Interesting plot twist or major disappointment?

Some plot twists are amazing but some can be disappointing so, thinking through the new idea I've had for my current wip I realised I could be either doing a good twist or a really disappointing one and wanted some opinions and suggestions to make it good, not bad.

In my story an evil wizard had an issue with a town of people, having been told they would defeat him by a seer he created a curse that would fall over the town if he was killed in this battle. The curse was that the town would become closed off to the outside world, no one could enter and no one could leave. Although time wouldn't stop, death would. So no one would ever get any release from sickness or old age. Every 20 years he could return or choose another to fight for him and attempt to destroy the town again. A good witch, who had been saved by the town counter-acted the curse with a blessing that each time the villain came someone in the town would be gifted with magic in order to defeat him - a saviour. This saviour would defend the town from the villain and in this time only could the curse be broken if they could discover how. Obviously my main character (Kara) is the saviour but due to internal conflicts has problems controlling her magic and lacks confidence. The evil chosen to fight the town this time is a threat not only to the town, but Kara has been blessed with the ability to defeat him but needs guidance. Her family and friends have been supportive but some people need a kick not a hug. So a dark saviour is sent to help her in the form of the villain. A dark saviour is someone who still saves but tends to do so by darker means (like an anti-hero). Her job is to prepare Kara for the real villain and convince her she is the one sent to destroy the town while trying to get Kara to think like a warrior and be smarter in her strategies and help her get over her mental block that affects her magic working properly.

Not sure if this is a good idea. Or if people will want to see a showdown between the two only to discover she was helping her all along. Maybe a bit disappointing? The readers will get to see a real showdown between Kara and the real villain. But if the dark saviour is there to help why not just tell them that? She’s there to give Kara what she needs to defeat him and since the curse was cast the only person to enter the town is the next villain so would they believe her? This just feels like an idea with too many holes. What do you think?

 

I don't understand the premise...

An evil wizard put a curse upon the town, that if he should die in battle (over the town), then a curse would fall upon the town and seal it off. Got it.

Then you said, every 20 years he could return...

What? I thought he died, or how did the curse happen then?

The good witch gifts somebody with magic each time the villain (or someone the villain chose) shows up. Does she randomly cast a spell? Is someone born with magic suddenly and people just know "Aha this is the one!" because that child would be the only one with magic? So, every 20 years, 1 person is born with magic - and so far, every "saviour" has died? In what way are these saviours if they haven't saved anything...?

Then you said:
This saviour would defend the town from the villain and in this time only could the curse be broken if they could discover how.

You're gonna have to fix the grammar of your post because it's really difficult to understand. Saviour would defend the town. What happens to the villain? He dies or flees? If it's just someone the villain has chosen, in what way does defeating the chosen bad guy actually end the story? The villain would still be out there. That last bit of your sentence "if they could discover how" - how to break the curse, or how to kill the villain, or how to kill the chosen bad guy? I don't understand this weird condition for breaking the curse.

If Kara was the only one born with magic in the last 20 years, she would have been raised to think she has to defeat the villain. Most people when brought up that way would simply accept the task. Your idea of her not believing in herself makes it sound like she only discovered her magical powers way later.

However, if you get a saviour every 20 years, surely there could potentially be 3 characters with magic? Because that's only a 60 year span. The previous saviours would still be alive. Unless they die each time.

However, if time has stopped, how do children grow up to be adults...? How can there be old age?

Or do you mean the witch randomly blesses someone only when the villain appears again? Why make it so random? (because the way Kara is responding, it sounds random)

This dark saviour - if no one except the villain can enter, how did this dark saviour get in, and how come Kara doesn't try and kill her immediately?

Lastly, not a plot hole per se, but I struggle to believe anyone would want to read a book that centers upon the hero whining about not wanting to go on her mission to save her town and in the meantime possibly being persuaded to do evil instead. If she is to believe she could destroy the town, then she'd also believe she could save it. If she would not realistically believe that she could destroy the town, then there are no stakes or tension. If the whole book is someone trying to kick her butt into gear while she went back and forth saying "I can't do it!" - that sounds like a potentially very annoying character. When that's your MC, that becomes potentially rather problematic.

What attracts you about the idea? I'd keep the essence of what fascinated you about it, and go back to the drawing board, personally.

 

I do think this idea would be a hard sell.

I have liked stories that had a fake antagonist similar to what this dark savior sounds like she'll be. As in the protagonists thinks that they're the main villain only to reveal part way through that the real villain is someone else. The thing is that in the examples I can think of where this happened that I liked, the fake antagonist might not be the main antagonist but they still were antagonistic. Basically they were either a minion to the main villain (or brainwashed/possessed), or were doing unsavory things that put them at odds with the hero in an attempt to stop the main villain themselves. The point is that while they weren't the main villain as the hero thought, the antagonism between them and the hero was still real.

And that's where I see a problem with your idea. It will feel like a letdown to set up this antagonistic dynamic between the two characters only to reveal that the dark savior was just playing the role of the mentor the whole time. It could still work if there is real antagonism between the two characters that could persist after the reveal that the dark savior was just helping the savior train, but I think it would be a challenge to get right.

 

I personally love this kind of premise, but it needs to be done very carefully to come off. For example, for the fake-antagonist to be believable as the antagonist (either to Kara or the reader), she needs to have done some antagonistic stuff towards Kara. Even the fact that she made Kara believe things like she was fighting for her life when she really wasn't is going to be a big deal to Kara. Once the big reveal happens, that can't just be brushed away. Kara is likely to have some very complicated feelings, and quite possibly some lingering mistrust (both towards her 'helper' and in general).

I personally don't see why they can't eventually build a strong supportive relationship, but it can't just happen, the complexity of it all needs to be shown.

Edit: Also, you will probably want to leave some hints for the reader, not enough to reveal but enough for them to go 'Oh!' when it's all explained. That way it'll feel more like an intriguing development and less like the rug has been pulled out from under them.

 

Your explanation of your idea confused me and I stopped reading it.

I'm not saying the idea is bad, I'm only saying it's very confusing.

 

I don't get it.

 

So at the core, your issue is that you're worried people will be upset to find out that what we initially thought was the big bad was actually a stealth mentor anti-hero there to make the heroine get her act together?

I mean, that's been done before. The main thing that would make it an issue is making the audience scream for the "villain's" blood. Like, if the audience really hates this guy and wants them to die, then if it turns out they're a hero all along, people are going to be pissed off, especially if that really doesn't change much about how hateable they are.

What you want to do is make this villain entertaining and likable in their own villainous way, so that the audience is pleased that they're actually a good guy who gets to stick around longer.

 

I actually like this. Not confusing at all. Granted, it sounds a bit anime, but whatever.

My recommendation is that the dark savior really be messed up. Maybe not outright evil, but in one way or another clearly wrong and acting for selfish purposes. Maybe he's jealous of MC's power, or he's angry that someone "lame" like her got the power and would have been fine if it were someone stronger. Perhaps it's a person with a vested motive in keeping the town cut off. Like a tyrant who sees this as his opportunity to have absolute power over the community. And then, when he's defeated, he's upset but also ultimately proud and impressed by MC's growth, deciding to support her in the end.