1. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    How to write this date?

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by rktho, Jun 26, 2019.

    So I'm writing this Star Wars fanfic and it's set in the OT era on a planet called Pasir. There's a student at the Imperial university, Apollon, who's secretly part of a rebel club. He frequents this park where he often sees a Twi'lek, Leela, and her human father, Com. They flirt from a distance but are both too shy to approach each other. An incident involving Apollon and a stormtrooper that spooks Leela and Com into believing Apollon is an Imperial spy. Later, Apollon sees Leela and Com from his window, approaching his apartment building. They pay a visit to his impoverished neighbors, the Tarkays, and promise to bring a charitable donation. When they leave, Apollon overhears the Tarkays planning to hold Com hostage for money; apparently, they recognize Com and Leela from somewhere and want revenge. Apollon calls the police. The next day, Com comes alone; Tarkay ties Com up and sends his wife to fetch Leela from Com's address; however, it turns out Com gave them a fake address, and Tarkay's wife returns empty-handed. Apollon fires his blaster out the window, signaling to the stormtroopers to storm the Tarkays' residence, but then realizes the troopers might arrest Com as well, so he writes a warning, knocks, and leaves it at the door while he gets himself as far away from the scene as possible so Tarkay won't recognize him and the Imperials won't know he tipped them off. The Tarkays get arrested, but Apollon sees Com escape through the window. Later that night, Apollon finds out Com's real address and goes to him, explaining he's not a spy and that he saved him from the Tarkays. Leela comes out and the two introduce themselves, with all the adorkable awkwardness of two teenagers crushing on each other. Apollon asks Leela to meet him at Khojaw's Cantina the next day, and Com gives her permission to go.

    So I thought this scene would be easy. Leela talks about her writing-- her hobby is storytelling, and she likes to write about Jedi knights and floating palaces and princesses and epic adventures. Apollon makes some drawings for her-- that's his hobby. But I've never actually been on the kind of date Apollon and Leela are on, one-on-one, out for a drink. What's more, I feel like I'm just writing them as though they're just friends and their conversation doesn't convey their attraction the same way their first meeting has. I want this scene to be the one where their romance really buds-- up till now, they've only been crushing on one another from a distance. And Leela has to like this guy enough to go behind Com's back, because once Com finds out Apollon is a rebel, he won't let them see each other anymore. He has no love for the Empire, but he doesn't want Leela getting mixed up in any revolutions. This is the Official Couple of the story so I really need to make this scene really count in terms of their romantic development.
     
  2. Some Guy

    Some Guy Manguage Langler Supporter Contributor

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    Are you trying to establish a romance in one date? I'd be happy to see them click on the artist thing first. That could be a key to their continuing expressions to each other (maybe some kind of writing forum or something :D
    If there's to be a relationship, invest us in it. I like the idea of the SW romance thing.
     
  3. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    Yeah. I mean, I've already laid the groundwork for romance. They've been into each other for a while, watching each other, smiling at each other, being too scared to make the first move, for months. But this is their first time actually getting to know each other. So I would think their attraction would start progressing a little faster by comparison. There should be an uptick in romantic chemistry, but everything I try to write comes out feeling platonic.
     
  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    If this is the first date, and they've barely spoken to each other before, I think that platonic is realistic.
     

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