Long story short, a female amputee eventually ends up dating the woman who repairs her prosthetics. I have little experience in "normal" relationships, and even less as to how such a bond could arise between two people out of a circumstance where one is repairing the mechanical limbs of another. I'm a heterosexual male, I have no interest in pursuing a male partner, and I have very little experience with relationships in general, so I'm wondering about relationship dynamics in a lesbian couple, especially where one is reliant on the other to be able to move.
@BayView, @Laurin Kelly here I paged the two experts in this for you. as a Hetero-Male myself, I know next to nothing about this... .
There are so many books, documentaries, and blogs about relationships, gay relationships, and the lives of disabled people, that you could spend an unlimited amount of time learning. 10 books written by people in those communities, rated 4+ stars, would be a good place to start if you are going to try writing about them.
I've never been in a lesbian relationship, but I have been in non-heteronormative relationships and for the most part, behind closed doors, within a margin of error, they were pretty much the same as my standard male on female relationships. Just with different mechanics and meeting the family was far more awkward.
I think this is where you use your imagination, coupled with research about the 'mechanics' if that's what's baffling you. As to what the emotional dynamic would be, just make them into real people who form a bond because they care about each other. You can't go wrong with that. As to what problems they will—or might—face if they come out as a couple ...well, what do you think they would face? Work with that. I doubt if you'll find a blueprint for how this unique sort of situation would work, so you'll probably need to design one!
Don't overthink the "lesbian" part of their relationship. Homosexual people feel and react towards their partner largely the same heterosexual people do: love, trust, support, a firm emotional bond. They might tend towards breaking with heteronormative stereotypes of gender roles, such as which part of the relationship is more dominant, or which carries most of the emotional work. The difference will largely be in how the rest of the world views their relationship and how that impacts them. If you're not familiar with the topic I'd advise you to either avoid it or do a looot of reading on how homosexual, especially lesbian, relationships struggle in a heteronormative society, and how these people would like to be represented and treated. From my own experience, queer people would above all love to live their lives the way they are without judgement and harassment from others. If you don't want to make the book about their struggles as a lesbian pair, consider adjusting your setting (if it isn't already) to one where homosexuality isn't viewed as some kind of divergence from a norm. Also, focus on the dynamic of dependency some more. IMO, that's the real potential for interesting conflict: Maybe your prosthetic technician has a strong helper complex attitude towards your amputee, but at the same time she's feeling loved and taken care of, she would like to remind her partner that she is still and independent person who can care for herself. Maybe the amputee has a reckless streak where she gets herself into dangerous situations trying to prove to herself and her partner that she can be in charge.
Well perhaps being a techy, their sex gets a bit... how do you say...Kinky... Though yeah, just do a bit of research on the subject, and possibly if you can try and talk to people in the sort of relationship you are trying to portray (though be polite). Always a good idea to find someone that has exp. in what you are trying to learn about, and makes it more realistic in your story(ies).
My advice would be right along these lines; I don't write my cute gay male couples any differently relationship-wise than I would a cute hetero couple. In fact, in everything I've written if you took out the explicit sex and physical descriptions of my couples, you could swap the guys out for a man/woman pairing with no discernible disruption of the plot. Hell, it was even suggested to me that if I revamped Under the Knife as a hetero romance it could have had some real commercial legs, but I had no interest in doing that at all. In the words of one of my favorite writers, Linn-Manuel Miranda, "Love is love is love is love is love."
I'm not lesbian, but sure gay people love each other not because they are gay, but because the partner has qualities they found attractive. Or because they are in a similar situation and that creates empathy, compassion. Or perhaps they are different and when together they feel complete. Here I'm afraid you will have to work out in your characters, study them a little so you can create a dynamic between them. Don't overthink too much about them being gay or not, that will distract you. Instant, think the things above and let their relationship grow little by little. I hope this helps. Keep on good work, and have fun.
