I HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM, & I NEED ADVICE BADLY!

So guys... I'm 35, and been writing pretty much my entire life.

Short stories... poems... song lyrics... you name it... and there is something that's
been plaguing me for quite a while now, something that isn't necessarily hindering
my creative process, my writing, or anything like that.... but something that is
definitely very disheartening to me... and that something is ---

My mother's COMPLETE disregard when it comes to my writing/creative aspirations.

Can you believe it? It's almost as if she'd rather have me do anything but write at times
even though she is aware that I have talent. That's how bad it truly is!

She shows no support whatsoever. I always try to talk to her about my story ideas,
as well as the current screenplay that I'm working on, etc... and she just continues to
try to find a way out of it. I don't know if it's her age, she's only 63, or if it's just as
simple as her absolute disinterest in the craft since she has never done it in her own life.
Know what I mean? Like how can somebody who is not an artist themselves, in any
shape or form, like her, understand the artistic mentality?

My older sister is also very talented. She paints, draws, sews...
but Mom honestly was never born with or ever developed a worthy talent.
And not liking to read is another thing, which I feel she also doesn't like doing,
but that's no excuse. I'm her son after all.

Sometimes, I feel she literally thinks that I'm crazy, or just, dreaming. Now,
although many of us ARE dreaming, again, that is no excuse. I tell her how ambitious
and original I feel my script is (and that is just 2 of 3 words that I use when describing
it. There is 1 more but I won't spoil that now), and she can't even ask me a question
about my material.

Overall though, it is just very disheartening how she responds to me and my hobby,
something I've been doing since I was 10 years old. And we are really close too, which
is the weird thing. She also never wants to read anything that I write, even if it's a mere page!
It's so hard to get her to do it. "Oh, I'm watching something now", or some stupid excuse.
It's ridiculous how disheartening she is!

I just told her today that she is not going to read my screenplay when I finish it.
Nope. Everybody else is going to read it and go on one phenomenal ride from start to finish,
friends... family... but she? She will be out of the equation, at least for now.

I love writing guys. At times it's hard, but it's the one thing that I've always been most into
and feel now... I was born to do. I have nothing currently published aside from winning
a few art contests some years back (I draw too!) But mainly, I worked at a restaurant for
many years and during that time span I was writing off and on, but not nearly enough.
Now, I write everyday. Full time baby! Every. Damn. Morning.

Coffee. Keyboard. Screen.

I have multiple scripts in the works, and even a novella that is sitting in my computer
that I plan of finishing. I have a thread up with a few excerpts from that novella if
anybody is interested. It's titled: Can U Decipher My Story?

So... that's all, any advice is appreciated. Please... ask questions, and leave feedback if
you can.


[link redacted] - wreybies

 

A little tip for starters. Putting your title in caps won't help your threads get special attention - quite the opposite, in fact.

Secondly, what do you want us to say, exactly? You can't force someone to show an interest in your hobby / profession. Forget about trying to please your mum and get her assurances and encouragement. Just get on with your writing and when you get your first best seller published your dedication can be:

I dedicate this book to my mum, who never believed in me or showed any interest in my writing.

 

Sorry about the caps, but yeah, if anything I will dedicate it to my father, who was also an artist, well a photographer
and who passed away many years ago,when I was 19! That is probably the plan.

 

I second what @OurJud said. Good Luck and all the best.

 

You're thirty-five. Who the hell cares what your mom thinks of your hobby?

I mean, that's a little strong. Sure, it would be nice if she were more interested, but... you're thirty-five. Your mom not being interested in your writing should NOT be a "huge problem" for you.

Do you have other people who you can talk about writing with?

 

I understand what you're saying, but even though I'm 35, this is something that's been going
on forever really. Not just now, but even when writing as a teen and so on.
And most other people I know are also not overly interested either.
Even my sister just... doesn't get it.
I'm alone in this really, have been for a long time.

I may of exaggerated some in the thread title, it ain't a HUGE problem,
life-altering dilemma or anything, but just a weird situation because I
view my Mom, even at 35, as my best friend. May be corny but whatever.
I guess she could just careless and she has cared less for 20 odd years.
That's alright though. I'll prove her wrongsoon enough!

 

My two cents: To be honest, first of all, if my grown son didn't support himself (unless he was too disabled to work, but you didn't mention that) but wanted me to support him (emotionally or financially) while he followed his personal interests instead, he'd be quite unpleasantly surprised.

Aside from that, my grown kids and I have some interests we share and other interests that we don't share. I am very, very happy that they all have productive things they enjoy, are good at, etc. That doesn't mean I want to participate or hear each detail about their interests. My eyes would glaze over if one of them insisted on telling me every step of how they worked on a car etc. As much as I love them, that would bore me to tears. They interest me but all of their interests do NOT interest me.

