending this school, and his interference will just seem like the desperate act of a bitter man. The courts see this all the time, and will have little sympathy.
Your well being and education is paramount.
@Cogito is 100% right. The only way your father would be able to get custody would be he could prove your mom was an unfit mother, and you would be called to testify. So, your opinion definitely would count. As for your father being able to stop you from going to the school of your choice, and one to which you have won a scholarship, he'd have to come up with a compelling reason directly related to your welfare, and hating Catholics doesn't cut it. Sounds like an empty threat.
Judges don't like getting involved in this sort of thing. There should be something in the custody agreement regarding who makes decisions related to educational issues (among others). It should also address the method of resolution if the parties cannot agree, which would most typically be some sort of mediation. Or it might even provide that the custodial parent has final say.
This is not to say that someone could not still bring the matter to court. But doing so without showing some sort of drastically changed circumstances or valid reason for wanting to change that agreement will not be viewed positively by the judge.
Oh god, that's a horrible story. Sorry to hear you are going through this, Duchess. It must suck, but as the others have pointed out he hasn't got much of a leg to stand on in court.
I feel like I was smacked upside the head with a trout. Sorry to say this, but your Dad is nuts, and he is not going to get anywhere with this. Hopefully you and your mom (or just your mom) manage to make him see this thing rationally. What is he afraid of? That the school will make you religious? Aren't you religious already in the sense that you believe in God? So where's the harm, really. Sounds like he doesn't know you at all if he's going through with this. He wants to do some parenting there, but the way he goes about it is about as sensible as trying to climb a tree assfirst.
All the best, Duchess. I still remember what it was like to be a teenager with divorced parents...
Thanks for the support guys! we are meeting him tonight to "discuss" it, but hopefully all will go well.
Good luck @Duchess-Yukine-Suoh. I know people who aren't Catholic or even religious at all who went to Catholic school to get a quality education, and they did get one. Your dad should want you to get the best education possible.
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