1. DeathandGrim

    DeathandGrim Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    95
    Location:
    Virginia Beach

    I need a character to leave a high position

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by DeathandGrim, Jan 21, 2017.

    Right now I have a plot with a major point that hinges on a key character leaving a high position. The intent is cause a massive shock to the galaxy.

    The scenario: Nera, a representative of the planet Sumera, is the youngest and newest member of the Galactic Super Senate, one part of the Galactic Federation. She enjoys making her queen, Maritho, proud, which she's done already by just being in the Super Senate.

    The story itself actually centers around Maritho and company. Sumera has become condemned by the Galactic Federation, which means the planet has lost protection and funding from the Federation, and Maritho plans to visit the Federation in order to plead her case. As Sumera was condemned under a setup job by the series' main villain, Pylar.

    Pylar wants Nera's seat in the Super Senate. First he arranges his seat in the lower Galactic senate for his sector, by battling and ultimately killing Oshrom, the final candidate, before the election could be held. His next step is to manipulate Nera out of the Super Senate so he can usurp her seat. Doing whatever he can jump the ranks

    Nera's decision to leave the Super Senate shocks everyone especially Maritho and this drives the plot where I want it to go. Nera and Maritho who once had a very loving practically mother-daughter relationship between queen and constituent turns into a bitter and venom filled rivalry overtime. As Pylar gains power in the background.

    My biggest problem is coming up with some reason or strategy Pylar can use to force Nera out of her position. There are a ton of variables in play. I want the reason she leaves to be legitimate and ultimately later on I want her to feel the weight of her decision when Pylar shows his true colors.
     
  2. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin Get off my Balzac... Staff Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    7,703
    Likes Received:
    14,297
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    So, Nera thinks she has to leave for a legitimate reason, only to discover later that she's been had? Hmm, maybe go Lion King on this one. She could think she caused the death of some of her citizens, and then later realize it was Pylar's fault. Like Simba with Mufasa and Scar. On a side note, I would change the name "Galactic Super Senate." Personally, I would stop reading anything that had this term in it, either in the text or dust jacket. It makes me think about Power Rangers or anime with Japanese high school girls. Just my opinion.
     
    Reed R Gale and Dnaiel like this.
  3. Dracon

    Dracon Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2016
    Messages:
    691
    Likes Received:
    939
    Location:
    England
    Perhaps Nera ends up disgraced. She makes a wrong judgment call on something big, or is outmanoeuvred by Pylar in some fashion that leads her to make a very big mistake, that morally she finds her position untenable. The failure could be particularly devastating that it could act as a significant change in pace for the novel. Then afterwards, Perhaps she gave the order to do something she shouldn't have done, or tricked by Pylar into unwittingly abusing her power for what she saw as the greater good.

    After that large turning point, she is forced to resign (or flee or arrested or whatever you fancy) which can lead into some emotional turmoil as well as she tries to overcome her guilt at being ultimately responsible for what happened. As well as other important character interactions - others that might have been inspired by her might now look on her with disgust. And if Pylar was revealed to be behind the scenes of her disgrace after all, that could make their climactic encounter all the more interesting.
     
    Reed R Gale likes this.
  4. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    18,122
    Likes Received:
    21,114
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    May be Nera has actually done something wrong (giving her a weakness or a flaw avoids chances of Mary Sueism) and plylar uncovers or acquires evidence of it to force her out .. like the watergate tapes

    FWIW I agree with homer about the galactic super senate - that title sounds really childish , while just dropping the super would be better just senate also has shades of ancient rome and /or star wars - may be just find a name for the higher house (incidentally Galactic federation is also very startrek)
     
  5. Dnaiel

    Dnaiel Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2016
    Messages:
    504
    Likes Received:
    324
    • A past fact comes to light that disqualifies Nera, but maybe on light, technical grounds. Or serious grounds, if you need.
    • Medical condition orchestrated by Pylar.
    • Unable to uphold a set of laws due to legal maneuvering by Pylar.
    • Revelation that Nera and Maritho are related, disqualifying one or both for nepotism, with one being aware the whole time without telling the other.
    • Nera pledges support to x political character innocently, but it is discovered that x character is in league with Pylar (perhaps Pylar reveals x is a wanted terrorist, or a legitimate politician who claims Nera's support was intended for an unlawful purpose).
     
