Nah my daughter kept me awake all night cause she is very sick and has been for a while now. Haven't slept in a few days now so yeah!!!
Yeah it is a nightmare the poor little angel is so exhausted, we all are and I am not getting much writing time nor sleep time and yeah, I'll just be glad to see her get a little bit better soon.
I constantly do stupid things. Main examples are times when I say something and it comes out sounding quite different. Three weeks ago *Looking through school year book* *crowd of people surrounding guy with year book* Girl 1: Wow, doesn’t Shannon look so pretty! Girl 2: Oh yeah, she’s so pretty Guy: lol, look at the face Steven’s pulling! *scattered laughter* Me: Hey look at Will Everyone: Yeah? Me: He looks really black. *silence, everyone looks at me* Me: What? I’m just saying he looks black Girl 1: He’s not black Me: Yeah I know that, I’m just saying he looks really black Guy: (who’s incidentally a Maori with dark skin) then what the hell do you mean by black? *silence* Me: *blanks*.. the light.. it’s dark.. like makes him look really.... dark Everyone: Yeah, whatever eoz Pft. Subsequently now my english class suspect me of being a racist. Two weeks ago *everyone gets back their test results from recent assignment* Girl 1: Jesus, look at my mark, its hell bad, oh my god. Girl 2: Eh, I did ok, you girl 3? Girl 3: Yeah alright, I heaps botched the last section though Me: *looking at highly average test result- feeling disappointed* Girl 3: Farrout Girl 2 you did bloody well, an A, alright? Whatever. Me: *turning around to face girls* don’t you ever feel, like, a deep burning feeling? Girl 1: No. Me: Eh, like I mean a burning feeling of disappointment Girl 2: No… Me: Ah, like a heavy sorter weight feeling, like a burning Girls: No! *all girls simultaneously belly laugh* Subsequently I'm now too afraid to talk to those three girls ever again.
I dropped a full bottle of brandy in my younger days and put a dent in the lid. And broke the toe it hit. Locked my self in the house and had to phone my dad to bring the spare key to get me out. He was working at a police station at the time and I happened to explain why I needed him so badly. When they asked why I didn't just climb out of the window, I told them I was a few weeks off producing mini maid #1 and too big to fit through. They found it rather amusing.:redface: Talking to my mother in law one day discussing eye colour. I said that mini maid #2 had horrible colour eyes. They're neither blue, green, brown just a dirty muddy colour which didn't match all our brown ones. I said that I had no idea where such a beastly colour could come from and she replied 'Me'. Needless to say I can now appreciate their eye colour.
Decided to surprise my girlfriend by picking her up for work in a trenchcoat and nothing more. I got pulled over by the police and this is how it went: OFFICER: Do you realize you dont have a back license plate? ME: Its a new car *glancing over my shoulder to see what happened to the temporary paper plate that was there...Cant find it, Im panicking and turning bloody red as hell* OFFICER: *Starts smirking, suppressing laughter* "Under normal circumstances, I would make you step out of the car. can I ask you where you are going like that?" ME: *Afraid that he will make me get out of the car if he knows im gay, I say..."I was going to surprise my Boyfriend" OFFICER: Yeah, he'll be surprised alright..Get that plate back in the window and have a good night. He winks and laughs all the way back to his car and all I can think about is the table of police officers down at the donut shop laughing at me
That would be embarrassing Joan. Lets see I'll avoid the plain stupid ones. Like Cogito they're not funny just stupid. And we'd be here all day. 1) While running in winter from a construction site I shouldn't have been on (I was just under 10 I think) my toque fell over my left eye, throwing my perspective right off. Ran face first into a truck. Ended up having to get a stitch for my left eye as the cold metal tore my skin. 2) Sword fighting with my brother using sticks I got a stick in my left eye. Not much damage, but some. I had to wear an eye patch for two weeks. Fortunately it was near Halloween and I wanted to be a pirate. 3) Two and a half years ago, working at McDonalds. Had to clean EVERYTHING for a big inspection from Canada's branch President. On my 9th hour of breakneck work I was cleaning the dusty, greasy electronics that no one ever looks at under the french fry fryers. With 20 minutes to spare I did the most expedient thing possible, filled a squirt bottle with water, and started spraying down the electronics while the machines were running. The first one was fine, no shocks or anythings. Cleaning the second one and the maintenance manager comes over. Manager: "Dan are you using water?!!!!" Me: "Yep. It works really well." Manager: "But aren't you getting shocked?" Me: "Hasn't happened yet. <Zap> Ow!" She looks at me in wonder as I keep scrubbing away with water. Manager: "You're