Is Big Beautiful?

here's a piece i did on the subject way back when i was rv-ing all over the us and canada [hope you won't mind it's a bit lengthy for a post]:

Big, Bold... and Beautiful!


Right outside the front window (my windshield), standing by the truck I parked behind, is a "behind" of heroic proportions. Clad in black cotton baggie shorts and matching tank top, it and the rest of the body to which it's attached, are what the women's wear catalogs politely call "Queen Size"…'n then some! Flowing down the ample back of that full figure, half hiding the bulk of its sizable sitter, is a mass of gorgeous, deep chestnut hair. A fall of healthy, rich tresses any shampoo company would kill to acquire the rights to.

From the opposite direction, the face one sees framed by that magnificent mane, is more than a bit strong—and very attractive. All in all, making the woman who carries her "queen sized" self so assuredly it could easily be described as "regal," an arresting sight, indeed. Worth a second look—or third—by any of either sex who appreciates looking at pretty things. This is the umpteenth super large and lovely to look-at female I've come across in just the last few days! What's going on?

It's Labor Day Weekend, so folks of all economic, educational and ethnic persuasions are out here (the shore of Lake Superior—a coincidence???) having one last summer fling. And in campgrounds, at rest stops, gas stations and tourist info centers, I'm seeing practically nothing but what I once would've called "fat" women. And girls. All ages apply. There's an awful lot of guys and boys from tot to teen ages, too, but that's another story. None of them look good in blubber. So many of the gals do, that I almost can't believe what I'm seeing. Well, of course I believe my eyes—they don't lie. The phenomenon is quite a surprise, though.

The group of horseback riders (!) this one is traveling with, includes at least three others from about 18-20, to 30's or early 40's, who are also tubby to obese. The rest of their fellow horsepersons—4 or 5 more—are "normal" to skinny sized, so this can't be just some pudgy peoples' club. While I have to pity the poor, heavily burdened oat burners, I must applaud these women of size for their courage and grit. None, it seemed, were going to let their excess keep them from doing whatever their little hearts desired. Knowing how hard it is to get my merely 15 20 pounds over-weight bod up in the cab of my own conveyance, I can only imagine how tough a haul it is to get theirs up and down to get in and out of the saddle. I'd pass.

This, and all the other L and XL and XXL ladies I keep seeing everywhere, is making me rethink the whole subject of female size and shape. When I consider the configuration of the earliest ever worshiped humans, as indicated by statues found at the world's oldest sanctuary sites, I wonder if we've had things backside backwards for an awful long time now. You see, those revered ones were women, first of all and second, they were humongous women. Shaped, in fact, just like all those gals who're popping up all over the place these days. Hell, even I'm getting close!

It's really weird. Things're changing and I'm not sure if all of you out there have noticed and I've been blind in one eye with the other closed, or vice versa. 'Nother thing is, these big mamas seem to be pretty healthy. I mean, no obvious wheezing and so on, indicating that weight is a handicap of any kind. What's more, they look happy ("fat and happy"—remember?) and most even have hubbies, boyfriends, lovers or what have you tagging along, looking like they’re glad to be there. Many of their men are even built like studly do rights, for heaven's sake! This seems to be the real human race out here, guys. The fake slimbodies we're fed a full diet of by the media, just aren't out here living in America—nor Canada, either. Or Mexico, for that matter.

Is this a new "old" thing? Or a continuing "true" thing that public lying has been hiding from our view? Whatever it is, I can tell you that a conspiracy of massive proportions just had its cover blown. Roseanne…please accept my abject apology. Rosie… stay just as your are. Oprah… for cryssakes’ gal, let your body decide what shape it's supposed to be! He'll love you anyway, and everyone else already does. The devil take the diet pushers and pill producers and devious doctors' mumbo jumboing about heart attacks. It's them—the men—who drop dead from fatty, over weighted hearts, not us! Ours were made to take the strain of being women—no easy job. Take a look at the mother goddesses from our human beginnings. And N0, they’re not just "fertility figures," guy!. Big was not merely beautiful then… it was powerful. For us girls, anyway.

