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  1. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    I kill people for a living

    Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Desertphile, Nov 25, 2016.

    Well okay, I do not kill people for a living. I kill people, yes, but very few people pay me to do so. Damn them. In fact I am vegetarian, and I hate to see my victims go to waste, but I can't seem to stop doing it. Being vegetarian, I mean.

    For making a living I live and work on a remote, isolated cattle ranch in the Northern New Mexico region--- tucked up in among the canyon lands of the USA Southwest. Edward Abbey country. Unabomber country. It's much harder work being a cowboy than killing people, and the pay is just as poor, but at least I have clean air to breathe.
     
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  2. Patsy

    Patsy Member

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    Hi!

    I hardly ever kill people... unless they annoy me.
     
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  3. Denegroth

    Denegroth Banned

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    New Mexico is the only place where I had to pull my car over and stand there and look at it. I'd never seen such a landscape before or since. Not a tree in sight, but the colors were mesmerizing. A poet friend of mine, reservation dweller, called it The Land of Entrapment. She has a wicked sense of humor. Good to see you. (I've worked white-faced Hereford in Kentucky.)
     
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  4. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Hi there!
    Wow, you're a cowboy? That sounds really cool. It must be hard work, and I can only imagine what it's like to live and work in the middle of nowhere. You must have lots of interesting stories to tell. I'd love to own a couple of horses one day and just live on a small farm. Some day. :)

    Here's our New Member Quick Start to get you started. See you around!

    -Kat
     
  5. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    You live on an isolated remote cattle ranch and kill people for a living, or at least you hope to...

    I'm never visiting you, not even if you pay me :brb:
     
  6. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    I am also a movie star. :) The movie THE LURE opened in New York two weeks ago, and apparently the movie reviewers like the film. Inexplicably there are now scores of women following me around, when all I really want is just a pizza or two now and then.

    Here is an image of me and where I live:

    https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55030e48e4b0bbacbafe1ba2/578f6c5fcd0f68cb49b939e5/578f6c70cd0f68cb49b93a2c/1469017206831/TheLure1.png

    No sane human being wants to be a cowboy; it's just 10,000+ times better than the office job I had.

    As for stories I tell, my book has the final Advance Reader Copies mailed out and I am awaiting reviews. One reviewer (who has had 17 books on the New York Times best-seller list) wrote "It’s a cynical, outrageous, politically incorrect, foul-mouthed and absolutely hilarious modern-day Walden." That still makes me blush.
     
  7. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    Alas, I'm utterly harmless. In fact I carry insects and arachnids outside and carefully place them on brush when I find them inside the cabin or outhouse. Or at least that's what I tell the sheriff. The writer and educator David Morrell has killed many hundreds of people and he just sat there in his chair typing.
     
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  8. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    What's the temperature like out there in the wilderness? Are you wearing furs or skipping about in the rabbit-skin thong?

    Also, can you give a run-down of your daily schedule, your chores as a wrangler. When do you feed the cows, and what are your skills when it comes to molegrips and such. I'm in the farming industry myself, tho' general tendency is toward the wearing of a red nose, those big shoes, that funny little car under canvas...

    I digress...

    Are you hand-feeding on Christmas day, or aboard the yacht, you phony :) ?
    ..

    Fine and manly photograph btw, although I am more manly,

    Butch.
     
  9. Mumble Bee

    Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

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    I kill people who kill people, because killing people is wrong.
     
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  10. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    People though can be cruel to each other but exceedingly kind to animals. This proves nothing. NOTHING I say!!

    I don't actually know who David Morrell is...
     
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  11. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    You know that's the fictional character Richard Rahl's argument right? Murder is wrong, but when Richard does it, it isn't murder. It's getting rid of evil. And anyone who goes against him goes against reason, which means they must be killed, because to go against reason is evil. RICHARD IS REASON. Bow to Richard!

    I can't believe his name is Richard hehehehe :D
     
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  12. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    Heh! Ever hear of Rambo? First Blood? David Morrell created Rambo; Morrell is a nice person, mostly harmless, with a mild manner who dices and slices people in his novels.
     
  13. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    Murder of course is always wrong, morally, ethically, and illegally. That is why the government loves to redefine what "murder" is so that the government can engage in murder. With writer's it's totally different: writers are *SUPPOSED* to kill people. Damn hard to be a successful writer and not kill, maim, dice, slice, cook, and eat ones fellow human beings. Readers *LOVE* murder. Shit, readers love being murdered personally---- many writers have held contests within which the winner's name is used as a murder victim for the fun of it.
     
  14. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Somehow you're now reminding me of Stephen King... And yes, I've heard of Rambo but I always thought that was a film. First Blood I'm not sure - there're so many vampire series out these days that I'm sure one of them is called First Blood??

    :nosleep:

    Anyway, I dunno, I don't like to kill my characters. I don't think I've killed a single one yet! But then again I'm not the kind who likes to put her characters through the grinder :superthink:
     
  15. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    violence must be eradicated - kill all the violent people you know
     
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  16. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    Gosh, I very much hope there are no popular vampire stories titled FIRST BLOOD. :)
     
  17. Kinzvlle

    Kinzvlle At the bottom of a pit Contributor

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    That`s actually a pretty popular trope. From Marvels Punisher to the show Dexter where a forensic investigator took to killing serial killers.
     
  18. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    First blood was the second Rambo story - Morrell also wrote the brotherhood of the rose, the fraternity of the stone and various other action adventure type stories.

    I'm not sure what the Op thinks the big deal is about killing people in your stories - the body count in my WIP is probably four figures by now (it's a war story)
     
  19. Desertphile

    Desertphile Member

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    FIRST BLOOD is the first novel with Rambo. RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART TWO is the serialization Morrell did based on the movie.

    As for the dead human count, I assume everyone knows I'm joking.
     
  20. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    yep , but most of us are probably wondering what the big deal is - a fair proportion of us kill people in our stories BFD
     

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