How to represent a relationship that is slowly breaking down?

Most people in the English-speaking world take a marriage vow that includes 'forsaking all others.' People usually assume that means 'don't have an affair,' but those words can encompass much more.

I'd say problems often arise when a person's loyalty/responsibility/dependence still resides with their original blood family, and the spouse always comes second when 'family' issues arise.

This might well be what's behind the husband's dissatisfaction. It's not so much that HE is selfish, but that his rightful place is being usurped by what looks to be a self-centred old man. Of course the wife is caught in the middle, but it is actually her responsibility to deal with it.

She does not "owe" her father this level of care. And if he threatens to withhold her tuition money unless she gives it, she needs to wake up. That old man is holding her hostage for his own selfish reasons. It might be an idea to find another way to fund her ongoing education. Sometimes sorting these kinds of problems does involve a bit of sacrifice.

She doesn't have to abandon her father, but she doesn't need to become his full time (or nearly so) carer either. He is being 'cared for.' That should be enough.

 

perhaps the husband could stop off at a drive-in and buy a couple of chili dogs for himself and an ice cream sundae. he arrives at home and sits down to eat. he had not taken the time to ask his wife if she wanted anything from the restaurant. she walks past him at the kitchen table and snarls at him. he offers her one begrudgingly. and she says "you always do this".

just a thought. good luck!

 

Kinda late to this discussion, but the master of descriptions of relationships that are ending is the songwriter John Prine. An example:



The lyrics read like a haiku...a series of vignettes that signal that the character is realizing by degrees that end is near:

 

Wow this would be really interesting to include - thank you!

 

Personality changes would be a big one, probably depending on how old they are. But nonetheless, maybe they just change and the husband doesn't like that so they want out. Or vice versa. There are a multitude of reasons for this "change" but you probably get the point by now.

I guess maybe how you could show a relationship slowly breaking down:

- Make sex almost, or just plain nonexistent. And next out the door being affection (hugs, kisses, buying gifts on special holidays or at random, etc.)

- Arguments over petty stuff could begin to sprout up more and more often. And even then, they can seem really big as well, leading to more "severe" consequences.

- Maybe when they talk about their SO's to others, they usually say negative things.

- All in all, they slowly drift apart. They talk less, sometimes they don't even sleep in the same bed.

- Though they may not resort to cheating, they may start to find other people more attractive than their spouse.

That could all happen before the divorce. Don't actively say "their marriage was falling apart" instead, actively show it. Give the reader clues here or there but that's about it.