 

Nice observation mammamaia...reminds me of some lady friends who are rodeo women...barrel racers. Most of these women are on the "heavy" side but any one of them could beat most guys in an arm wrestling contest. They festoon themselves in western clothes...not just jeans, denim shirts and cowboy hats...rather, their clothes often display intricate and colorful needle-work designs applied by the "little" ladies, themselves.

I have seen one of these women wrestle a snot-snorting, twelve hundred pound quarter horse around a barrel course at full gallop, only to dismount and hug her little girl, gently kissing the "boo-boo" on a tiny finger. As the crowd roars in approval at her near-record event time, a lanky cowboy...who could easily star in any old-western movie featuring square-jawed, rock solid cow wranglers...wraps his six foot three frame around his special "gal" and lifts her off the ground in loving embrace. And she does not apologize for her size fourteen frame...she waves to her fans!

You're right mammamaia. Women do not need to follow Hollywood conventions to be "beautiful". Real women learn to be happy with themselves, regardless of their "con-figuration". And it is that self-respect that I find most "beautiful" in any person. So, in answer to the OP question, "Is big beautiful?", I can happily report it most certainly IS beautiful in the eyes of many beholders. Those who feel otherwise are sadly lacking the ability to see the "whole" person when considering "beauty"...and it's their loss!

 

No, dude, sir-mix-a-lot had it right.

 

You've got to be kidding me. Your argument, summed up, is that the problem cannot be fixed, ergo there is no problem.

Surely they can sum up enough courage and grit to put down the fork?

Pfft. Being obese was considered an asset back then because starvation was a constant spectre. Being able to eat a lot indicated wealth and access to resources. In contemporary society it indicates a lack of self control and self respect.

There is a wealth of evidence that being overweight is bad for you. Taking this line is like trying to argue that smoking isn't a health risk. Ceteris paribus, being tubby is always less healthy than being lean.

*Looks out the window* Hmm, plenty of slim people where I live. You're arguing from the status quo - we are fat, ergo we should be fat.

Jesus Christ on a hamburger. Coronary heart disease is the leading cause of death for women in the US. More than breast cancer or getting smashed up in car wrecks, or getting shot by a crazed boyfriend or lover. Chew on that.

 

rant

People die from heart disease because it's generally a disease of aging and we live longer than we ever have before because most people in America have plenty of access to food and healthcare. The diet industry exists to SELL things. I have a box of Honey Nut Cheerios that says I will lower my cholesterol if I eat a bowl a day! Uh, yeah. There is no proof that dieting works long term for 95 percent of people, or that if fat people lose weight they will live longer. It's all vanity, and really, who cares? Does it really matter if society reaches a consensus on what is beautiful? They have, why do you care? So what if products (Dove) have decided that "regular" women are suckers and can be sold on the idea that they won't hate you for not being a size 2. It's all competition for who gets to be the most sexualized. The only situation where this matters is when fat people are scapegoated for America's problems, as a symbol of America's greed and gluttony, and of course there's a strong current of racist, classist, sexist notions running through all this. Because men don't have to worry about being beautiful, do they? Plus, ManicParroT and others need some group to project their irrational, hateful ignorance on.

 

If this turns into a flame war, I will be decidedly unamused. Keep it civil.

 

Frankly, I don't give a damn about how "long" I live...as long as I enjoy what time I have. Being a slave to calorie-counting is not my idea of enjoying life. I get too much pleasure from food. I also reject the arrogance of the neurotic "thin crowd" who look down their noses at people who can't afford fresh fruits, lean meats and other diet foods. Poverty and depression are causes of most obesity. Thin-obsessed people shake their fingers of condemnation at those who fail to "...sum up enough courage and grit to put down the fork." But, those same people don't offer real help to solve poverty or resolve depression. The obese are simply weak-willed failures who are fair game for ridicule.

Rather than condemn people for being overweight, why not work to resolve the underlying problems...poverty, depression, low self esteem, family genetics, etc?

