I have sinned because I am a bully Still am. Rip me Bully is something that I have to consider very carefully. I have a lot of friends and usually am introverted, but there are some people that I just am cruel to. I usually intend it to be a joke, but I know I sometimes come off as rude or insulting. I guess it is my nature, but often there would be that guy that does not appreciate my jokes, and state it openly. Then, I will pick on them a lot. Meaning no harm, but causing it in the end. The definition of the my ArQane persona. I am not a nice person, and I realized that. Hopefully, I am nice enough to the majority to repay the emotional damage I caused to certain individuals. Even though everyone can be a bully at times, this is my fullhearted confession. ArQ.
When I was young, as in kindergarten and first grade, there was a blind classmate in my class and I would stare at his eyes because they looked different. I knew he was blind, but I was curious as to how eyes could just...look different. Course, I know better now and look back with irritation at my childhood ignorance. Gah! What an idiot I was! (My blind colonial detective suddenly comes up at me) "Please don't let this alter your mind about writing my adventures." Amos, what- (He knees me squarely between my legs) (I collapse in agony) "You had it coming a long time. Now get up and write."
An ongoing sin: not working on my current project so far this month. I have been playing Bejeweled Blitz to death even though I actually hate the game instead. What sin am I committing right now: Gluttony. Sloth. I'm just consuming Original Gourmet endlessly, mini-lolli after mini-lolli. Instead of working, though I am trying to remedy it right now. If I can stop thinking about how much I want to sleep first.
Resurrectin'! Mine's mostly not being productive enough. And certain self indulgences. Also getting distracted by pointless videos about civil rights stuff to a point that's a little pathetic. Like, really, what are you even doing Oscar?
I waste a lot of time online, not on sites like these that serve a purpose, but Googling negative shit out of morbid curiosity and a hunger for chaos. Stuff like reading about people's dramas on Yahoo Answers and reading about random family fueds in forums. It has no relevance to my life and doesn't make me happy, but sometimes it's a compulsion, sort of like a non-physical equivalent of when people cut themselves. I don't condemn "time wasting" on sites that make a person happy, like watching funny Youtube videos or going on forums for your interests, but in my case it's a destructive habit when i'm focusing on things online that make me angry. I care way too much about what others might think of me and how I might be judged. (ENFJ on the MBTI) I try to be vegetarian, but end up breaking this a lot. I don't buy meat at the grocery store, but if I'm at an event where the only food around has meat, then I'll eat it.
Ok- here's the dealio! I let my inner bitch and claws out on my older sister. I know that I should have been the bigger person and maybe I should have opted for honesty instead of bluntness, but she wanted to know what I really thought and she got it... The part where I regret is maybe I should have really let loose some of my more colorful language fly!
Aaah, I hope this doesn't sound too racist... Back in college, I went to a class that discussed American slavery and racism and the teacher gave us a bonus assignment to bring to her examples of racism in media. I wanted to print out a picture of Mr. Popo from Dragonball Z and tell her that this was from an American-made TV show and Mr. Popo was the servant of a godlike being just to see her reaction. >:] I didn't, of course but...looking back I wonder if I missed out on an opportunity to pull a prank. Or was that going to end in disaster?
