1. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    How to introduce my protagonist first when the story starts with my antagonist?

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by rktho, Aug 2, 2017.

    In my novel, a dragon emperor buys a sword from a mercenary and gets something stolen from him-- a crystal that keeps him immortal. The thief loses the crystal, which is found by my protagonist.

    So here's my problem. I'm trying to make it clear which one is my antagonist and which one is my protagonist when the antagonist is introduced first since that's where the action of the story begins. In Eragon, for example, Arya is one of the clear protagonists, even though she's not the main protagonist. So a prologue introducing the main villain before the main hero isn't a problem there. But in my prologue, there are no "good guys". Daktarash, the thief, is a neutral mercenary and I kill him off shortly after he fulfills his purpose. Zarakharn, on the other hand, is the main villain, and people keep mistaking him for a) a good guy or b) an antihero. Either way, people are assuming he's the protagonist.

    Plus, the prologue in Eragon is short, and I can't make my prologue that short. Too much happens in it.

    I also considered making my prologue Chapter One and wrote a new prologue in which Daktarash is hired by a mysterious organization to steal the crystal. If he does not uphold his end of the bargain, he will be tracked down and imprisoned. But I'm afraid that since the members of these organization are supposed to seem very grey when they are introduced, Zarakharn could still be construed as a protagonist. So what I need is a way for my main protagonist, Ginzaekh, to be introduced first.

    But Ginzaekh has nothing to do. Basically, he's a poor hunter striving to provide for his fatherless family. Other than hunt with his friends, there's nothing exciting for him to do that I can open the story with. I save the thrilling hunting scene for when he finds the crystal. So what can I do if I want to open my story with Ginzaekh if I want my readers to be hooked?
     
  2. Walking Dog

    Walking Dog Active Member

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    Prophesy is one solution. A soothsayer can offer hope to the inflicted by predicting your protagonist.
     
  3. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    This sounds like the beginning to me. I don't really see much need to depict what comes before it?
     
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  4. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    Because the reader needs to know the circumstances under which the crystal found its way to the protagonist.
     
  5. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    Well, as far as rulers go, my antagonist isn't quite as evil as he is as a person. People complain, but they don't feel oppressed. But as a dark wizard, my antagonist is very evil, and when the crystal is stolen he does some very cruel things outside of his guise as the emperor and a few things within it. Long story short, the people wouldn't feel the need for a prophecy that gave them hope. However...

    My antagonist's death is prophesied, and that's what drives him to create the crystal in the first place; it's like a horcrux. It says nothing about the protagonist because ultimately the antagonist is the cause of his own death. What my protagonist does is realize that and trick him into fulfilling the prophecy he took such pains to avoid.

    Also, my protagonist is a bit of a chosen one. The Rishnaran is the being that controls everything, and the Riphalaron is kind of like his prophet; he communicates directly with him. The Rishnaran usually makes the chosen Riphalaron aware of his choosing by giving them prophetic dreams of the past, which, as the time grows nearer for the Riphalaron to be fully realized, turn into dreams of the future. There were many Riphalarons in the age of wizards, but the last one, Khriza, is dead and has been for thousands of years, and since then the world has had no idea magic is anything but fiction. When Ginzaekh is chosen as the Riphalaron, he slowly gains new powers and abilities until the Rishnaran is ready to manifest himself to him. It's not the protagonist's specific destiny to defeat the protagonist-- at least, not by way of this whole Riphalaron thing. The Rishnaran fully intends for Ginzaekh to defeat Zarakharn and Ginzaekh is destined to do so.
     
  6. archer88i

    archer88i Banned Contributor

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    I've been saying for weeks now that the reader doesn't need to know that. But, I mean... Well. Whatever. :p
     
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  7. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Why?

    Plenty of stories start with some mystery. It very often makes the story better.
     
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  8. Fiender_

    Fiender_ Active Member

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    Agreeing with everyone else here; it's not something the reader neeeeeeeds to know at the very beginning. If you're so worried about people knowing who your protag is, then start with them finding the crystal. All those details you think the reader NEEDS to know? They will: later in the story.
     
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  9. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    True, but opening with Zarakharn returning home established the premise of dragons living in cities.
     
  10. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    I think you're right.
     
  11. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    But you can establish that some other way. And that can be a surprise, too, for that matter.
     
  12. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    Then it's settled then.

    Funny, that only seems redundant when you read it the second time...
     
  13. Thom

    Thom Active Member

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    What's wrong with the reader thinking the antagonist is the protagonist at first? You say the people do not 'fear' him, so maybe the reader shouldn't at first either.
     
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  14. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Yeah, I agree with the field in that the distinction isn't important. You're in big trouble if you need to explain your characters to your readers. Or anything else for that matter.
     
