1. evan-leigh

    evan-leigh New Member

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    How to write about initial attraction

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by evan-leigh, Mar 20, 2018.

    My story is in first person from a girl's pov. I plan to write a love triangle. The characters are Minah, Ethan and Gordon. Minah and Gordon are the ones that will have the 'main relationship' and end up together eventually. The characters have just met but how do I highlight Ethan's liking for Minah through first person? Ethan is suffering from second-love interest syndrome if you will, he will eventually fall in love with her, they may have a fling- but evidently Minah's heart lies with Gordon.

    The characters are in hospital after Gordon got shot, Ethan is one of Gordon's friends, Minah was the one who ran to help Gordon after he was shot and now she's meeting his friends and Gordon for the first time.

    So- you know how you may be shy and awkward around someone you're physically attracted to? How do I let Minah and the readers know that's the way Ethan feels right now without making it cheesy and over the top? Right now I have-

    “You’re making me emotional now,” I say wiping away a fake tear, though I am close to actually shedding a tear or two. “As far as I’m concerned there was no other choice for me to make, I had to go out there and help him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself otherwise. So really I did it for a selfish reason.” I joked and the boys laughed.

    “I don’t think a better person could have saved Gordon- thank you, Minah.” Ethan said with looking down and smiling a sheepish-smile.


    What else can I write that she picks up on that implies to her and the readers that he may like her- well only physically at this point because they've only known each other for a few hours. I'm mainly struggling because it's first person and I don't want it to be cheesy stuff like 'oh my goodness does he like me?! omg i'm in love!'

    Thanks in advance!
     
  2. CoyoteKing

    CoyoteKing Good Boi Contributor

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    Random suggestions...
    • He accidentally touches her. Or touches her on purpose, putting his hand on her shoulder, that kind of thing. It linger for a moment--then he snatches back his hand.
    • She does something he's attracted to (like pulling up her hair... or murdering a bad guy... idk, whatever floats his boat). He stares at her for a long moment, seems flustered, then stops.
    • He goes out of his way to talk to her.
    • He goes out of his way to spend time with her alone. He draws her aside for a private conversation. That kind of thing.
    • If they eat together, he offers her something off his plate, or refills her cup for her.
    • He reacts with mild discomfort/annoyance when he sees something romantic happen between her and another guy.
     
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  3. GlitterRain7

    GlitterRain7 Galaxy Girl Contributor

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    Maybe she catches him staring at her more then once, or maybe he casually suggests that they should hang out sometime. He could take interest in her life or hobbies or whatever.
     
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  4. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    The food thing @CoyoteKing mentioned is good. Since they're in the hospital, perhaps the meal is delivered, he notices her favorite kind of cookie is the dessert, and he gives her his. Or, he asks for an extra cookie and gives it to her. The key to making it work is, it's her favorite cookie.

    ETA: Also, this may or may not work for your story, but...because I have a lot of platonic guy friends (I work with mostly guys), I tend to be a bit clueless that someone likes me. Unless the guy does something really obvious, one of my guy friends is usually the one who points out that, "Dude! That guy likes you!"
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2018
  5. evan-leigh

    evan-leigh New Member

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    These are the exact kind of things I was looking for, not too cheesy but cute enough to make readers want to see the relationship go somewhere- thank you!
     
  6. evan-leigh

    evan-leigh New Member

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    That's a good idea, I might just have to add that part in! I'm just going to write the character as a very observant girl who notices each time he makes a move on her lmfao. Thanks!
     
  7. evan-leigh

    evan-leigh New Member

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    Thank you!!
     
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