I came up with this setting quickly, at least compared to how much it usually takes me to come up with detailed settings. Too quickly, in my opinion. So I thought of a way to help me fill any possible logical gap that could left the reader thinking "Wait, what?" while reading the story. So, please, don't be shy and ask me as many questions as you can think when reading about this: In the Great Nowhere (basically space) a titanic being called the Leviathan roamed. One day, creatures called fairies descended upon its body and decided to live in it. They gave birth to creatures that called themselves Feyspawn. But because of having been born in a different world, the Feyspawn act and think completely different from fairies (think humans and the gods from the Cthulhu Mythos). This means that while often having good intentions, fairies tend to cause horrible damage to Feyspawn society. When this happens and negotiations fail, magic is used to combat fairies. In the kingdom of Alazar the most important organization is the Grimspiner family composed of great masters of magic that train others in order to defend the kingdom.
Is Alazar part of the the Feyspawn society? I wouldn’t worry with the speed you put it together. My best work happens very fast. I say have fun with it and don’t sweat the minor details. It’ll be better than you think.
The first thing that struck me was the Leviathan. That's exactly the kind of being that the TV show Farscape introduces, along with the name. And yes, the main cast of characters in Farscape live inside the Leviathan—named Moya. I think your concept is great ...the fairies thing, etc ...but maybe come up with another name for the titanic being? Comparisons are likely to be made, which might not be what you intended. Presumably you wouldn't write a story containing a race of rough, proud, strong, implacable, warlike beings ...and call them Klingons? This is kinda the same thing....
This never happens, because you are often wise and experienced, but in this I disagree with you. You are right about the Klingon part, but a leviathan is any huge animal (among other things), Farscape must not have exclusive right to have one. I've seen leviathans in a video game called Stellaris, and as far as I know there hasn't been much comparison. I think it is safe to use leviathan as your being, @BRG , even if they, like in farscape, live inside it.
Of course you can use Leviathan ...it's not copyrighted, and it is a 'word,' in the English language—usually meaning a huge sea creature or a massive and rather unwieldy vehicle or organisation. But I'm sure more readers than just me are going to notice the similarities with Farscape's Leviathan (and maybe with Stellaris as well)—especially as there are also humanoid-type beings living inside both Leviathans. (Fairies are closer to being humans than they are to being liver flukes, I presume—hence my humanoid term.) And your Leviathan—like Farscape's—is also a living creature that lives and travels through outer space. The headline was: "The first question you think of when you read this setting." And that was certainly mine! Of course, like any other reaction/advice, you can decide it doesn't matter and push on. Maybe it doesn't actually matter—even though it does matter a bit to me, as it feels derivative rather than original. My feeling, however, is that in order to make SURE it doesn't matter, I'd come up with another word. Just to be on the safe side. It doesn't have to be a word already in use. You can have some fun creating one from scratch, which will stand out as original, and may end up being memorable.
Was it proofed for SPAG? Was too much information stuffed into one paragraph? Is there too much dependence upon other stories for clarification(s)? Is there too much clarification? (anything inside parentheses) Is this a prologue, a blurb for marketing, or the beginning of a story?
First thing I thought of: What does the inside of the Leviathan look like? I mean, if it's just a bunch of internal organs and blood vessels people will get around like they're going through tunnels. If it's mostly open space, I suppose they would get around much like people on a planet would. The second thing: Why capitalize Feyspawn and not fairies?
A lovely start! I had exactly the same questions as the poster above. Also, I wondered how one would become a member of the Grimspiner family. Is there a test they must pass, or are they part of a lineage?