I've known a few Lesbian couples, and aside from what Jennisej mentioned earlier about less defined roles, they're not really different from the heterosexual couples I've known. So while there may be some consequences from society, I think you can write it like you would any intimate relationship. What might be more of a conflict is the fact that one is a medical provider and the other is a patient, which brings up an entirely different set of ethics. I think that would put pressure on a relationship, particularly if the couple had to choose between a patient/medical relationship and an intimate one.
So here's the problem. Gay guy runs a hairdressers. I hate gays, I hate haircuts, stereotypes are anathemanamaniac to my world vision. And I have no paper nor a computer. On what pebbles should I arrange my homo-erotic bath scene for six central players/ 3 amputees, one house cat?
A couple problems, some of which have been covered above. You're a heterosexual male (so am I), but you're assuming that lesbian relationships would be different from the hetero ones you've been in. Wouldn't it follow that they'd also be different than gay male relationships? Or, other than external discrimination, doesn't it make most sense that a romantic/sexual relationship between two people is probably just that, with some adjustments for plumbing? I think that the power dynamics of one being able to control the other's movement are much more important than the fact that they share the same plumbing, I know there have been days in my life when my S/O at the time would have happily turned off my legs if she could have (or my mouth, more likely).
I’m a lesbian, but I’m not sure exactly what the question is. As a straight man I would say it might be harder to write the female gender than the lesbian sexuality? Personally I find it harder to write an authentic male MC than I do writing a straight female MC.
I suspect that's true because you've sort of been indoctrinated into the straight female concept from the time you were a child, and probably bought into it to some extent before you realized that you weren't going to go down that path. Even then, society placed a value on you being able to masquerade as straight, if for no other reason than to avoid the stigma of being gay. Most of the gay men I know have been in similar situations, learning how to feign heterosexuality. They could probably write straight male characters better than straight female characters. I might even go so far as to say that many male SF writers couldn't write female characters for beans, except to write them as male characters with female bits. (Heinlein, I'm looking at you!) One slight detail I'm curious about: most of the gay women I know would capitalize the L in "lesbian" but then they come from the same older generation that I did. (FWIW, I collaborated with Diana Press back when they were in Baltimore in the 1970s.) Is the capitalization going out of style now?
Yes good point, although I just feel writing about falling in love with a man would be no different from writing about falling in love with a woman. Just without all the extra drama! But I have dated men in the past so that probably accounts for some of it. Hmm, I’ve never written it with a capital letter! I just asked my wife and she said she wouldn’t either. I’m 39 and she’s 32, if that makes any difference.
@Iain autopsy 'Hi @OP, take a seat.' 'Fanks...' 'A couple problems, some of which have been covered above.' 'Ya...' 'You're a heterosexual male (AND so am I).......but you're assuming that lesbian relationships would be different from the hetero ones you've been in.' '@Oh...' 'Wouldn't it follow that they'd also be different than gay male relationships?' '@@Oh...' 'Or, other than external discrimination, doesn't it make most sense that a romantic/sexual relationship between two people is probably just that, with some adjustments for plumbing?' 'Geez..' 'I think that the power dynamics of one being able to control the other's movement are much more important than the fact that they share the same plumbing,... I know there have been days in my life when my S/O at the time would have happily turned off my legs if she could have (or my mouth, more likely).' 'Ew...' '...Or even taken a razorblade to my winkie?' 'Ya..'
I've been reading a lot about lesbianism/homosexuality. It's censored in many societies so I'm not surprised that you don't know much about it. It's mostly an oral history, even because some people burn homosexual books and other people kill homosexuals. With the internet though, the history is a bit more documented. Learning about lesbians/homosexuals can also be as easy as reaching out to local women where you live. Lesbianism is believed to be natural, and so always present and a feature of some women. Heck, some family could be gay. Just don't ask local women explicitly if they are lesbians because some of them will just lie and say "no" for their own protection, depending on where you live. It's something that you'd have to figure out or assume after being friends (and ONLY a friend) with a few women for a while. That might be difficult for some men because they tend to see women as sexual creatures rather than see women as friends or buds.
