When I try to write I get stuck and I can't think because either I want to write a rhythmic sentence or a long sentence that follows the rules of clarity and I can't come up with a single thought that is fully formed to put into a sentence. I just sit there for ten minutes trying to think of a topic. I cannot even figure out a basic idea to start writing about. When I do think of something to write about, the thoughts are too simpleminded or scarce. People and books have often advised me to just write out whatever is in my head and revise afterwards but for some reason I have a hard time with that. I worry that if I do that all my sentences will be simple and I won't be able to make anything decent out of them. I know you can combine sentences to make them longer and more complex but I feel like I might make my thoughts so disjointed or distinct that they can't be combined. If I use the word "but" I am stuck because using the word "but" twice in a sentence is stupid, and often when you use that word you have to break your sentences apart. If you use "although" then you cannot put emphasis on the proposition that would normally come after "but". I am not saying I want to predetermine the length of my sentences but I want to make sure that some of my sentences come out long. And I feel that a writer should have the ability to control the length of his sentences. I cannot just combine sentence in any fashion that I please because emphasis must be place on the right propositions and the relationships between them must be clear. But I want to be able to write a short and long sentences at my own discretion. I'm not saying I want to write extremely long, unclear, bombastic sentences or that I want to write only long sentences. But I want to have the ability to control the length of my sentences. I don't feel like it is easy for me to write a long sentence from scratch and make sense. That is why I try to write short sentences and then combine them to make a long sentence. But I feel like certain long sentences cannot be broken up into short ones, so how do I know I will ever write the short ones that can be combined into the long ones. The main problem I am having is that I just cannot think and write out a first draft. I don't want to do free writing because that produces a bunch of unrelated thoughts, and I cannot keep on writing without stopping. I don't want to write on the page that I cannot think. I don't even know how to write a rough draft because I have never written one in my life. I always edited as I went along and for a while that worked for me but that does not help me to write rhythmically and clear and that does not help me to write long sentences. I always have dumb questions and doubts in my mind about rough drafts, not knowing if I include information I won't use later on, or I can leave something out, not knowing if I can make an unorganized or unstructured draft that can be structured later on. Please help me to figure out how to write because I want to write well and I cannot write well if I cannot think. That seems to be on of the big problems. I cannot seem to think properly. My mind feels nearly empty a lot of the time like I have no average intelligence. I don't know anything about the world. I don't know how to describe a flower and I don't know how people interact with one another. I want to write though, and not just stories, but things for which I can employ rhetoric. I want to be able to write different kinds of things.