I think you're on the right track, but a question immediately arises. Why does Jason actually care enough that he 'must pursue them across galaxies' when before the murder, all he did was mess around with his powers and evade responsibility? I still maintain you (@doggiedude ) need to emphasize personality more than the overall plot details. "When Jason's father, the Emperor of Rhime, murders Jason's best friend, the young prince knows he will be next unless he can steal a ship and get off the planet. (...or whatever.) Focus on Jason's immediate problems, and you should be okay.