My lover asked to read my novel, and I said no. I've never said no to reading my stuff before. I kind of reached a mini milestone in my progress with this story, but I don't want to celebrate this one with my lover. I worry it could be harder to continue if I get too much input before I finish. Have you ever said no? Am I just being silly?
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to share a project with someone until it's done. Or not wanting to share it with them at all. It's your project - you can do whatever you want with it, share it with whoever you want, change your mind whenever you want. It's yours.
It's like Stephen King said in On Writing, "Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right — as right as you can, anyway — it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it." You don't have to let anyone read anything you write until you feel comfortable with the idea of them reading it.
Of course I've said no. Unless my piece was written specifically for a writing course, I always say no. Nobody - nobody at all - gets to see my work until I'm good and ready to release it. I would never release my work unless I think it's finished. Complete. Revised and rewritten and edited to within a millimeter of its life. Nary a SPaG error to be found. Not one word out of place. Nothing further to add, nothing to delete. (Wait - that's not strictly true. I can always find things to add.) Decades ago, I made the mistake of letting my mom read some of my stuff while it was in progress. She said she liked it. I found that paralyzing - I don't think I managed to write another word for about a year. NOBODY SEES MY WORK UNTIL IT'S DONE!
What if I gave you some extra special NH mountain nuts and let you ride out the winter in my attic? Deez nuts are super exclusive and can't be found anywhere except at the alpine tree line.... squirrels have been known to migrate down from Canada to get their paws (claws?) on these. (these being deez) (deez nuts)
I wrote in the happiness thread 10 days ago. ... We have been married for almost 39 years, but this writing is mine, mine alone. ... Of course if she insisted I would give in, (I mean, we have been married for almost 39 years) but my feeling is still, mine, mine only.
unless your lover is also a writer (in which case its no different to any other alpha reader) this is a bad idea
You are my new hero. There was a recent discussion about when to release to betas, and I felt exactly the same way. It does make it harder to accept critique, but... a beta found a spelling error in my work once. I think Shakespeare summed up my feelings then: “Oh, that this too, too sullied flesh would melt, Thaw, and resolve itself into a dew, Or that the Everlasting had not fixed His canon 'gainst self-slaughter!”
