I'm not sure if you are doing research on this or if this is just for "fun". Either way..... I love when kids get lyrics wrong. This is one from when my Mom was a kid: "....God bless America, land that I love, stand beside her, and guide her, through the light from A LAMP FROM A BULB"
here's one from my brother when he was a kid: "Why does it get darker faster at night then it does during the day?"
last one (for now) ... this is actually from a time when I was teaching a 3rd and 4th grade Sunday school class. It's not really what they said that was funny as much as my predicament! I was going over the 10 Commandments with the class, and, one of the students asked me ... "what's Adultery"? (Of course, they HAD to ask about that one!)
I know I have a lot more. But, not coming to mind, and, need to get ready for work! Love the thread BTW.
I have an eight year old...the things that are said are excellent and endless. *gets poked by a single thorn walking down the hill* "Dad! Dad! Dad! It's killing me ahhhhh,..*cries unconsolably*...it got me fifty times! Me, comfy in my bed sleeping in on a Saturday, son climbs on bed quietly and then proceeds to pounce on top of me with Hulk gloves. "Hulk Smaaaaaassssshhhhh!" Son, watching fireworks at the park with thousands of people, proceeds to die by explosions and shots in battle every time a firework explodes. Most start watching him instead of the fireworks. "If I rub poison oak in my eyeballs will I go blind?" *Talks about his uncle who he's seen probably twenty times* "I don't know who that weird guy is, but he smells like moldy cheese covered in diarrhea." *Eating something he hates* "It's freezing in here! I can't stand it! I have to shower now to warm up!" I tell him to keep eating. "Look how full my tummy is! It's going to explode!" *Proceeds to arch his back so his stomach sticks out and makes noises like he's choking.* It goes on forever, and I wouldn't give up any of it for anything.
I have to admit I"m getting tired of the 11 yr old calling everybody "Smart Alex". I've told him a thousand times it is Smart Aleck, yet it continues.
Youngest daughter age 2, ME FIRST TOO Same child age 3: Mom asks what's in your pocket? Child answers My Friends! Her pockets were full of dead bugs and worms. Same child age 3, while dad is in charge takes non permanent marker and writes all over her face. Asked why, she said she wrote her name so no one would forget what her name was.
Me: Pick a number between 1 and 10. 6yo: Batman! Me: Not a number. 6yo: 1...2...3....4...Batman...5... 6yo, while dancing in the hall in just his underwear: I'm a monkey booty! 6yo: UGH! Me: Don't give me that nonsense. 6yo: I wasn't giving you that nonsense, I was giving (older sister) it! 2yo, playing with my dragon necklace: Cute. It's cute, Mommy. Me: You're cute! 2yo: No, I'm Batman. While brushing the (then 4yrold)'s hair: Careful of my brain in there! I've got so many more but these are the ones off the top of my head lol
My kid has always had an ear for vocabulary. By the time he was two, you couldn't get him to say "pasghetti" or "aminal" if you tried. So I don't know how or why he started calling clothes hangers "hooker hangers", but he's since tried to fix it and apparently forgot which part to drop. We bought a t-shirt at Target the other day, and he told the lady at the checkout, “We're going to put that on a hooker."
A friend of mine said that the first time his daughter saw him in the nude she ran downstairs yelling, "Mommy, Daddy has a tail".
This story is more about an action than an utterance, but this exchange took place in a Walgreens last August: "Oliver, don't play with the ATM, please." "Can I touch it?" "I'd prefer you didn't." "Okay." *Pulls fire alarm instead*
Oh, I remembered another. While playing Eye Spy at night in the car: Dad: I spy with my little eye, something black. 6yo: The whole entire place.
I was having a conversation with my son about how to whistle and he kept telling me how his friend could do it because he had gum chins. Only thing I could figure is that he must have heard someone say "that boy has real gumption". Still don't really know.
If you like this sort of thing, I refer you to H. Allen Smith's books Don't get Perconal with a Chicken and Write Me a Poem, Baby. They're collections of children's writings that sometimes show startling insight. And, of course, there's Art Linkletter's Kids Say the Darnedest Things, but the Smith books are far better. One of my favorite Mondegreens comes from a kid who used to sing hymns after church picnics. One of the hymns was "Weak and Sinful Though We Be," but she thought it was "We Can Sing, Full Though We Be."
Thanks for the references, I'll check them out. I just think it's fun to hear from people you talk to everyday what their kid just said. Don't do it to childless people though, it's like showing them pictures from your wallet.
Ever attempted to explain a Sia video to a three-year old? Try it: "Why is she doing that? Why is she doing that? Who are those people? Why can't that guy get out of that cage?" "Well, son, you could probably interpret this a number of ways, but I imagine the cage represents the figurative enclosure in which we find ourselves when in conflict with others... No, they're wearing clothes... No really, they are. You don't need to take off your pants right now. Okay, in this one, she's either saving these people from post-apocalyptic horrors or every day tedium, depending on the depth of metaphor intended. It's hard to tell from her spasmodic dancing and baffling facial expressions... Yes, she does make funny faces... Yes, she's wearing clothes this time too... No, really, see the seems? Hey, how about we watch a stranger play Mario Bros. like you suggested in the first place."
I must add to this: My daughter is 3 y/o. She often times would say “help you” like when she needs help getting off something at the park, or just needs help. So instead of asking for help, or saying “help me”, she says “help you” Funny to me every time!!!
Clearly, she has the soul of that ancient sage, Yoda. "Help you must. As parent, you're destiny it is." There's wisdom there.
Cutest thing? Happened to me yesterday. When asked what does he want to do in the future, he said, "I want to be a teaching assistant like you and teach Maths or Origami." (I was the one who introduced him to origami.) Probably not the sort of "cute" you were after, but my heart melted.
And you know, there's a lot of advanced math related to Origami. He might become a Professor teaching topology at Cal Tech, or something. Professors are like teaching assistants -- the better Professors, anyway.
I know. I had a teacher try to tell me I must be good at maths since I'm good at origami. So. Not. True. Wish it was, of course. I don't think it requires ability in maths to make intricate folds and memorise steps. Superimposing shapes and interpreting diagrams perhaps require some technical thinking, I grant you. I think the maths really comes in the designing of origami, which is an aspect I've never dabbled in. I only fold what other artists have designed.