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  1. data-san

    data-san New Member

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    Is this a run on?

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by data-san, May 14, 2011.

    First question: I'm writing a cover letter, and I can't decide between cutting it in half or not as it feels smoother as one sentence. Maybe you can help.

    I am particularly interested in [firm name] because your experienced staff and large client list would offer a great learning environment, and I would enjoy living in temperate California, where I could bike year-round.
     
  2. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It is not a run-on. A run-on is grammatically incorrect it consists of two improperly joined sentences. The preceding sentence is a run-on.

    But your sentence does ramble. I would divide it into two or three sentences. One sentence should express one idea.
     
  3. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    not only does it ramble ineffectively, as cog points out, but if aimed at a literary agency, it doesn't make much sense as a reason to choose an agent...
     
  4. digitig

    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with Cog that it's grammatically sound, and I also agree with him that it rambles. Does a client list provide an environment? Is there a second, intemperate, California? It's looks as if you haven't fully thought about what it is you want to say.
     
  5. aimi_aiko

    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    ^This
     

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