 

Big IS Beautiful. Learn something from me. I HATE, DETEST being thin. My best-friend rues her weight. I tell her to give it to me. I mean I can't seem to gain weight. I'm 41 kgs and excessively thin, and I hate being thin. I take vitamins. My daily diet includes veg 4 times a day. And I'm a total junkie, I eat all day long. And I'd love to be healthy. And apart from obesity, which IS unhealthy and can cause heart problems, no one is fat just because they aren't a perfect size zero or even six, they're just heathly, and healthy is the best way to live. It makes you glow!

And if anyone has tips on gaining weight...PLEASE TELL ME!!!!

 

It doesn't matter what size you are or what you look like. Everyone has a beautiful and ugly side to them. And both lay beneath the surface. If your weight is a health concern, whether you need to gain or lose weight, then I hope that you are able to get to the weight you need to get to.

But at the end of the day, it isn't the outside that matters, it is what lays beneath that counts. You could have the perfect body, but be nothing but a jerk. So who cares if you are overweight or under. Just concentrate on the inside, your personality is all that matters and being healthy.

And for the record, being skinny ain't what it is all cracked up to be! I should know, I've been skinny all my life and it really isn't as good as people think it is!

 

Dont eat junk food

your metabolism works such that your energy is burnt super super fast, so if youre pumping copious amounts of sugar and simple fat into your bloodstream your body will burn it off at the click of your fingers

 

Just for giggles I googled 'plus size models' and you should see some of the women in the industry that are considered 'plus' sized. It's ridiculous. I maintain that a lot of them are 'normal' and it's public perception that is way out of whack. This lovely young lady was on the first page.

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00002/ed_imgSNF16WOMA_2831a.jpg

I was watching an episode of Dr. Phil that dealt with spousal abuse and it centered on this 40 something couple. The wife was an absolute stunner who had gained a bit of weight after three kids and, well a few years--it happens to most people. But she was much thinner than the woman in the picture above.

Now the husband was short, bald and easily 40 pounds overweight and clearly couldn't see that he was married WAY out of league. He looked nearly as wide as he was tall. This guy was publicly chastising his lovely wife calling her a fat-a-- and even went so far as to leave her and have an affair. I just don't get it. As you can imagine--Dr. Phil tore him a new one. I wanted to reach through the TV and choke the guy to death.

I don't know what is worse, watching a man that closely resembles George Costanza from Seinfeld that thinks he can abuse his significant other for not being what is considered ideal--or some narcissistic punk that spends an hour on his hair and doesn't feel like she is up to his elitist standards.

I know what I said is going tick somebody off--so please keep it out of this thread. Send me a PM if your aggravated with me so this doesn't turn into a flame war.

 

Putting aside the whole "True beauty is on the inside" thing (although I am a strong believer in that), my opion on actual body weight/mass is that every one is individual, and different people at different sizes will weigh in differntly, and everbody has a different shape.

As long as you're fit and healthy, your size/weight should just be something trivial, an afterthought. Really, weight shouldn't factor in at all, people are different: I, for one, weigh more then people 'bigger' than me, my whole family is like that; skinny, but heavy. And all your cllothes size should be is a number to aid you in buying clothes that are comfortable.. and don't chafe . Something as silly as a number is definately not something you can judge beauty by.



Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. <- one of the most truthful proverbs in history. It's all in our heads.

 

Thanks for the tip Eoz...I'll have my last pack today and then, no junk, my Mom will be delighted.

 

I see that what I've said has stirred the pot somewhat. People are replying to a host of positions that I have not endorsed or advocated. This post is long, but I think it's necessary.

My position: Being overweight is unhealthy. Maintaining a healthy weight is a sign of self control. Being healthy does not require being anorexic (obviously, anorexia is unhealthy) or fitting into size 0 clothes, unless size 0 clothes are relevant for your body shape. However, being overweight is not healthy, any more than smoking cigarettes or drinking too much is healthy.

