So this character the idea is that she starts out as the Big Bad's right hand and she is in the beginning very evil and unsympathetic. However she's supposed to fall in love with the MC whose the hero. She starts out cold and unkind but she's got some layers she's got one line she will not cross because she was the victim of human trafficking (she has a very sad and gut wrenching backstory) and she became a addict because of that sobriety and staying clean mean everything to her. So for that reason she will torture someone she'll do everything bad under the sun but the one line she will not cross is she will not use drugs or someones addiction against them. She's also got a strict no money no job policy like she will only kill if she's paid and even then her rules are non negotiable, like no parents, no children, no pregnant women, no couples, no civilians, she is willing to kill cops and soldiers as it would in her opinion be more of a fair "hunt" the thing about her is she's a contract killer but she is from a family of cops. That's part of what haunts her deep down she was raised with morals but she to survive had to completely abandon everything she believed in and she feels she cannot ever go home. She became an assassin when the Big Bad found her the big bad considers himself a "therapist" and he found her after she methodically murdered her captors he was impressed she killed so many people so efficiently and so he took her under his wing but also because he "helps" broken people. In the Big Bad's mind he helps people overcome trauma to by helping them remake themselves into who they truly are. She has a soldier mentality she lives by routine and is very self disciplined however she's also very dependent on her "routine" like it's hard to describe the best way to put it is she's always "working" and exercising she just always is busy never and I mean never lets herself rest and that's something that plays into her character like she literally cannot stop or deviate because it will stress her out to stray from her "routine". She also has extreme anxiety when it comes to her past like she will not go near her home area and if she sees someone she knows on a job like a old friend or cousin whose just walking down the side walk she will bail on the job and have a full blown panic attack. My only problem is I don't know how to build a bridge for her to fall for the main character because the idea is that he's the first person to see her breakdown and it happens just because he disrupts her routine and he sees a very vulnerable side to her which shocks him. I just don't know how to make her go from cold blooded killer to a loving wife and mother to the MC because she is going to have to go through a major change. Also should her fears of her family seeing her and what she's become be justified? Because she thinks they better off remembering her as innocent girl who wanted to be a cop like her father and she fears them seeing what she's become. The fact she's proud of her skill also adds to her shame but she always justifies it by stating she warns them a weak in advance she views it as a small mercy by giving her victims a week to make peace.
The girl is damaged goods. The MC isn't going to win any humanitarian awards either, despite his psychotherapeutic qualities. This doesn't mean the two cannot fall in love. Honestly, I don't think there's a gap to bridge. These two characters sound perfect for each other just the way they are. I have learned through meditation that mental anguish is caused by attentiveness to negative thoughts. The MC, if he is a mental guru, can help his lover to refocus her attentiveness, to let go of the guilt, and to find peace and a sense of purpose, despite being a murderous assassin. No redemption or explanation required. Write your story.
I find myself thinking of Faith and the Mayor in Buffy. I don't exactly know why--my brain is protesting, "No, that is different and that is different and that is different and..." But have you seen Buffy?
Yes and i feel I have given the wrong impression on the characters the Big Bad that mentored her and the.MC are different characters the MC has more in common with Dean Winchester from Supernatural truth be told. But the woman is not in a relationship with the mentor. However that is a good comparison Faith and the Mayor.
Actually the MC is not the the one who mentored her he's actually the archenemy of her mentor. They Big Bad and the MC are like Joe Carroll and Ryan Hardy in The Following I was in a hurry and I didnt put enough information down.
Could you provide perhaps an example of what you had in mind. A rough list of events of sort perhaps, just so I can see where you're trying to head.
I can see a lot reasons why this character is giving you trouble. You've stuffed your character so full of backstory and traits that you really have left no room for her to redeem herself. Sure she doesn't kill certain people in cold blood, but she still kills in cold blood. Most people who are doing bad things, change their lives when they hit a rock bottom. Well, she kind of has no rock bottom. Here's the question you should be asking. What keeps this character in touch with her humanity? You've listed all these traits, but they're very superficial and come off as almost a desperate attempt to make her be redeemable, but I can promise, they won't work. Once you find out what keeps this character in touch with her humanity, you can build off of that in creating something very human and very redeemable. It would be the part of her that the protagonist is able to touch and build that connection.
Kallisto has hit on a key point. Your MC is so closed off and tightly wrapped at this point a sudden Hollywood 'their eyes met' love story isn't viable. You are going to have to make her more believable, and less cliche-ridden.
Okay, so I think you've contradicted yourself but in a good way that can help you. You say you character have no morals but the fact that she won't kill parents, or kids, etc, means that she does. A soldier is trained to kill the enemy, whoever it is, and she clearly won't do it. That's good because that'll make her more compelling and more relatable. So what you can do is make her appear like she's this cold blooded killer when she's not. Give her good reasons, though. Why she's doing that? Does it help her to overcome her past in a way? I think this character can be the loving person you want, but with a big fat shell that doesn't allow people in. Hurt people always do that. So give indications that she's human under all that, but be subtle. Let her actions speak for what's going on really. And maybe have those MC connected somehow to her past, or that they remind her of her past somehow, so she can interact with them easily and the change doesn't seem so abruptly.
