Random Thought Thread

"How do you think I was planning on paying the cab fare home?"

 

I do not have a picture of it, but at work there is this one door that leads to the meeting room, on it there is a big white sign with bold black letters that reads: “door not in use.” However, that is the only door to the meeting room. So we regularly joke that we can’t go the meeting because the door is not in use.

 

Still trying to work out what a trashpasser actually is. Someone who's employed to collect the trash, but just walks past it? Someone dressed in trashy clothing whose passing by the sign, and thus will be put to work?

 

I wish I could write prose the way my father tells an anecdote. Simple, elegant language straight to the hilarious point. And another. And another. Each sentence enhancing the last and setting up the next. The man's a natural storyteller.

And if I could create characters with the sheer madcap individuality as some of the people he's allegedly met...

 

Get it all, as much as you can, on tape, or napkins, or write on your arm! Those are the stories that need telling.

 

It's getting hard to stick to, but I try to never buy any product or service whose advertising requires a disclaimer.

 

On the topic of typos, when I worked for a cinema, someone wrote that sales assistants needed a manger present to access the stock cage (the stuff with low profit margins were under lock and key).

In the hardware store, an EAL manager wrote 'asses loads before carrying'. We forgave him.

Moving onto the title name, Donald Trump seems afraid of a little rain. He wouldn't go to the centenary armistice ceremony because he couldn't take his helicopter. Come on! 1800 men from your country died there and you can't face a little wet weather for that!? Strikes me as spineless.

 

World War One has been over for a hundred years now.

Bizarre.

 

Life goals updated:

​

 

Where's the Freddy Kreuger ckaws?

 

Check under the kilt if you dare.

 

What? Like 'Sex Machine' in Dusk Til Dawn ?

 

Careful, he's kilt many people with that thing.

 

Or the spidergirl in Wicked City. I'll let you google her.

 

Look at this shit. How dare anything be this cute!

 

So because I don't have television, I tend to just have random YouTube video essays or talk shows or whatever on in the background while I cook and clean or whatever (sometimes I'll watch too, if they utilise the medium as they ought)

So last night, the autoplay function magically started playing The Big Fat Quiz of Everything (which I've never seen before)


And I can now confirm that I have a huge crush on Richard Ayoade

 

7-11 (locally renamed 7&I Holdings for some arcane legal reason) branded convenience store octopus bits.



For when you need to make takoyaki at 3 am, I assume.

ETA: Whoops, I didn't notice they were pre-seasoned with wasabi. Guess it's just beer snacks then.

 

You don't understand: I miss Japanese 7-Elevens.

The cheap junky bento is a thousand times better than anything the American version has and everytime I run into one for any reason in the states, I'm just thinking of how I wish there was any one of their snacks or packaged meals instead of the three day old frozen pizza sitting in the plastic display case that they threw jalapeños on to disguise the taste of old and gross and plastic~y.

 

Unfortunately, the hidden cost of those fresh bentos is horrendous: Japan throws out 30% of its food, and conbinis are among the worst offenders.

I still shop there though

 

Have they tried selling it the next day with newly added jalapeños?

 

It must be so hard to be a midde-aged Japanese woman. No matter if you're riding your bicycle north in the southbound lanes, east in the westbound lanes, straight down the double-yellow, or any other reasonable course of action, there's always some law-abiding idiot aiming his car, motorcycle, or bicycle right at you and causing you to swerve dangerously on your twitchy-but-not-maneuverable mamachari.*

Maybe that's why so many of them choose to run over pedestrians on the sidewalk, right next to the "No Bicycles" sign.

Maybe if we had caning like Singapore....

 

@Iain Aschendale I intend to learn Japanese and travel there one day. I have to be self-taught though because other than a couple friends who are taking it at the college they go to, that's my best option.

Word of the day: Whomst'd've?