Backstory time: A boy wonders into a fantasy world. Gets adopted. Makes friends and neighbours. Accidentally causes a disaster and nearly kills his foster mother. Runs away. And then 20 years later, his wife dying of cancer, he decides to go back to the land of fantasy to get a cure. Problem. I have several plot lines and I have issue with lining them all up. Plotline 1: He goes back to the land of fantasy and his friends sorta punch him. Because he caused a disaster. Now, it was unintentional, it was basically solved, and no one was killed. But it was a major dick move to leave behind his friends and family to worry for him and not call back. Plotline 2: He doesn't tell his wife and family where he got the cure to the cancer. Spontaneous remission, zero covalescence, and its miracle in a bottle. The doctor knows that something's up, because he requested for a cell sample before this. His kids know that something's up, because he's been very distant. His friends know that something's up, because he asked for a shotgun, camping supplies, and disappeared for a week. They think he did drugs, did some shady deal, or hooked up with a hooker. They don't actually know that he's been to the land of fantasy. Plotline 3: He goes back to the land of fantasy, and finds out that it's gone through a renaissance. That tiny shrine? Now a gigantic church with hundreds of followers. That small vampire mansion? Well, its even bigger now. The small human village has been transformed into a bustling, shadowrun-esque city. A great train system runs through portals and cracks in reality, linking entire dimensions together in busy trade. The shock of leaving home for 20 years and then coming back is a thing. Plotline 4: He brings his kids along, because apparently his wife thinks that he's cheating on her, and goes with her mother. Not being mother of the year, she leaves the kids with him. Deciding to bite the bullet, he decides to, at the very least, break the news to his kids. The wife can be dealt with after she cools down. So it's 'off to fantasy land!'. With your children in tow. To meet their father's side of the family (including grandmother, great grandmother, and strange aunts, which includes fairies). My gigantic issue now is putting it all together. Plot 4 is interfered with by plot 3, because well, the shock of finding the way the place has changed is lessened by the fact that he's already been there. I originally planned to start the entire thing with him waking up in the morning, having already given the cure to his wife and now dealing with Plot 2. Because having to go through Plot 3 where he slowly figures out how the entire thing has changed and how he has to adapt to it appears to be something that would be pretty damned boring, because one of the focuses is the MC and his family. My current plan is to have the entire thing leading up to his sudden trip to fantasy land be shown through flashbacks as he interacts with people in his daily life. The doctor, the drinking buddies, and everyone else. Any suggestions?
Okay, so I took some time to think about this. What if, he didnt fully go back the first time. What if the cure was really simple and he only had to duck back through the portal (which could be in a forest or something). So he doesnt see the whole world. There also could be a small time change. 1hour=1week kind of thing. What you dont make clear here is why he goes back to fantasy land. Was there an issue with the cure causing him to have to go back for something else.
That might be reasonable if he just dropped off the grid while his wife was dying: Something like that would seem sorta shady. Though, I think they would all forget about that pretty quickly once he shows up again with a miracle cure that he refuses to explain. I'd be surprised if anyone talked about anything else after that. In fact, I could see him taking his family and hightailing it back to Narnia simply to avoid all the reporters, doctors, religious nuts, ufologists and other people who would be very interested in finding out how the hell he pulled that off. ...What, after he magically cured her terminal cancer? o__O 'Cause I would be like: "So, what, are you secretly an alien? Like, a space alien, from space? Were you an alien this whole time? Are you from some advanced interstellar civilization with medical science far beyond ours? Did you travel back to your home planet so you could swing by the drugstore and pick up some over-the-counter mesothelioma meds? Seriously, I'm really grateful for the whole saving my life thing, I just want to know what I'm dealing with here." So are you trying to make her as unlikable as possible? I guess my first question is: Why do you seem to want to write the wife out of this? She's pretty damn involved, you know, what with being married to the guy, and it should be obvious to her that he's been keeping some sort of major secret from her. Plus, she was the whole reason your protagonist went through all that in the first place. Why not bring her along to the magical world along with the children? If nothing else she's the one who's the be most entitled to know just what sort of treatment she was provided and where it came from. I'm no ethics professor or anything but I'm pretty sure you can't just have a person drink some strange potion and then refuse to tell them what it was, even if it did cure them. Because it's their body, and you did something to it, and it's fair to say they have the right to know what. Look, I'm sure you have your reasons but I don't think this is something we can just ignore. The turn of events you describe makes it seem like you're going out of your way to get rid of her once she's no longer dying, because she was only ever useful to you as a plot device. Especially when the diegetic justification seems kinda nonsensical and forced, at least the way you put it, while at the same time making her out to be a pretty terrible person. Well, I would have assumed that Plot 3 occurs during the first trip when he went to get the cure, before Plot 4. Hence the numbering. Kinda like: His quest to acquire the cure is interfered with by the shock and confusion of seeing how much the place has changed, along with some lingering resentment from people who remember the disaster he caused. Those would be the conflicts he's facing in that part of the story. Wait, I'm really confused now. Which parts are the flashback parts, and during which plotline do they occur?
Guilt. He ran away. And he only went back to get the cure. So now, with his marriage basically falling apart and now since he's quit his job because of the stress, well. He might as well pass the time by introducing his kids to their grandparents. Maybe it'll distract them. As for how short is the first trip... I think just a short, 1 week trip? Or half a week. Enough for a few encounters with his old friends before he leaves. But yes, I think that's a pretty good idea. Makes sense. My original conception of this main character was as a loser who's marriage was basically falling apart. Which is also why his wife left him. Didn't quite think of the concept of his wife asking him where the heck he got the miracle cure from. Let's rewrite that part. Wife left him because their marriage fell apart and the spark died. Dead end job as an accountant. Two kids who are now taking money from him because fuck, raising kids is expensive. One of the kids... I dunno, got cancer or got a MRSA infection. Had a few months to live. Until he decided to confront his old demons and just.. go back there. The mother is now a tertiary character, mentioned only in passing.