going to get shocked again." Me: "No I won't. I wasn't shocked with the last one and look how clean it is. <ZAP> I'm going to stop cleaning there now." She wandered away shaking her head as I continue spraying water on the other side of the fryer. Its going along nicely, nearly done when she comes back. Manager: "Are you still using water?" Me: "Yep, I'm nearly do<ZAP>ne." She looks with her eyes wide, at the crazy person in front of her. Me: "It doesn't do that when your not here. <Zap> I'm going say its done now." 4) At McDonalds I'd been working some insane hours. A guy I really hated phoned in and said he couldn't come in for work. I'm on my 8th hour of work, after getting 5 hours of sleep, and working 12 hours the previous night. Manager: "Dan can you cover for (Moron boy)?" Me giddy with joy and lack of sleep: "Nope, I'll be into overtime then." Manager: "Sorry we start a new pay period at midnight." Me: "But I don't want to. Can't you get somebody else?" Manager: "Your the only one available." Me sad and dejected: Ok. Manager walks away. Me to the world in general and shouting: "Why did I say I'd do it???? I know I'M A MORON!!!!!!" I proceeded to pretend to cry, as the grill person backed away from me. 5) McDonalds again (are you seeing a trend to?) Get off of nightshift, and I'm leaving as the assistant manager walks in. Me: "Hi assistant manager. I'll see you in three hours." The assistant manager looks at me strangely but doesn't say anything. Three hours later. Me: "Hi assistant manager. I'd like a medium coffee, and a large chocolate milkshake please. Mix them together please." Assistant manager: "Did you sleep at all?" Me giddy: "No!" (Hour 15 of work, no sleep for the past 25 hours) Swing Manager from the night before walks in. Swing Manager: Dan are you still here?" Me, on my third wind and currently on my 9th sugar/caffeine high: "YES!!!!!!" She talks to the head manager. Head Manager: "Dan go home!" Me: "OK!!!!!" 6) There was this one summer at McDonalds where I was working insane hours. This is what one manager said about it. "When I come in in the morning you're just leaving. When I leave in the afternoon, you're coming in. When I come in the next morning you're leaving again. You do this every single day. WHEN DO YOU SLEEP?" The answer: "What's sleep?"
Yes you can. But some other poor schmuck can get them for you. I'm weird, I like being lazy, and will jokingly whine, moan and complain, when forced to work. But I'm also a bit of a workaholic. I think thats why McDonalds liked me so much, I didn't know how to say no, when they asked me to work. One of the stupidest things I ever did was actually this. Girl I like: We can make out if you want. Me: You have a fiancee. I know he's out of town but no. The rest of the night is spent with her getting slightly drunk, and confessing several things I did not need to know about. I still kick myself.
Yeah. Being honorable can be a drag. But it helps when you look at the face in the mirror the next day I've had a few of those moments. And sometimes I want to kick myself, but usually I have to admit I wouldn't have had it any other way. BTW, glad you could stop in for a bit.
It wasn't so much missing the chance to make out or anything. It was the long story she told me. When I got home that night, I had to phone my Mom at 3am, to get the stuff she got off her chest, off of my chest. But yeah I'm glad I played honourable. By the time she left my life, she had stopped being quite so abusive to herself, and was getting her life into order.
I used to do a lot of stupid things when I was in high school (strange, that was just an year back) with my friends. Most of them were deliberate and planned, but turned up real stupid. Pretended to pee in a really really public space...just sorta held my hands against my crotch and stood in front of a wall. And this was New, and it was VERY crowded, and it was right in the center of that crowd. Pretended to play 'air baseball' with a friend on Times Square. 'Air Baseball' is when there is no bat, and there is no ball. There's just two idiots hitting the air with their hands and even running about. Heckled a street comedian and told him his mother was an alien, then looked to the sky and some ****in dumb bird dropped a huge bird-turd on my shoulder. Embarassing. Leaned over far too back in the chair in front of a PACKED hall and fell hard on my ass. Embarassing, again. Started a mock fight with a friend in front of a large crowd. A cop came over and threatened to take us into custody for 'disturbing peace', after the wouldnt believe we were just play-acting. Felt real dumb after he left. Walked up to a cop and made that 'oops!' expression and ran away, clutching something in my hand (it was a half-eaten sandwich...the cop didnt know, of course). The cop gave chase and would've almost shot me if he was 50 pounds lighter and could actually pull out his gun. Got mace in in face. That HURT. There's lots lots more. And they all involve either cops, or large crowds, and stupidity.