I also don't demand much attention about my own interests that I know they don't share. But I know they love me. We find things to talk about that we have in common instead. Since you are grown, it does become more a friendship than a parent/child relationship. Which means it should go the same both ways. I'm sure you could put yourself in your mother's shoes if you thought about some things she enjoys that you don't care about. For example, say she sews. How would you like a blow-by-blow description of how she makes each garment, from choice of fabric purchase to pattern purchase to each step in the directions and so on? What would you think if she got mad or hurt when you weren't eager to hear more?

I don't think this is a huge problem, in other words. I suggest leaving your mother alone about it. No one person can fulfill all of our needs and this is simply one for someone besides her to fill instead. Find other writers (like on here) to discuss writing with and show your writing to. Most non-writers really don't want to read your writing or hear too much about it. It's okay.

 

As an aspiring screenwriter, I actually would be very interested in some of that!
Maybe one day I'll develop a character that sews.

No for real,I listen and if she comes to me with something of her interests like wanting to show
me some pictures on her phone that she took which she did the other day, than I will sit,
listen, and look if the time is appropriate and I ain't busy.

Our life circumstances were altered a while back (I'd rather not discuss) as it does play
into all of this in a way, but regardless, I'm just going to let it go and move on and
try to get placed in a screenwriting contest or something and just go from there.
Finish a novella, finish other scripts, and just work my tail off until I can prove her and everybody wrong.
That is the plan.

 

I don't see anything to "prove everybody wrong" about, tbh. If they're not interested in writing, they're just not, end of story. They still won't be interested in writing if you get published, make a million dollars, don't get published, keep writing, stop writing, etc. Bu not sharing an interest you have doesn't necessarily mean they aren't interested in you or don't want you to succeed.

 

My aunt is a published author but I don't think she has ever read a screenplay.
I'm thinking about showing her both my screenplayand possibly novel when they're done.

 

I'm a published author and tbh, I usually hate it when people want me to read their unpublished work. It's not a treat for me. It's an imposition that I don't want. At least please ask your aunt - or anybody- if they want to read your work before sending it to them.

I think the family (or close friends) thing is something most of us go through, then learn better. Who wants to talk about writing with you or read your writing? Probably not your family or friends. Probably people on writing forums. Good luck to you.

 

Join the club. There's not a single soul outside this forum I discuss my writing with, because none of them have the slightest interest.

 

Right. That is just how it is.
But the only way I will ever get anyone to believe is if theyjust read my script when it's done which it will be soon. Like,
from start to finish in one sitting. I'm convinced that is if anybody does that than they will believe.
That's how good I feel it is. That is where my confidence lies right now.
I made a short when I was sixteen years old w/ a group of buddies of mine
and that was the initial spark that resulted in my current script so the story itself has
literally been evolving over a period of 20years.
I'm just now putting it in script form.

 

Everyone usually thinks their writing is great and are totally obsessed with what they're writing etc.

The thing is, that does not mean other people do, will or should feel the same about it at all. They may well not think it's great or not be interested in that genre even if it is great. They may not want to spend several hours reading it.

It's like how my baby is the most amazing miracle ever to me but you might just think it looks like a monkey. It's exactly like that.

 

I don't think my writing is great, I know my writing is great! Lol. But not just the writing itself,
this kind of confidence I'm boasting applies to this particular script that I keep going back to.
It's a movie on every page. That's how the draft reads and feels right now.
I've never felt anything like it.

And I think obsessed is the wrong word. I'm not by any means obsessed with
what I'm developing, I'm just absorbed in it.

 

As @Carly Berg says, not necessarily. If your writing is that good, why do you need your mum and other family members to say so? Just get it out there, and if it's as good as you reckon, it will get picked up.

 

Unless you can afford the PR like those stupid Marvel movies.

 

I want her to go on the journey from page 1 to page 112.

 

Okay.

I wish you good luck with your endeavours.

 

Thanks. If nothing happens I will possibly post it on here in the
near future, but I hope I don't get that chance

 

@james82

Don't let anyone kill your spirit. We will try, because a lot of what you're saying sounds outrageous, and to many of us with similar aspirations, offensive, but be strong and don't ever give up.

 

I can't see how any of what I typed on here would seem offensive to other writers
as all I'm doing is simply and openly exerting strong confidence as a writer and in my material,
as any writer should, but okay, I'll take your word for it.
And yes, it may seem outrageous because I haven't discussed other circumstances about
me, my craft, my family, etc... but it is what it is.

 

...

 

Actually, I think that a writer, especially an unpublished writer, should have some humility. Your rather over-the-top praise of your own work sounds like something that could keep you from developing as a writer.