I was wondering if these two sentences are examples of telling as opposed to showing: 1. A worried look crossed her face. 2. A look of terror passed through face. What's the "showy" version of those sentences? Should I avoid sentences like these and focus in particular on the facial expressions that would convey those emotions?
I thought about saying something like "she frowned" or "her brows furrowed" but those also could imply confusion and other emotions. Are there particular words that would describe the facial expression when someone is worried or scared?
Frowning or furrowed brow often indicates worry. Scared might be better described as "a haunted look" or "her face paled in fright."
I think if you want to show worry there are ways that work better than facial expressions. Let's say a woman has just discovered her 4-year-old daughter has been in a car accident and is in the hospital, but she doesn't know her condition yet. She's just raced to the hospital, breaking all speed limits in her car, and is standing outside the exam room where her daughter is, waiting to hear about her condition. I think I'd show worry through her constant restless activity, inability to stand still or sit down, constant fidgeting, tremoring voice, and frequently demanding of hospital workers near her to be allowed to go in and see her daughter. Maybe she tries to sit down several times, when nurses or someone tells her to do so, but she can't sit still and rises to her feet almost immediately each time, as if she's unable to control her own actions. Maybe after some time goes by she's able to sit for short periods and try to distract herself by looking at her phone or magazines, but can't do it for more than a few seconds before she practically throws it down and rises again, wringing her hands nervously, clenching and unclenching them, pacing incessantly back and forth, etc. That might be a bit much, but I'm brainstormiong here, I'd decide later how much to leave in. And of course I didn't write it in a showing way, this is just a brief outline of the kinds of things I would show. If you absolutely want to show it through facial expressions here are some things I'd think about—eyebrows raised and drawn tightly together, eyes opened too wide, maybe she keeps chewing on her lip or clenching her jaw muscles tightly. But I'd also want to include some other cues, like fast breathing and a high shrill voice. It might only show on her face, in which case it's a pretty mild worry I think. But it's also important that the readers know the rest of the secnario. Because I explained that her daughter had been hit and she doesn't yet know her condition, it's clear she would be extremely worried. So the rest of the body language and expressions would definitely be interpreted as worry or even fear (extreme worry). Maybe her husband or a neighbor she knows well and called shows up and she rushes immediately to him and embraces him, dropping her head onto his shoulder almost like she's going to start sobbing. In other words I'd find multiple ways to reinforce her worry. But I don't know what the context is, maybe I'm doing a far more extreme worry than you need.
Another way to show worry besides facial expression/body movement would be like, "She looked at him as if she'd just watched a homeless man hobble into oncoming traffic" or "She looked like she'd just watched her life savings go down the drain." Again, depends on the writing style of the rest of the story. Sometimes "she looked worried" can be enough to convey it.
Show will never mention what's being shown. The target gets voldemorted. It's the emotion which must not be named. So you can't say anything about "worry." Synonyms can't be used to cheat around it either. It can't just be a "look of concern" or something like that. You can describe the physical expression, which is what you asked for. There's no one solution for that. One expression might very well look like another, just like in real life. That's okay. She smiled weakly. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. She looked at him, only for a moment, and then turned away. Her smile tightened. etc. All those could show worry or even something else. The context of the scene clarifies it all. The length of the description shows its importance. There's nothing wrong with being done quickly because your story might have better things to do than spell out every detail of an emotion. That's why the simple tell is okay. You need those tells, IMO. (But you need shows too.) And all the above posts are true. Imagery, broader gestures, narrative allusions . . . I would add dialog and inner dialog as well, depending on POV. Also quick flashbacks, because you don't need to necessarily see the expression to know it occurred. There's a zillion paths. "Hey Macy, have you seen my Glock?" Rory asked. "I left it in the nursery." When Macy was seven, her brother's pet tarantula, Mr. Wigglyshanks, escaped from his cage. Her brother had looked everywhere for him. One day Macy put on her toboggan . . . "What's wrong?" Rory asked. Macy left the room.
Apparently in some places the word toboggan means a type of hat, rather than a sled—a little explanation for the terminally confused (such as myself).
Now we'll weed out the yankees from the brits. haha Down south we used to call them poodle caps. I think it's because the the puffy ball looks like their fur? We also believed in the punish bug. The punish bug exacts terrible vengeance upon children with karmic glee.
You can avoid saying the word worry by building up the detail -- The line for the roller coaster was getting shorter and shorter and Lucy looked to her friend Emily and found her smile gone. She was now gnawing her lip, flinching at the screams as the riders took the roaring loop. "You can back out, chicken." or --- Lucy looked over at her friend Emily who'd gone from razzing impatience at the roller coaster line up to worry as they were next in line. Terror only feels over the top if you cannot make the upgrade from worry work. Worry is a 'lesser' emotion. Terror could be someone having to do a speech in class whereas worry might be someone that is fine with doing the speech but worried about messing up. You can use the surrounding sentences to build the sensation of what you're going for.
Both of these sentences are alright. They are a bit telly, and lacking context. I'd say avoid sentences like these as they aren't that stimulating. Expressing some visual/spatial/temporal event is always more captivating I think. Also, I wrote some sentences down 'cause you got me thinking about it. 1. Worry: "The rate of her breath increases. She rubs the base of her thumb, her eyes staring off into the distance." "She swallowed and her eyes flickered in several directions." "Her lower lip tightens and she breathes shallowly." "She bites her lip and looks downwards, thinking deeply on the unfortunate event." 2. Fear: "Her face pulls back in horror." "She seemed to stop moving, her face frozen in tension." "A ripple crossed through her being, a slowness and horror, causing her to stiffen." "Her eyes stopped moving and her hands lifted into statuesque form in front of her, trying to protect against some unknown evil."
Taken in isolation, this seems illustrative of the risk of show-don't-tell becoming ludicrous. And it may overlook that a character's facial expression is a pretty weak device for imparting worry or terror to a reader of a book. Whatever the face looks like, nobody can see it, because it isn't real. A real face attracts sympathy automatically - but if your art is faces, be a painter. What is real is the character's voice. We can write the feelings and context behind the situation in infinite detail, in a way painters can only imply. Book characters only need faces to convey things to the other characters around them. Otherwise, don't mention the face - let the reader assemble their own if they want one, from newspaper clippings
If this is happening in conversation, I'd be more often than not tempted to 'show' that through dialogue instead of facial expression. I also think telling it, worried look, is fine, too.
