Word count: 9,110 So you're about 4 chapters in. I note this fact because imo I think you are trying to portray too much info. in part of a chapter (a few paragraphs), you do not have the luxury to do the dynamics of a complex relationship justice. You would need to tell rather than show - not the best option. Would it be possible for you to go back into the past chapters and hint or show small snippets of their relationship, so that the reader will have some idea of these characters and may be more able to accept a short interaction between the two in the chapter you mention. Have you read Twopence To Cross the Mersey by Helen Forrester The mother in that is completely selfish and the daughter down trodden.
Almost a little scary how many malicious motives you readily could list. Awesome post with great insights.
Mckk - that'd be so annoying! I'm glad you were able to see she didn't mean harm by it and you're able to be friends. Trilby - that's actually a good plan, slipping small bits into later chapters. This actually allows me to cut the beginning a bit, so I can foreshadow about the alt world sooner in. Thanks.