I put my finger in a candle flame until I crie when before hand my Gran had told me not to do it because I'll get burnt... I think that contributed to my immense fear of fire...
It was about 5 Super Bowls ago, and I had gotten this awesome dragon kite and wanted to fly it before the game. We had some niiiice wind so I started at the top of the hill and ran. My kite was way up there by the time I heard the yelling. I was just enjoying looking at how high my kite was going and didn't look where I was going. (Let's remember I was at a full speed sprint) WHAM! I flew over a picnic bench and landed about a foot from it. I knees where so bruised I could barely bend them x) We thought I had broken something, but luckily I hadn't. My kite flew away though =( I miss my kite. Then the next stupidest thing I've done wasn't so bad. When we first bought our house the halls at night were really dark. My room was at the end of it and I am super afraid of the dark. So first night I turned off the kitchen light and dashed for my room, to escape the darkness. Let's just say in the dark... my door appears to not be there. I ran right into it and got a nice bruise on my forehead.
I don't know if this is stupid so much as embarrassing. But I was hanging out with this guy I was kinda interested in. We were laying on the grass at the baseball field at night. We were being playful, and he chased me around for a little while. We were walking back to where we'd been laying, and I thought it would be cute if I jumped on his back. So I went to do it, and he turned his head...and WHAM! I accidentally hit him right in the face. I felt so horrible. It was okay, though. We still ended up making out.
I met this lady and her sister in a bar about a decade ago, she bragged about how if she ever met someone who had more balls than her she would take him home and have sex with him. I challenged her to a "I'll show you mine if you show me yours". I won by standing up, dropping my pants and whipping it out right there in the bar. She kept her word though.
I got a new one. Going to China, with no knowledge of the language, no real plans, and about 11 or 12 days before I can reasonably call up my new employer and say I'm ready for the free accommodations. Once I find a bank that my Canadian bank is affiliated with, replenish my funds, and get decent access to the net, I'll do fine. Until then BLOODY HELL THIS SUCKS!!!!
I'm starting to believe that we may have another JetBlack... Didn't even know this thread existed, but I suppose I can add a few things to it. 1. In the sixth grade I was playing soccer/football with my entire class. Cutting across the field after I had just gotten the ball, I looked back to make sure no one was following me -- bang. Apparently, a goal post had suddenly sprouted from the ground and attacked my forehead. Our crappy school district made us use what is essentially piping that just happens to come out of the ground high enough, and is in a rectangular shape as a goal. I hit the ground, and everyone crowded around me -- then, I got up and walked myself to the nurse's office. My mom called the doctor, and they told me not to go to sleep or I might die -- that kinda freaked me out, but I think I took a nap anyway. From what I heard, someone had died doing that very thing a bit earlier. 2. Moving forward to the eighth grade, and one hell of a menopausal teacher -- is that sexist? She made us write some diary thing, and she wanted to come by and read mine, but I refused. In an attempt to run from her -- I'm weird, sue me -- I climbed out of the desk I was in, but fell to the ground on my back. 3. In the same class, she was a bit anal-retentive about us tucking in our shirts (it was the school's policy, but no one liked to), and mine wasn't tucked in. So, instead of leaving the class, I ducked behind some tables and told everyone not to look while I adjusted everything. Learning that making something forbidden apparently entices EVERYONE, I had a bit of an audience. (I've also changed behind a tree with my whole class on the other side... kinda fun) 4. I have a habit for jumping things. While at school, I hopped on to a drinking fountain, then jumped off of it. Unfortunately, the principal had watched the whole thing. Without even turning to face her, she scolded me -- I was scared as hell. Though, in the end, I didn't get in trouble. 5. I used to have a go-cart, and my dad had made it a little more powerful than it was stock. When I tried to get out of it to get something, I wasn't on the brakes -- it launched into the side of a parked car. 6. Though I didn't actually do this, I figured I might as well mention it. Walking to car after a day of playing baseball with an aluminum bat, my brother still felt he wanted to play. In motion, and only several inches from my head, he threw the ball up and swung. Needless to say, I got hit in the back of the head. Ya know, metallic objects and my head don't seem to get along. I told you I like to jump things...
