How to write about love

Discussion in 'Research' started by Aliice, Aug 26, 2010.

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  1. PhaiRo

    PhaiRo New Member

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    There is one single best approach:
    Write from your own heart...and that goes into all aspects of writing. It will be authentic, and genuine.

    Sure, see how other authors do it, and build from that, but never mimic.
     
  2. JimFlagg

    JimFlagg New Member

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    I disagree with this. Love can never be defined because it is a Point of View and is why we have different "Kinds of Love". To say some one has never loved because they have never had a romantic relationship is a fallacy. Unless you have mental issues we have all had a form of love from the time we are first held in our mothers arms. Granted a mothers love is not the same kind of love you have for a mate but there is still the same feelings that these kinds of love cause. When your mother is not there you have a feeling of lose or a hole in your heart. You have the same feeling when you mate is not there.

    That being said, I would warn that you distinguish between Romance and Love. They are different things. Romance is more chemical and physical and uses love or leads to love. Love is the thing you get when you find someone who make you whole. I would have to agree that you can not write about romance until you have had at least one romantic encounter. Romance also has different points of view. Each one is different and that is why it is sometimes fun to read because you get to see it from the writers point of view.

    Ok, I will stop ranting for now.
     
  3. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    I'm going to have to agree with Jim. There are so many different ways to express and feel love and everyone defines it differently. It means different things to different people. Take for instance my grandparents. My grandfather never once told my grandmother he loved her, he never brought her flowers, he never even bought her a birthday present. Sounds sad right? When he died when I was 5 she never was with anyone else until 2 years ago. Why? She couldn't imagine finding anyone who would love her as much as he did. He SHOWED her he loved her by working hard to provide her, by bragging about her meals, by listening to her when she talked. He just didn't know how to say it. They didn't have the money for extras. They were farmers and they worked hard together. From the outside he looked like a cold, hard man. To her he was the warmth of the sun on a July afternoon. You can't tell someone what they have or haven't felt. It's all different.
     
  4. JimFlagg

    JimFlagg New Member

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    That is the best part. To come home from work and to have someone listen to you. To have someone to hear you ideas and to either agree or disagree. You can learn and grow so much from having some there just to listen.

    Just my personal opinion. Other people may find other aspects of love more important. You must find this for your self and write about it. And...you do not need to use a romance novel to do this. You could simply write a story about a mother and child or whatever. Always write about what you know.
     
  5. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    True that having someone who will listen is wonderful. How many people now are married or living together and hardly even speak? Come home, get on the computer/watch tv/read a book, eat dinner while doing the same, go to bed? Their coworkers know more about them than their partners do. Sad. (and totally off-topic... sorry!)

    Back to the topic, while I do agree that love means something different to everyone (like in what I said before cause a lot of women wouldn't have stayed long enough to marry my grandfather, lol) I don't agree that you have to write what you know. We all have felt some form of love. Even if by some chance we haven't we DO at least know what love would mean for us. You know what you WANT in a relationship, you know what you're looking for, what you're missing even if you don't have it. (And even if often once you have it you realize it's really not what you wanted at all :p). I think you can write about that. I don't follow the "Write what you know" adage. How limiting and depressing that would be. What then would be the use of this boundless imagination I have right here at my disposal?
     
  6. JimFlagg

    JimFlagg New Member

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    True; you can write about any thing you want regardless of experience. I am just saying it is harder to write about something you have not experienced first person. I would find it hard to write about a soldier who is experiencing shell shock because I my self have never gone through it. Does not mean I can't, it just means I would have to interview some one and even then it would not be my story.

    I am not saying don't do it but you might want to use an experience that you have had your self to tell your story. It ties the writer to the story on a more intimate level and is a lot easier to write.

    It is just my two cents take it with a grain of salt.
     
  7. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    I understand where you're coming from but comparing a soldier experiencing shell shock and love are quite different to me. Like I said everyone knows what they want in a relationship and/or what they're missing in their life so it would be from a personal perspective and it would be their story, wouldn't it?
     
  8. JimFlagg

    JimFlagg New Member

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    True; I have never looked at it from a lack of romance point of view. I agree that this would make a great story. The problem with romance is a lot stuff happens behind closed doors but you could write about what you see in public like dinners and walks and how you would like to experience that once in your life.

    I have never been a person who solves the puzzle from the inside out.
     
  9. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    Also, as a writer, observation is one of my most powerful tools. Sitting on a bench in a park, outside of a store, wherever, haven't you ever just watched all the people walk by? The way an elderly man helps his wife out of a car, a young couple holds hands while she constantly looks at him sideways to see if he's looking at her? The middle-aged couple who barely looks at each other, doesn't seem to interact at all, but when they get to where they're going he holds the door open for her and slides his hand down her back as they walk in. They couple in their thirties who as they step up on the sidewalk a gorgeous girl in her twenties walks out of a store nearby and just as the man turns his head to follow her progress he receives an elbow to the ribs from his woman. He turns, huge grin, kisses her on the cheek and she smiles. No, you don't have to be in it to recognize it.

    EDIT: My apologies for not addressing that you stated you could talk about what you see in public. I think you added that while I was typing. Didn't mean to say the same thing, essentially. I don't see how it's solving a puzzle from the inside out? (I put the edges together first on a jigsaw too :p) but maybe I'm just not understanding what you mean. I'm sorry, I'm trying.
     
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