Like I said above. I literally don't know what I'm doing anymore with this thing. I'm not too fussed about the time that it takes to write (if it takes 20 years, it takes 20 damn years), but at the same time, I know deep down that taking a break this time won't actually help. It all started when I got to Chapter 5. The plan I had was pretty good (a few tweaks along the way, but nothing major) and then BOOM, suddenly chapters 5, 6, and 7 look untidy as hell: points that become weary and repeated, scenes and remarks that now look redundant, etc. Tried to tighten it up before continuing but now whole plotlines in Book 1 have gone to ****. I'm stressed as hell just thinking about it. And then boom, I have this idea for dialogue (which actually did need to be fixed), so I took the opportunity of a break to go through Chapters 1-4 again and sort that out. It's perfect now. But now the rest of what I've written doesn't really fit too smoothly either with this new dialogue and AHHHHH (don't worry, I kept a copy of the original dialogue). It's like old-and-modern mixed into one and it clunks like an orange piano. Hideous. Started looking at Chapter 5 tonight, and it's an honest-to-god mess now. There's stuff I want to write, but it's more than half the bloody book away *screeching noises*. This book is so damn looooonggggg. I'm bored and yet I can't bear to let it go. But I don't even know how I want to write it anymore. Old style? Modern? What if I change my mind again? Half this book is in bloody soliloquies - stuff that gets actually really good feedback etc. whenever I've shown it to people, but right now in the mood I'm in, I'm like 'this character is just whining for three pages, no one cares'. Anyway, I think this is more of a request, really. What should I do? Maybe I should take a good look at my plan, save a new copy, and just cut every scene I don't care about? Before all this, I kind of /felt/ the theme/central idea of the story as I went? Right now that feeling is gone. Lost. Not forever, but I can't really hang around till it comes back to me. So I've tried to put it into words instead. But even if I spell out the theme, it sounds boring as hell. All I feel is 'really? 'love conquers all'? who cares. look, who even writes this stuff anyway??' So I don't even know where this thing is going anymore. It might be that I'm a tad emotionally burnt out -- horrible stuff in the news, stressful stuff at home, and all my usual coping mechanisms are all shut due to Covid. But I can't really stop on this book either?? My gut instinct is that even ten months of a break would not fix this, and I feel like I need to face it head on and just deal with the crap. Do you guys have any suggestions?
I had a similar issue with the novel I finished about a month and a half ago. I was at chapter 7 out of 12, where the storylines need to, one by one, start to converge (into the epic finale which never fails to disappoint). But then something went wrong. It didn't make sense! The character motivations were all out of wack! Continuity and family compositions! Not something I can fix with a little foreshadowing and other cheap tricks, nooooo! So I started to take a step back. Can I fix it if I rewrite all of chapter 7? no. How about if I start afresh at the end of chapter 5? No... Rewrite 5, too? Well, maybe not all of 5. Maybe I can salvage the first half. And so everything after that point went into the "no longer canon" folder... A month, maybe two, of work gone... But hey, better than having to rewrite the whole thing when I'm already done! I recycled some of the scenes. A lot turned out to be salvageable. After all, there's a few gems in there. You work through it. It hurts, but so does throwing up after a few too many pints of straight vodka. Afterwards, however, you feel all better. So that's what I recommend. Drink a few pints of vodka. Just walk it back, one step at a time, and do it again. Unfortunately there are no shortcuts. Are you going to deliver an inferior product? Is that what you want your legacy to be? Or are you going to put in the elbow grease and be bold and brave and cut what needs cutting? Who cares if the theme is cheesy? Make it the best damn cheese in the world. Cheese is fucking fantastic. If it takes 20 years, it takes 20 years, right? Good luck!
Dude, I think I love you. Yes! The fact is, it's too big of a problem to just 'tidy up' with a few strings here and there. Sometimes I wish I'd come up with a simple story. Everyone else seems to be able to do it. Like, A goes to B, C happens. D is the reaction. Three simple acts, and the stars and planets align in holy matrimony. The End. Mine always turns into nigh on 24-main-and-supporting-characters-who-all-have-a-plot-line-to-follow-oh-and-several-decades-pass-in-this-story-while-we're-at-it-and-people-die-and-move-away-and-on-and-on-it-goes. I'm dying here. My only saving grace is that it's not about ego at all, the whole mess of a storyline just plops into my head completely whole, like an unwelcome turd. But I can't even change it -- the story has to be like that, or it all falls apart?? It's not the only thing in my life like that. I can't even pick one career choice either. I'm a hot damn mess but usually, usually, it's worth it.
Strange as it may seem, no! I'm bang in the middle of actually writing. I thought I'd avoided the wall this time. Pah!
My stories seem to go the same way actually. Does it really work this way for some people? I guess some stories have come together pretty smoothly for me, but not recently.
Well, I certainly believe that it can look like that after the work is completed. You know, when the author is done editing, hired an editor and an electrician to fix the wiring, and a janitor to clean up after everyone... But if someone tells you that's how it's supposed to go then they're either lying or God. And I'm an atheist. Besides, what kind of writer are you if you come out sane on the other end, anyway? Where's the fun in that? Well then, looks like you have a Gordian Turd to unravel, Alexander!