Support for my position:

being overweight is unhealthy

Not difficult. Being overweight generally involves being inactive. Obesity contributes to coronary disease and diabetes. People love muddying this up, or coming up with bizarre counter examples (I'm overweight but I exercise a lot and eat lots of fruit and vegetables, blah blah blah), but it's pretty clear that being obese or overweight is unhealthy. It's certainly less healthy than being the correct weight, or having an abundance of lean muscle. If you think being fat is healthier than being skinny, you are fooling yourself. Five minutes on google should fix this notion.

To reiterate my initial post: Ceteris paribus, being tubby is less healthy than being lean.

Yawn. Check this out:

Obesity and heart disease.

I'm not even going to debate this point any further. Obesity is unhealthy. Muddying the waters up won't get you away from the basic point: Being overweight is bad for you.

Next statement: Maintaining a healthy weight is a sign of self control.

All people live on a spectrum between perfect control and absolute contingency. Becoming a ballerina or weight lifter or high level gymnast requires immense self control. Anyone here who does any of these activities will know what I'm speaking about. To be a body builder you need to eat enormous amounts of healthy protein and lift weights every day. To be a top ballerina you must subject yourself to rigours every bit as demanding as those of the free lift and bench press. Athletics at the top level requires you to follow a demanding schedule involving diet, exercise and practice. Even then, you might not make it if your genes aren't adequate. I have a friend who runs the 400 metres for South Africa, representing us internationally. His diet is mind bogglingly strict. He doesn't know what Coke tastes like - it's been years since he drunk it. Why? Because it might make the difference between 45.9 and 46 seconds.

To just be fundamentally healthy requires a lot less effort than any of these examples, but it still requires quite a bit, particularly in the US and Britain. If you eat without thinking and your body has an inclination to put on weight, you will become fat. The exact amount of self control any individual will require to remain at a healthy weight will vary. Some people eat without thinking, and they don't gain weight. They are lucky - their bad habits are invisible. A tiny minority of people have bizarre conditions, such as a damaged thyroid gland. These people are very unlucky. Still, to maintain a healthy weight requires effort and self control. If you have respect for your body and yourself, you will make this effort. If you prioritise eating pleasant food over being healthy, you will not.

This isn't a popular notion, but this is largely because people don't like the idea that day to day life requires self control.

Finally: I am not advocating anorexia, or being a size 0 model.

In this thread we have statements like:

and

Look. I haven't said any of these. However, the notion that being a healthy weight requires some kind of absurdly Spartan existence is plainly wrong. It's the good old fallacy of the excluded middle: Either I accept that being fat is A-OK, or I'm a health nut. Since when is advocating a healthy weight being a health nut?

Obesity is unhealthy. People can delude themselves, or they can just accept that they couldn't be bothered with maintaining a healthy weight. I won't tell you that you should be healthy, but don't insult my intelligence by claiming that obesity is healthy.

 

You shouldn't be eating much sugar regardless of weight. Anyway, something my cousin suggested when I was having trouble gaining back some weight I'd lost was pasta. If the no carbs thing is true about losing weight, the oposite should also be true. But the fact of the matter is, are you healthy? If you are eating an insane amount of food, and aren't exsessively exercising, but are still staying thin, that's who you were meant to be.

 

Yay, that's Crystal Renn, she's my favourite European supermodel

^__^

Just to clear this up, she's only considered 'plus sized' because she works mainly for commercial brands- HENCE why she's a commercial, or rather, 'normal' size (even though she has done some work for some really big high fashion lables like Jean-Paul Gaultier)

There's a difference between plus size (normal size) and non-plus models... it's based mainly on the market they work for

high fashion models are predominately non-plus size because the products they're essentially advertising is to a minority (usually those who can actually afford it, lol), therefore alot of scrutiny is placed upon the model themselves because of the sheer value of what they're selling.

supermodels are often tall because being tall creates the illusion that their torso is longer than it really is and therefore in proportion with often longer legs and narrower shoulders, their head also looks smaller which further creates the illusion of proportion

also in high fashion, especially during catwalks, outfits are more or less sewn on and put together within minutes of the actual event occurring (most models will usually be required to wear several, often complex outfits within the span of the show, which isn't all that long for most designers, lol) therefore, it's considered easier and (I guess) cheaper, to organise an outfit on a thin model than one of a normal size.