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  15. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    I'm in the process of writing the beginning chapter and it's going great, but there are two problems. Because the scene is so fast-paced I barely have room for descriptions, and I feel like I'm just kind of throwing my readers into the middle of something with no explanation.

    Here it is from the beginning:

    The doe looked up from its graze. Something had told it a predator was near. When the dragon’s shadow passed over it, it bolted.

    Ginzaekh swooped and began to give chase, talons and claws outstretched to snatch the deer when he finally overtook it— if it didn’t head into the woods first.

    An avocado green blur streaking past the deer told Ginzaekh that Gazi had just startled their prey into turning away from the woods. Thanks, Gazi, Ginzaekh thought, grinning. He saw her zoom back around and fly past again, herding the doe in the direction they wanted.

    Ginzaekh’s dark eyes flicked up for an instant to see his friend Ash hovering above the bank where the deer would be trapped, ready to swoop down and catch it. Ginzaekh veered in an arc so that he, Ash, and Gazi formed an equilateral triangle to entrap the hind once it had run into their trap— or to cut it off if it decided to change course.

    Ginzaekh saw the deer’s sprint become slower and slower as he and Gazi drew nearer and nearer. Smoke curled around the two dragons’ bared teeth in determination. Then suddenly—

    Ash dove, and the hind circled back— but Ginzaekh was ready for it and grabbed its head in his right talon. He swiped at the doe’s back with his other talon but missed, only scratching it and drawing blood. He yanked his foot back and the deer was jerked backward into the air, breaking its hind legs as it hit the ground with Ginzaekh’s talon still clamped to it and was dragged through the grass.

    Ginzaekh stopped flying and dropped the deer. With one swipe of his claws, he killed it. Then he stood upright and looked up as Ash and Gazi came to meet him. “Good work,” he said as they landed. “That’s the last one.”

    “I saw a dead buck in the forest over the river,” Gazi replied, pointing a claw in the direction she was referring to. “We should take it before scavengers find it.”

    “Good idea,” Ginzaekh said. He bent down and picked up the deer. “Lead the way, Gazi.”

    As the three dragons passed over the rushing river, an abnormal glint of sunlight winked off the surface of the water in Ginzaekh’s eye. He blinked and thought nothing of it.

    An inquisitive fox disappeared into the thicket as they landed beside the deer’s corpse. Ginzaekh took it in his arms and said, “That was fortunate. Let’s get back to the village.”

    As they passed over the river again, the glint reappeared and this time Ginzaekh saw something wedged in the riverbed. “Ash! Gazi!” he called as they flew past it. He landed abruptly and Ash and Gazi circled around and did the same. “What? What is it?” asked Ash, crossing his arms. “If we don’t hurry back to the cart, someone else might steal it.”

    “Why would any thieves be out here?” Ginzaekh asked. “We’re the only hunters around here. Everybody else hunts in the summer and spring and it’s nearly autumn.”

    “Nearly,” Ash muttered, but he walked over to the riverbed where Ginzaekh was crouched, reaching a scaly green hand into the water.

    Gazi’s slender wings quivered as she stooped to see what Ginzaekh had found. Her red eyes widened as Ginzaekh drew something out of the water— a long, blue-white crystal with perfectly carved faces and facets. A slow gasp escaped Ash’s mouth.

    “Look at it,” Ginzaekh breathed.

    “Is that what I think it is?” Ash asked, reaching out a claw to touch it.

    “I think it is,” Gazi replied in a hushed voice. She reached into her leather bag at her side and unfolded a piece of parchment on which was written:

    Lost Possession Belonging to the Emperor

    His Imperial Majesty Zarakharn Angriadrash Arkhriza hereby proclaims that the dragon who locates and returns the following object stolen on the last night of Avasta, will receive a reward of ten thousand ingzai for their trouble.

    The object is a crystal, twelve inches long and five inches in diameter, with six faces and blue white color. Handle with care. Bringers of counterfeits will imprisoned.

    Signed Zarakharn Angriadrsh rKhriza

    “This must be it!” Ash cried. “The crystal we’ve been hearing about for three days now! We’re going to be rich!”

    “Hold on,” said Ginzaekh. “We’d better be careful with this. Everybody’s looking for this. We can’t let anyone know we have it except our parents.”

    Gazi stroked her snout. “He’s right. If anyone finds out we have it, we’re going to get robbed.”

    Ginzaekh sat on his haunches, tail flicking in the grass behind him. He opened his satchel and pulled out an off-white, nondescript cloth. “We’ll put it in my bag,” he said, wrapping the crystal in it. He then took several more sheets and wrapped them around each other. He fished a piece of twine from the bottom of the purse and tied the package together. Ginzaekh muttered to himself as he emptied the contents of the satchel and placed the crystal at the bottom, then replaced the items and closed the pack. He slung it over his shoulder again. “There,” he said with satisfaction. He flicked his wings toward the direction of the village. “Let’s go.”
     

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