That's the pain of the idea becoming real. I suggest welcoming the imperfections and inconsistencies and steam-rolling to the end. It's perfectly fine to write out of order as well; unload what you have now if it means clearing the palate. Just make sure it gets finished.
Update! So I decided to take a long hard look at the plan and I just started cutting every scene that didn't fill me with excitement for actually writing it (as in, the plot in these scenes still actually happens, yes, but I just have no drive to write them). Turns out it was most of the rest of the plan. The most interesting part was what had been left behind -- the stuff I actually did want to write into a full scene. I've been dying to write about a character who comes up halfway through Book 1 and stays into Book 2, and part of the problem has been that it's taken so long to get to writing this guy, who I'm really obsessed about writing. So I'm thinking that actually I want the story to involve him more. Maybe he becomes the main character, idk. Maybe the original main characters are the same, but the book is about their experiences with this guy - almost as though they are the observers (like a Dr. Watson describing Sherlock Holmes, who is the main character, kind of thing -- obviously in a completely different scenario and for a completely different purpose). So it's actually filled me with a lot of hope tbh. Perhaps I should look at what I've already written as backstory rather than what's going to be in the actual novel. You see, they fought in a war together but I've been feeling for a while now that I really don't want to talk about the war or war in general (partially because everything right now is kind of bleak and I don't want to add to it, and partly because I feel this expectation to make some grand statement on whether war is good or bad, which is already well, well, well trodden ground). But the good thing is that I already needed to know exactly what it was like, what happened, how they met, their dynamic, which I've now got completely. At least it was only 5 chapters written, right? So now the theme/idea/tagline/story is pretty clear if I just stick to this one guy and the people that surround him. And it's a fundamental enough story (based on the motivations of the main character alone) that I feel as strongly about this (maybe even stronger) as the original idea. Maybe I should still write it in the same way (third person, past tense -- but it's all about what you see and hear about this guy that makes him who he is). I don't necessarily need to include this background 'how did they get into a war situation in the first place' stuff that I've done so far (which will now be useful as hell). But it's going to be great if they're ever talking about the past or memories or shared experiences -- because I've already gone through it with them, so there won't need to be any clunky exposition (you know, that 'hey, sis, remember when mom died when i was 6?' kind of thing). This is definitely the right way to go, I think -- it felt actually freeing to delete so many scenes. It was like getting rid of an angsty boyfriend once and for all. The plot that I had originally is still the plot but I don't have to write a damn word. I just need to jump forward in the story. Ugh. Amazing. Thanks so much for all of your help, I really appreciate it!
I was having similar problems - was feeling blocked, burnt out etc, stressed out and depressed over everything that's happened this past year. My WIP was definitely on the back burner. This is actually the first time I've been on this forum in a few years. But I've started writing again, and yesterday I really thought about an issue with a character that's been bothering me. I thought I'd have to kill one of my darlings. Well, I figured out that I don't actually have to kill the darling, just give it to a different character. Yay! And then suddenly a lot a things made a lot more sense - for both characters. I'm glad things are looking better for your book too!
Wow. Someone else does know my pain! Or at least the nightmare. I have an MC writing his 'memoir' as a kind of therapy. He relives 'babyhood', high school, girl-phobia(?), girlfriends/sex/life, then finally gets comfortable with the world (or his place in it). ATP, his first GF is kidnapped by her psycho father to parts unknown, then GF2 and her sister (who are my fav characters) get killed after he sent them on a 'girls trip' to Europe. He is shattered of course, and all that keeps him from falling apart is GF3, and he has to send her to dance in NYC because of a promise they all made to each other. Everyone who leaves never comes back. He, of course, goes on a tear of bad decisions that brings him to the little notepad he is now writing on. They were so happy together, and I torture him, and them. I learned how to kill my darlings, I guess. That's the first third of this story. Fine, except that it's now 30++ chapters, scattered over 450+ pages! For writing a tale of romance and intimacy, I am a cruel bastard. I managed to write the kidnapping, but stalled on the 'after', and I know I have to kill off the next two, but I haven't managed more than a few notes. I know how he comes back, and the HEA, but this part I'm on now is scaring me shitless. It's not writers' block, more like writers' paralysis deer in the headlights. I can't give it up because it's my therapy, too. I've only written a few pages in 2 years. Like my MC, I'm fucked. I won't give up, but Gohd dayaam.
I think nearly everyone who writes seriously has gone through this because they are the people who tend to write no matter what else is happening around them. But there needs to be limits because you can get burn out from anything in life. If you're not working to a plan that will help you keep on track maybe it's time to create one. If you are but wandered off from it, either go back and get back on point or write a note to yourself that certain chapters need revising later and carry on from that. I've always found revising while writing is the worst thing I can do. Limit your time on this (while it's difficult) each day. Don't spend hours stressing over it. Sit and do some and if he doesn't work out go and do a task you know you can achieve. It helps you feel better. Then return to it if you feel the need. But don't let it swallow your entire day. Outdoor exercise always helps me.
