I run a play by post dnd role playing game which means I write most everyday. I love writing and have a great imagination but the thing that frustrates me continually is my lack of grammar sense. It drives me round the bend at times. I write, without thinking too much about grammar, to get the general idea on the page and then I go back for a second pass with the view to tidy up my prose, to make it flow, to make it clear but instead I seem to go round and round writing and re-writing sentences, moving them here and there adding word in and taking words out because i just don't know what is right. For example (and the reason that brought me here) I wrote this: (A svartalfar is a black elf from Norse mythology). The Svartalfar began to reel itself in. It's jaws flexed and it's throat pulsed as it began to draw close to the great wolf. then I went back and fiddle about with it and came up with this The Svartalfar's whip like tendrils tightened and it began to pull itself towards the great wolf with it's jaws flexing and it's throat pulsing. then I wasn't sure the "with it's jaws flexing and it's throat pulsing" didn't sound like the wolfs jaws and throat and not the elf's jaws and throat so I separated the two and got this. The Svartalfar's whip like tendrils tightened and it began to pull itself towards the great wolf. On and on it came with it's jaws flexing and it's throat pulsing. Then I questions whether 'and it began to pull...' should be 'as it began to pull' so I tried both and couldn't decided if one was better than the other or whether one was correct over the other so I left it as 'and'. Then I looked at 'On and on it came with it's jaws flexing and it's throat pulsing.' and wondered if I needed the connectives or whether just commas would do like this 'On and on it came, jaws flexing, throat pulsing' I know if I continue to look at it I will go around and around and around. Can anyone help. I've read many books on grammar and writing and style and prose etc etc but I still don't know what is write and what is wrong. I've lost so much confidence it really hold me back. Is there anywhere where I can go to get better control over the words on my page?