When on tour if we lost someone we all had each other and when back at barracks there was always a silence between us. It was strange because it was comfortable a feeling that we were all thinking the same thing something that we all knew. But it usually took a week to sink in properly. And then we would share funny moments. But we never felt the true loss until we were back home. Then it sunk in and deep. When you go you go a full company but when you return its an empty feeling because not all of you are returning.
That would be a very hard thing to go through Raven. I am just glad that I will never have to go through something like that to be honest.
I agree. I couldn't see myself ever being able to handle something like that. It must take a truly strong person.
What Torano said! And also, some days are going to be better than others. It's especially important to remember that on the not-so-good days. Mementos help you bring the person as memories to a lasting home in your heart. The person becomes a part of you. For example, you may hear something, and it makes you think of it the way they would have thought of it; if you notice at all, you might later recognize that part of them in your reaction. The other person lives on in you and through you.
Its something you never get used to. We had a saying on our return carry me over my shield for honour carry me under my shield but proud. If it was a close friend we were allowed to sit with them on the flight home. Its an old tradition but something we all value to the core. What always effected me the most was seeing the children. You never get those images out of your head ever.
If you didn't cry over the death of someone that close to you then there would be something wrong with you... Everyone deals with death in a similar yet different way. I've not had anyone particularly close to me die yet, though some of my grandparents have passed away over the last couple of years.
Life is all about death it stalks us from birth like a predator hunting its prey. You can outrun it for so long but eventually it catches up with you and makes its claim.
I respectfully disagree. You never know how you will react. In fact, many times people will feel numb, or they will feel relief or even a desire to laugh. The latter kinds of reactions can be extremely upsetting and disorienting, and they very likely will feel that "something is wrong with them." You feel what you feel, and some of the feelings make no sense at all.
What a depressing way of looking at life... Cogito, Perhaps I was a little blunt in the way I replied. I really have little experience of death so I can't really say how others should react. >.<
At first I didn't cry. I just stood there and watched everyone else cry. I guess I was in shock. Then when I finally did cry I kept it in until i ran to the bathroom. I have a problem with crying in front of people, it makes me feel... stupid? Then there is my mum, who actually never cried. From what I know. So maybe there are some people that don't cry. It was /her/ mother.
I remember at my Grandad's funeral when my dad cried. It was the first time I'd ever seen him do that and it really shook me.
I know what you mean D= It's scary to see people cry that you see as strong or tough. For example, my dad has only cried two times around me. Once when our great-great grandaunt died, and then once before his bi-polar was bad and he had yelled at me and realized his mistake. It makes you want to cry when that happens :x
Yeah... I've only heard of my dad crying one other time and that was before I was born... He waited 20 years to cry again it seems. D= But sometimes when you see someone cry that doesn't usually it makes your feel protective and stronger and often brings you closer together in the end. =)
At my grandfather's funeral, I was far more upset that no one was crying. They all stood around and gossipped. My grandfather was well liked. It was just their way of dealing with death - not really dealing at all, at least not among others.
Heather not everyone can show how they feel and not everyone displays their sadness through tears. I myself can not cry over the loss as if my children see me cry it upsets them and they won't sleep and once they are asleep it affects my parents too much. So I have not cried since the day of the funeral really. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't affect me as much as others. I just write a poem or go for a walk to get it out instead of letting out the tears.
Maybe. But its how I see it. Depressing or not. I certainly don't let it bother me I've lived through too much for that. I think the important thing is are you happy been what you are who your are.
Just a note, my cousin is letting me keep my grandmothers frog. She also gave me her favorite hat and ring. So yay, got the froggy and some other stuff.
Glad to here you're allowed some momentos I'm quite lucky in that i've not had much experience in losing loved ones to death. The only family/friend to have died is my great-grandma who I was very close to and she died three 3 years ago at a ripe old age when I was thirteen. I have to disagree with whoever said earlier that its wrong not to cry, I loved her very much and I just didn't cry... it didn't mean I didn't care or wouldn't miss her, just that I cope with things in different ways.