  6. DeathandGrim

    DeathandGrim Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    95
    Location:
    Virginia Beach
    [off topic] Does Galactic Super Senate really sound that bad? It was originally just chancellors and high chancellors but those don't exactly mean what I want them to. I'll ponder on that then
     
  7. NiallRoach

    NiallRoach Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2015
    Messages:
    694
    Likes Received:
    575
    Location:
    The middle of the UK
    Yes. When I read it I sniggered inwardly, I'm sorry to say.
     
    Reed R Gale likes this.
  8. Spencer1990

    Spencer1990 Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2016
    Messages:
    2,513
    Likes Received:
    3,380
    It sounds a bit corny, if nothing else. I definitely think you could come up with a better name.
     
  9. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    17,656
    Likes Received:
    26,644
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    @DeathandGrim


    For your original inquiry. Well first what is her motivation for choosing to leave?
    Does she feel that she has not acted as well as she could have when representing her planet?
    Perhaps utilize the cunning of Pylar to find a way to orchestrate a mistrust in Nera's abilities
    as a diplomat, that would put her into a position to step down as a representative of her planet.
    Either by finding a misstep on her part that would tarnish her reputation, or fabricate an
    intricate cabal that involves her being in league with the enemy elements.

    As for the oddity of Super Senate, it is a bit comical on the mind.

    Galactic Federation Embassy of Planets
    Galactic Legislation of the Federation
    Federation Adminastratum

    IDK, this one is far trickier to figure out. Though I have faith you will find something more fitting of your universe. :)
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2017
    Reed R Gale and Sack-a-Doo! like this.
  10. Sack-a-Doo!

    Sack-a-Doo! Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2015
    Messages:
    2,419
    Likes Received:
    1,644
    Location:
    [unspecified]
    Um... I think you confused me with @DeathandGrim. :)
     
  11. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    17,656
    Likes Received:
    26,644
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    So it seems I have. :p My apologies.
     
    Sack-a-Doo! likes this.
  12. Sack-a-Doo!

    Sack-a-Doo! Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2015
    Messages:
    2,419
    Likes Received:
    1,644
    Location:
    [unspecified]
    No worries. It's nice to be remembered, even if my mistake. :D
     
    Cave Troll likes this.
  13. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    18,122
    Likes Received:
    21,114
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    As I said above it sounds like the sort of thing a kid would come up with - ages ago I did some writing stuff with my then local primary and the stories were packed full of "hyper speed boats" and "Super cars" and so forth - its also veryu comic book super man, super ted etc

    Two houses of govt isnt a bad idea (Commons and Lords in the Uk, Congress and Senate in the US ) but they need sensible grown up titles
     
  14. Reed R Gale

    Reed R Gale Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2013
    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Home, Probably
    I don't usually like to denounce names of things because I remember how I felt when people snickered at names I picked for characters and the like, but this does seem a bit gaudy. If that's what you want to go for, go for it, but since it seems you want to go for a pretty serious drama, just judging from what you've written... yes I would change the name.

    Personally, I lean toward the solutions that @Homer Potvin and @Dracon suggest which lead Nera to make decisions herself that Pylon orchestrated or "brought to her attention." That seems to be the core of it. Deaths of loved ones are usually pretty useful for this. Or making the people hate her, if that means anything to Nera. This gives a great opportunity later, if Pylon is #1 Big Badâ„¢, for Nera to later find out his hand in making her feel terrible and to give her reason to exact revenge later in the story.

    setting up dank chess pieces yo
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice