How can I write this seduction scenario, character development wise?

OK, I'm going to express myself a little more here.

No. It's not. Most of my issue here is the idea of "involuntary celibacy". What does that MEAN? The very idea suggests that people are somehow entitled to sex. They're not. They're just...not. And I simply don't believe that an otherwise sane, normal, non-childhood-abused, non-brain-damaged person will go insane merely because people won't give him or her sex for the asking.

Do we have the concept of "involuntary non-Porsche ownership"? "Involuntary non-NBA-starterness"? "Involuntary non-Senatorness?"

People want things. People don't get everything they want. As soon as you declare that the lack of something optional is going to drive people quite, quite mad, then you start to imply that that thing isn't optional. The very idea of "involuntary celibacy" suggests that people are ENTITLED to sex. It starts to look like it's trying to be a rape defense.

And that's creepy. It's just horribly, horribly creepy.

 

Well I got the term 'involuntary celibacy', from a psychologist, while researching the subject for the story.

I don't have to use the term, if it sounds bad, I can use something else. I am just using the term I was told.

As for the villain being creepy, she is suppose to be, so her self entitlement is part of her wrongdoing. Isn't it okay for the character to be creepy in this case?

 

I looked up "involuntary celibacy" and it's an extremely politicized term. I would recommend against using it without a whole lot of research.

I'm talking about the BOOK being creepy, and not in a good way. I'm talking about a book that would be at serious risk of arguing that rape is justifiable. Not the character arguing that, but the BOOK, the narrator, appearing to argue that.

 

Okay thanks, that's true. The book is against rape, and the villain is the evildoer who is taken down at the end. She is taken down, and justice prevails. For the first half of the story though, she wins and gets away with her crimes, until the last half, when things turn around and justice begins to take a turn.

However, what can I do to ensure to the reader, that the story does not condone her actions, and that actions are villainous and suppose to be seen as such, and not justified? Is there anything I can do to make it clearer in that regard?

 

I'm pretty sure this character will be perceived as villainous. The funny thing about the antagonist role is it makes it easier, even involuntarily, to separate yourself from the character. They're just "the bad guy", nobody cares about them. I would argue it's more important to make sure the audience does feel the sympathetic side, than ensure they feel the antagonistic one. But I do think you need more going on with this character's motivations. Otherwise it's hard to believe. If she had at least a little bit of trouble before these issues arised then it would feel more understandable, as well as humanizing her more. Maybe she was dirt poor, that can produce some very negative emotion,s especially if she was, say bullied by richer kids. Nothing crazy just your standard bullying, very common. But combined with this it would sound less crazy for her to be pushed.

 

But if the "theme" of the book is "involuntary celibacy", and you say that your character's insanity is "because" of that state, then it feels like the book is in favor of the idea that a lack of sex will turn people into murderous psychopaths.

 

Yeah I know what you mean. My intention is to have a villain's crimes make sense, but for the reader not to support them,. It's a theme, but the reader is suppose to be against the theme.

I was planning on writing it so that she was bullied by rich kids too, or at least some kind of bullying kids to push her. I planned on leaving a good portion of her background the reader's imagination though, since she is suppose to be a mystery villain, told by from the MC's point of view mostly, when he investigates the crimes.

So if a police criminal psychologist character is explaining what is going on with this mysterious villain, should he/she (I have decided if the psychologist is a man or woman yet) say things about her, like she was probably bullied while growing up, in order to explain her better, and the reader can accept those hypotheses, coming from another source?

Is their anything I can do though to make it more clearer for the reader to be against the theme, without actually spelling it out?

 

Give a general indication there's been other troubling things for her. Vague statements. It's up to you. Something like "probably bullied" is good. Or "demanding parents" or "negligent parents" they're pretty vague. If you want to be more vague "bad parents" or "negative relationship with peers".

 

To clarify, you don't need a reason. But you've GIVEN a reason, a reason that makes no sense. And adding a little bullying doesn't make it make sense.

If you're going to give a reason, you have taken on the burden of making it make sense. And so far that's not happening.

Maybe you're not distinguishing between the reason and the trigger.

Imagine that a child, let's say Joe, is severely abused by their parents, and part of that abuse is the parent inciting their dogs to attack the child.

Imagine that thirty years later, someone holds out their little toy poodle to now-grown Joe, saying, "Would you like to pet him?"

Imagine that Joe attacks and murders the poodle and the poodle's owner.

Joe did not become a murderer because he was offered the opportunity to pet a poodle. Being offered the opportunity to pet a poodle will not turn someone into a murderer, any more than not getting sex on demand will turn someone into a murderer.

The reason that Joe becomes a murderer is his childhood experience--and probably a variety of other things about Joe. The trigger that led to the murder was the poodle.

The trigger for your character's murders is the experience of being rejected. The reason is something else. Because I simply don't accept the idea that an otherwise sane person will become a murderer due to not getting sex on demand, any more than I accept the idea that an otherwise sane person will become a murderer due to being faced with a poodle.

Your reason can be a mystery. But so far you're not making it a mystery; you're doing the equivalent of making the poodle the reason.

 

Oh okay, I see. Yes perhaps I should leave the reason and a mystery and just have the trigger then.