I disagree. Firstly, soldiers are not trained to kill whomever; killing is not their foremost trade, but rather the unified function of fire, maneuver and advance. Every sane person, no matter how violent, has a line they won't cross. Serial killers have criteria for their victims, often highly developed on complex equations. Ted Bundy, for example, was an expert volunteer on suicide hotlines who saved scores of people. He was known to his co-workers as a highly reliable babysitter. The key is empathy. Someone who refuses to kill someone, such as parents, with whom they have a shared history, or children, is not someone with a moral compass. It is simply someone who has limits. Outside those limits they have no empathy for their victims. What is described as the MC is no different than your run-of-the-mill mass shooter once you get past the Mary Sue cosmetics and sexual undertones. Apply the Final Solution test: would this person do well in an SS Einsatzgruppe? The MC as described would. Taking a life through violence, even in a good cause or for a good reason, is a life-changing event. No one walks away from it unchanged.
Okay, I know every sane person has lines and all that but what he asked and what I answered is how to make this supposedly trained killer going from that to a loving wife and mother. That's a hard transition, it takes time, and I don't think that if the character it is all cold-blooded can change that easily. You have to take into account what you want to achieve and the middle. And also I'm probably the last person about knowledge about soldiers and armies, but what I do know is that a soldier must be prepared to kill, at least one that is sent to wars, or fronts or whatever. He or she must do whatever their superiors told them to do, that's what they are soldiers. They obey orders. If they told to kill someone I don't think they're going to ask if they're parents or civilians. And also the empathy you're talking about I call it morals. It doesn't have to be a stand up person to have morals, just, like you said, it needs limits. Why killing a soldier is different from a civilian for her? Or a mother? Because of her beliefs, standards, whatever you want to call them.
There is very little if any giving of orders to kill in war. And when you do, it tends to be under the adrenaline rush of a firefight, which draws upon training and instinct, not conscious thought. Trust me, your example of soldiers is wildly inappropriate. The difference is sizable. To kill in combat it largely without thought, at a distance, and as part of a much larger, chaotic whole. It is not unusual for a veteran to not recall a specific kill in a firefight until years afterwards. Soldiers do not do violence because of orders or training; they do so because they are part of a group whose bond is stronger than most relationships, and their actions are essential to the safety of the group. In a combat zone, your squad and platoon are your world an universe. The MC as described is an assassin, someone who kills in cold blood, without pressure, without a threat to herself. A murderer. She also tortures. Keep in mind that combat infantry generally look down on snipers as cowards and freaks because they kill calmly at a distance. I have heard them called murderers by guys who have far more confirmed kills under their belt. It is a little better now than it was during the Vietnam era, but that is one reason why the USA has never placed great emphasis upon sniper programs in peacetime. The MC is a special kind of sick. Strip away the Mary Sue background and the sexual undertones and you have a someone like the Orlando shooter, or the kid that shot up Virginia Tech.
it may be cliche, but blackmail works in some situations, your character finds herself between a rock and a hard place. she gets a task to kill a child, and is not given a choice in the matter. Perhaps the family she left behind is being threatened, is her father still alive? If so can he be put in harms way? If not alive was it recent enough, to have your character show signs of regret and remorse. Did she have a final talk with her dad, or were things left unsaid? Was there a warning, or a puzzle left to be solved? Does Big Bad have her best interest at heart, or using her? Does he have a secret back history with her family? How does he tie in why would he be helping her beyond simple selfish reasons. What is in it for him? The Caveat Emptor of Carpe Diem. Who gives her the jobs, how are they selected for her, is there an end goal behind the jobs she is being given? What is being protected, what are the ideologies behind this? no action is undertaken unless it benefits an end user somewhere at sometime. Cui bono Have there been mistake made, needing to be corrected, or would have your character rethink her relationship. Was someone close to her killed by accident? a twist Discovery of a much darker plot, or underlying purpose that no longer aligns with certain morals and ethics. Could her organization be involved with corrupt law enforcement trafficking human slaves? Maybe a busy body investigator rescued a child who is now under protective custody, and will testify pointing fingers at high powered and highly respected individuals in the community. give her a reason to go from cold blooded killer to protector...
Okay so reading this it gives me some questions: What kind of wife do you picture her being, one happily married, or one who will still remain troubled and forever fighting her darker issues? Like are you going for a "happily ever after," or "but then there she will be on the winding road still working stuff out." OK also the other thing, is you can A) tone her down somewhat, so that her positive traits are a little more visible. You can to do this, think instead of who she is, think of who she would be if you want her to get to this place and write from that stance. B) don't change her, keep her as more or less a killer mentality. I recently watched the tv show Hannibal, which i know he represents someone who pretty much is even darker. But what i think makes the show and movies/ books interesting is that you cannot really classify what hannibal is, whether he is a psychopath or if he is capable of some level of feeling. And he shows signs for feelings for Clarice in movies, and another person in tv show, which contradict him being a psychopath, which everything else he does would make him likely that. Anyway you can embrace the ambiguiity of who she is. C) Just keep it at the level she is and see where she goes in her arc? The biggest problem with this approach is when characters go ways that are not good on the whole for the rest of the story. The other thing is how does her character affect the other characters, can you add a lot of conflict there through what the others are wanting? I am pretty new to writing, so sorry if I am not super helpful. Good luck.
The MC and the assign may use each other for comfort from time to time. This could work into a routine that simulates normalcy, and from there to really care for one another. To you point about not hitting certain targets may cost her. She could lose her reputation and be out of work. I am writing a piece at the present with a female assassin, and she notes, "assigns have to make a living just like anybody else."
