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  1. Monteriggioni

    Monteriggioni Member

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    I can envision my character wearing an outfit

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Monteriggioni, Sep 30, 2017.

    that looks like the one in the picture. The problem is, I don't know how to put it in words. If you witnessing a crime done by someone wearing this outfit, how would you describe it to the police? It's important.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Laurus

    Laurus Disappointed Idealist Contributor

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    How dark is the environment in which the crime is witnessed? Who witnesses it? Is this kind of high-tech getup typical for the society you're writing about? A lot of things factor into how one might describe this.
     
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  3. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    If I saw this guy in passing, assuming he didn't have the bow, I'd probably describe him as wearing a dark hoodie with some techno tchotchkes on it.
     
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  4. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    Incorrectly ;)
     
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  5. izzybot

    izzybot (unspecified) Contributor

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    Come see my new band Techno Tchotchkes live at our debut show in my dad's garage ...

    Anyway, the only concrete thing is the hood, really. All the ornamentation would likely be glazed over unless part of it light up. Also worth noting that that level of detail isn't particularly interesting to a reader - it's cool to look at, but to read about? Eh. Plus, what's the point of it, outside of looking cool? It seems like she might have body armor under the hoodie, so if that's peeking out it'd be worth mentioning, and I think she's got a hip bag and either a quiver or another bag on her back, and it might be a buckle or a battery pack (?) on her left shoulder. I'd boil it down to what's important.

    A woman wearing thick body armor under a black hoodie - hood up to shade her face - and a [material] hip bag to hold her [whatever]. The battery mounted to her left shoulder powered [whatever], and on the same side a quiver was visible on her back.

    But like @Simpson17866 points out, if you're describing her in a shadowy alley or something, she's kinda just going to be a dark shape. Plus, the adrenaline that could easily be involved in witnessing a crime keeps solid memories from forming - quite likely "a woman - I think? - in dark clothes with a hood up" might be all you got.
     
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  6. Monteriggioni

    Monteriggioni Member

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    Forget the accessories. I'm more interested in the material. Would it be fair to describe it as a sort of "carbon-fiber-woven armored outfit", or is that too cumbersome?
     
  7. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    You could, but it's honestly not something another person would notice unless they had experience with such things. Probably the best you'd get from a third party is something like padded, or, plasticey.
     
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  8. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    The issue isn't that it's cumbersome but that it's not remotely apparent.

    "A dark hoodie--not the usual squishy sweatshirt knit. It looked, I don't know, sort of smoother. And there were thingies on it that reminded me of those old Intel Inside commercials. You don't remember those? Well, you're pretty young."
     
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  9. izzybot

    izzybot (unspecified) Contributor

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    The specific thing you were after would've been useful to know in the first place.

    Depends on the setting. Is this kind of material commonplace? Is there a colloquial name you could use? Compare it to how we talk about modern day real life materials - we're just going to say "a cotton hoodie" etc, so in a setting where this is common, you'd probably say "carbon-fiber armor" or something like that. On the other side of things, if it's not common, someone who isn't in the know might be prone to calling it "some kinda Kevlar-lookin' shit, or something".
     
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  10. mashers

    mashers Contributor Contributor Community Volunteer

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    What do all those things on the hoodie actually do? Referring to their purpose might be a more effective way of describing it.
     
  11. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    Makes me think of Marty in Back to the Future II, mixed with
    the assassin from Assassins Creed.

    Or a person in a Cyberpunk hoodie.
    I mean what is with all the stuff going on with their clothes?
    Some busy looking padded jacket thing?
    Try to make them look more subtle in story, cause that getup
    would stand out along with a bow.

    Or go balls deep into their outfit. :p

    Sci-Fi Assassin 1.jpg Sci-fi Fantasy Warrior.jpg
     

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