I've seen people making threads asking for feedback on their queries, so I thought I might as well ask here, as well. I'm sort of happy with it, but I feel it could maybe be a bit better somehow. Maybe it could stand to be shorter, maybe longer, maybe more detailed, maybe less shit in general, I dunno. I've had one agent I queried to give me a really informal "Wow! Really nice query/manuscript but it's not what I work with so piss off." kind of reply, which helped me feel a little more confident with it, but I'm still wondering what some general feedback might be concerning it, so here I go. I redacted some names out of a form of unjustified retarded self-embarrassment for my own writing. So there it is. Anything glaringly wrong with it? I feel it may be too long, but maybe it's "just perfect" in length, I dunno. Any thoughts?