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  1. Zombie Among Us

    Zombie Among Us Active Member

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    How Do Wedding Vows Work?

    Discussion in 'Research' started by Zombie Among Us, Feb 12, 2019.

    Hello,

    In my story, two characters get married, but I’m very confused as to how the vows work. Are the individual vows each of them say before or after the officiant does that whole “__ do you take __ to be your wedded __ etc.” thing? When do they exchange rings? All I really know is I was at a wedding once and the officiant first talked about how the two met and what they see in each other, and I want that to be in my story. Also, what exactly are “readings?”

    I’ve tried doing my own Google searches and I’ve found that people tend to assume that whoever’s reading already knows this stuff. Fun.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Which country are they getting married in? Is it a religious wedding and, if so, which religion and denomination?

    Readings are when somebody close to the couple reads out a poem or a passage to the guests, usually on the topic of love and relationships.
     
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  3. Justin Thyme

    Justin Thyme Active Member

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    I'm pretty sure that in most western christian based ceremonies the vows come before the couple are declared married.
     
  4. jim onion

    jim onion New Member

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  5. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Pretty sure that in most states in the US you aren't actually married til the officiant takes the bride and groom to sign the paperwork.
     
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  6. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Contributor

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    This is for the US:

    If a couple writes their own vows or there are readings, those come before the “Do you take...”

    But unless the wedding is a religious one, the “Do you take...” part is completely optional. The spoken vows have nothing to do with the legality of the ceremony. People just use those vows because they’re traditional. The legal part is the paperwork. Whatever the couple does or does not say as a public declaration to accompany it is up to the couple.

    ETA: I had a friend who used The Apache Wedding Song instead of traditional vows.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2019
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  7. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    How do wedding vows work? They don't.

    - Your Friendly Neighborhood Cynic-Man
     
  8. newjerseyrunner

    newjerseyrunner Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2022

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    I signed everything before the ceremony, so did my brother. I think you need both the signature and the declaration by the officiant.


    Vows took place after the officiating gave a short speech but before the rings. It’s up to the couple how they want to do it. My wife and I had our officiate say them as part of the “do you take...” part, my brother and his wife read there’s.


    Almost none of the wedding is official or has to be done a certain way. It’s a consumer based market so you can do almost anything you want. Lots of people actually have a wedding where their friend does the ceremony. It’s just a show they actually get married at the courthouse either the day before or after.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2019
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  9. Zombie Among Us

    Zombie Among Us Active Member

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    Thanks for the replies everyone.

    I probably should have stated that the wedding takes place after the apocalypse, in New England, and is not religious. Because of the lack of government, there is no paperwork. Maybe making a post at two in the morning wasn't the best idea. Anyway, what I've gathered from this is:

    1) I don't need readings (and I won't be using them)
    2) The couple's written vows usually come before the officiant does the whole "do you take" thing

    Here's what I have written:
    1) the gride (the POV) walks down the isle
    2) the officiant (who really is just their friend) talks about how the two met
    3) the officiant states what the two told him that they see in each other (based on my cousin's wedding I was to in November)
    4) the groom states his vows (I'm having trouble writing the vows, any tips?)
    5) the gride states their vows
    6) the officiant does the "do you take" and the couple says their "I do's"
    7) the officiant pronounces them husband and spouse and they kiss

    Now my only question is really this: when and how do they exchange rings?
     
  10. camphore

    camphore Member

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    It was a bazillion years ago and I didn't check myself, but I'm willing to bet there are a buttload of home videos on YouTube.
     
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  11. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    You married your brother? Rock on...
     
  12. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    In Japan, the ceremony has absolutely no legal force at all, you can get "married" by a Pikachu who's wearing a rainbow strap-on or the Archbishop of Tokyo, doesn't matter, the one who will actually perform the marriage is an employee at your local ward office. You show some ID, fill out some papers, sign or stamp the forms, and he says "omedetogozaimasu" which is "congratulations" and that's it. We did ours on a Wednesday afternoon when I could take the day off, several months after my family was out for the ceremony.
     
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  13. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Well, who did you plump for?
     
  14. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Archbishop of Tokyo wearing a strapon Pikachu, natch.
     
  15. S A Lee

    S A Lee Contributor Contributor

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    The author of the Vampire Hunter D books had a scene which said that repopulation was a priority to humans in his vampire apocalyptic setting.

    I've been to three weddings, two religious ones (a paternal uncle and then his eldest daughter) and a friend who had a short civil ceremony. The religious weddings had the readings and all this other stuff. The "how they met" stories were in the reception speeches for the civil one though. That was quick.

    The question is, why does the couple see the need for a wedding ceremony in this setting?
     
  16. camphore

    camphore Member

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    This just came to mind... If it's post-apocalyptic, what if everyone left has forgotten how weddings are held, and they have to make it up themselves?
     

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