If your narrative is in third person would the internal dialog be in third? The character ask herself, Why is she not falling in love? from a book I’m reading. My latest book written in third person I used... Wiping the stressful sweat from his brow he thought, Where would I be now if men like Casey ruled the world? I know we had a long thread about italics and the use of ‘ thought’, but this is new to me. What say you all?
I actually tend to think it should be in first person, as if they were speaking to their own person. So I agree with your second example and find the first odd.
I usually see first person when italics are used and regular when third person is used. I'm no expert when it comes to grammar but I think the use of italics may have something to do with the sound of a voice.
If a book is heavy on thoughts you dont need the "he thought or she thought" just switch to italics The puzzle fell apart and the pieces scattered to who knows where. Now what? If you are describing a thought process then do it in third. She hunted for every piece, counting them carefully to make sure she got them all. A hundred and forty-nine. Where was that last piece? If, like me, you have a lot of telepathy in your book, it's okay to sometimes use the he/she/it thought or something similar. Heart pounding, she reached out with her mind. Oh Adam, I'm so sorry, I lost one of the puzzle pieces. Adam's reply came slowly, as if he were thinking to himself before replying with, Did you look under the throw rug, Anna? Anna cast about and noticed a pinch in the rug. Tucked underneath, the last puzzle piece sat, as though waiting for her to find it. Your magic talent of locating things sure comes in handy, she sent, thanks! What are big brothers for? Adam gave her a mental hug. However, this is just a guideline, one that I use with great success. When describing thought I sometimes ramble, a little bit, along the thought process, but not too much, for rambling too much will spoil the scene at best or the book at worst. So ramble gently, while keeping the thoughts on the same topic. Refrain from straying too far off topic and keep it short. A third or first pov is written from a character's perspective, either describing what they say/do/feel or as the character. so it's suggested that they are thinking. Just keep it short and sweet and the reader won't mind at all. Telepathy is a type of dialogue, treat it as such and keep it just as concise and snappy as the rest of the dialogue and you'll be fine.