 

By junk, I meant chips and cheetos and stuff, not sweet things, I have chocos about thrice or four times a week, that's it...Does this change things??

 

If big is beautiful, I guess I'll never be beautiful. My family has been trying to make me fat like they are for years. So far, no one has been able to contribute more than a pound or two to my weight.

 

Big girls are okay with me as long as they're not hugely overweight. In the white society I notice that the men mostly prefer their women to be really skinny while in the black society it's more varied. Like for instance a white girl thinks a big butt is unattractive while it's reverse in the black and Latino communities.

 

Three times a week is a lot. And in the category of chips and cheesies, you've got the icky fats, salt, and hardly any vitamins. At least with chocolate (especially the kind with little sugar) there are benefits to your health.

 

If big is beautiful then I'm going to be an absolute bombshell in a few months. I am expecting a baby in May. LOL.

Seriously, I didn't really think about my weight when I was a teenager. I rode horses all the time and had a lean, fit body, ate anything I wanted (which, considering my mom's views on healthy eating was all pretty good stuff) and cared for a lot of farm animals and the garden. So I really didn't carry excess body fat.

Started worrying about it more when I was working and sitting at a computer all day. I didn't want to have a belly and big thighs because it made me feel icky. Besides, then my face looks pudgy and I hate that.

So I gained some weight, I figured out how to lose the weight, I still tried not to obsess over it...and then I got pregnant the first time (this is my third).

Nothing has challenged my body image quite this way. It's more than the belly...it's the bloating as well. I always feel and look like a blimp when I'm in the latter stages of pregnancy...when my first child was born my ankles were hugely swollen and the nice health professional actually looked at them and said, "GOOD LORD...I've seen ankles like that on congestive heart patients." ...........yeah. That kinda thing makes you feel just great.

So I'm preggers for the third time and know what I have to face. I will look like a pear. Then a really BIG pear with big legs.*sigh* I'll have crying fits because I'll feel like I'll never be pretty again (hey, you just never know).

Best part is...now that my face is rounder to go with all this...my driver's license pic is expired and I need to get a new one taken. So for the next several years I'll be stuck with a blimp pic on my license.

Sorry.......what was the question? LOL!

 

Foxee, I am sure you will be!

Some of it is genetics, some of it is diet and lifestyle. Personally looking at/hugging a bag of bones ain't for me. And as with this, I think personal preferences play a part.

Terry

 

crazy thing is, after an 'old' life of keeping myself as 'thin and sexy' as possible, due to the men in my life's preferences, here i am in my old age, living on an island where thin women are neither the norm, nor their men's preference...

and at 70, having become 30 pounds 'overweight' from not giving a darn how i look any more, i've actually been hit on by local guys in their 40s!!!... go figure...

 

Foxee,

My wife weighed less than 100 pounds when she got pregnant with each of our four kids. Each time, she got back down to her desired weight...it just took a bit longer after each one, and she gained over 50 pounds with each pregnancy. Same thing goes for my daughters...I have four grandkids and all my daughters are drop dead gorgeous a year after each birth. It didn't happen by accident, rather, their mom was a great role model for them. Odd thing about them...they all say they loved being pregnant which I found difficult to understand.

 

maia, I'm sorry that you felt you had to keep yourself thin for the preference of others. And to all the woman out there that feel the need to do this to be 'sexy'. Skinny isn't sexy, not in my opinion anyway. I think having a bit of meat on your body is far more attractive!

I'm glad that you are happier now and no longer care what size you are. To me, that is far more beautiful than anything else. Because you are happy with how you look. More people should be happy with how they look and stop obsessing over being a certain weight, or looking a certain way.

I've spent over 10 years now trying to gain weight and I just hope that time will be kind to me later in life and allow it to happen. Would be nice to have some natural curves and meat on my bones. I'd like to go from size 6-8 up to a 10 at least. Be very happy with that! Though it does mean clothing shopping and I hate shopping... lol!