I'm writing in english even though it's not my first language which can often result in some awkward sentences amongst other things. There's this sentence in this scene in which the main character is talking about how he doesn't believe in faith or in destiny, but that he believes in luck. (He's like that because he hates his family, but he loves his best friend, which he considers his true family.) So it semi goes like this (I've shortened it) : "Thomas didn't believe in faith but he did believe in luck. It was luck that had (blablabla), and overall, it was luck that had brought him James." I just feel like overall sounds too much like a high school paper, but it feels like the only correct thing ? I tried "in the end" but it sounds even worse than overall, I feel like. Do you think it's fine? Or do you have a better idea?
"Thomas didn't believe in faith but he did believe in luck. It was luck that had (blablabla), and ultimately it was luck that had brought him James."
'Overall' and 'in the end' definitely give the sentence different sounds - I don't think there's anything wrong with 'overall' but I'd consider what specific meaning you're going for. Is luck mostly but not entirely responsible for bringing them together? That's what I'd assume from 'overall'. I like 'ultimately' and you could also try 'at the end of the day', but those have meanings closer to 'in the end' than 'overall'.
I like ultimately. You can taste: above all Slightly different perspective, your MC seams to have a strong opinion about what causes things etc. ...had (blablabla), and without [any] doubt, it was luck that had brought him James."
Or maybe "in the long run" instead of "overall" if you're intending to convey the totality of his experience rather than a small part of it.
So it semi goes like this (I've shortened it) : "Thomas didn't believe in faith (I think the word you were looking for is fate. Faith is belief.)but he did believe in luck. It was luck that had (blablabla), and overall, it was luck that had brought him James." I think your best bet is going to be to use whichever best fits the tone and voice of the story, the best reflection of the character. ETA: It's hard to pick a word for a sentence without knowing the whole sentence or the context of what comes before or after.
My rewrite would be Thomas didn't believe in faith, but he did believe in luck. It was luck that had (blablabla). Most importantly, it was luck that had brought him James.
Oh damn, thanks. I'm sure I would've noticed eventually haha... Right now I'm hesitating between "Above all" and "Most importantly". Both have the sense of what I'm trying to say while being slightly different, I'll have to think about it. Thanks everyone!
Use what fits best, there's always room to change your mind in a future draft. That's why they call this first round a 'rought draft'. The important thing is to get it written, fix things later. Get it written, let be for a few days, read it aloud a few times and find the spots where a reader is likely to stumble. Then do it again.
