No, I don't mean a second draft of the original cut, I mean literally the same scene twice. For example, showing two different characters in a different location going through the 'same' motions. In Hound and Fox (Can't call it Fox and the Hound because Disney) I plan to show the same morning wake up sequence, well, not exactly the same. The purpose is to show the differences (and similarities) between the characters. I'm not sure if there's much more point to it than introducing the main characters. I probably wouldn't bother with this idea if there weren't so few characters in this story. Like there's literally only five or so in the story and three of them are really just plot movement characters.
I think there would have to be a reason we you are telling this portion of the story twice. Why this scene again? Why just just another scene if it's to show character development for two different players in your story? Also, be careful about using characters as props. I did this in a story once and thought I was even being clever. My mentor encouraged me to actually develop my prop charters and they started to become more important to the story which made the story richer overall. I will no longer include such characters in my writing, and my writing is better for it.
The theme of the story is showing what each character is doing at the time, it's purposeful and the scenes aren't 100% the same, other than 'getting ready for the day'. There's a point in the story where the two characters are being observed by a third party through monitors, performing the same challenges in different ways. As for the 'getting ready' scene both scenes are super short and they eventually converge into one scene, same with the other scene in the story like that. The Baron isn't even physically *in* the story, or rather he never comes into direct contact with them. I haven't decided how I'm going to use him yet. The other character I may develop more though.
Is that you, Stephanie Meyer? (For those who don't know, she published the same novel twice using another point of view, making bank.) As for me: --I have too many stories to tell. I would never do that.
If I say, "No, don't do it," I'd have to go back in my W.I.P. and eliminate or drastically change a couple of scenes that have a similar purpose. In my case, my MCs have had a nasty lovers' quarrel and are . . . not exactly refusing to speak to one another, but carefully avoiding each other so they won't have to deal with the issues. I have two scenes, set at different times in different places, where each of them has a mentor figure tell them to get their heads out of their rears and make up before it's too late. I don't know if I'll get away with it. At least I no longer have the scenes happening simultaneously the same evening. In the guy's scene, we find out something about his mentor that will be important later, so that one has to stay in. And darned if I'm going to have the female character just magically decide all on her lonesome to be the good egg and forgive and forget. She'll get to that eventually, they both will. But I want to show that both of them are being bullheaded, both of them are right and wrong about the fight and what made them respond the way they did, and both of them need to come out of this with a healthy, humble fear of how they nearly screwed up a very good thing. That's my justification. You can supply your own. Whatever you do, don't be silly about it. I read a novel a few years ago featuring a man and his workplace nemesis. The author kept throwing in these paired scenes where the protag and the antag would be doing the same sort of thing at the same time, even though they were unaware of each other's location and not thinking of the other at all. Like the protag would drop something on the floor and crawl around looking for it, and in the next scene, the antagonist would be down on his hands and knees trying to retrieve something off the floor. My writer's brain said, "I see what you're doing. You want me to think, 'Hey, these men might be enemies, but they're really not so different after all!'" But it was a contrivance, a trick. Artificial, and very, very silly.
Hmm. One thing the writing guides tell us is that there's nothing deadlier to begin a story with than a "getting ready for the day" scene. And you're thinking of including two. You might get away with it, if you begin the story with the character observing through the monitors. I can even visualize opening with a minimal first-thing-in-the morning-scene with the first subject, and just at the right time you zoom back and show us that he's being monitored, for a reason we might want to know. But doing it with two people, with essentially the same routine? Can't see it. Could you forego describing what the second subject does on first awakening, and simply make us aware that the observer is checking up on more than one camera? Then have something in No. 2's behavior draw his attention and we find out about that? That is, make the observations consecutive, not simultaneous.
I don't know about a getting ready scene being 'evil' though, maybe I can get away with the first one because the POV character used to live in a village that hasn't modernized it's culture since feudal japan times. I at least have the excuse of exposing her to all these new things that she wasn't used to being around. (She talks back to the TV as if the people on the news can hear her...so...she's kinda a derp that way.) She's a high profile thief, but most of the time she stole from people who lived in the country of Japan, ya know, where it's still closer to how it used to be. I think the last two posts in the topic is one of the main reasons I was debating doing it. In the actual animation (I plan to animate the story someday) the scenes would be playing splitscreen so no run-time is wasted. They'd also go by a lot faster since narration takes longer than visual storytelling. I was not 100% sure it'd work in writing though, which is why I thought to ask before doing it. That probably means I need to find some other scene to endear the reader to the Male lead though.
No, not evil. But off-putting to a reader. But you're right--- painting with words is a different thing than painting with animation.
Write in omniscient POV and write both of their routines in one scene. Eg. While Jack was brushing his teeth, however, Jenny next door had run out of toothpaste. Grimacing at the empty tube, she resolved to head to the shop before going to the office. This meant she would only board the next bus at 8.24, so when Jack got on it that morning, he stared at the empty seat opposite where Jenny always sat and wondered where she was, for he'd come to be quite fond of her. Small, pixie features made soft with a curtain of glossy hair, one eye always obscured as she read her book. Not this morning. This morning all Jack had for his enjoyment was the same old view through the same old streets. Monday morning. Well, there was always Tuesday - she was bound to be on the bus tomorrow.
