1. heyharris1

    heyharris1 New Member

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    is this possible or sound dumb.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by heyharris1, Oct 11, 2007.

    does this sentence make any sence, can your pride get broke, i was thinking along the line's of getting your feeling hurt, you really cant physicaly hurt feeling, just a saying, so does this work or is it dumb.


    Laying there for a second, he slowly did a self diagnosis. A quick
    conformation determined nothing was broke but his pride.



    is that ok or ??????

    thank you all
    jim
     
  2. Frost

    Frost Active Member

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    Now it makes sense.

    PS: If that same sort of sentence was put into dialogue, "nothing was broke" would be more acceptable I guess, so long as the character always makes use of such colloquial language.
     
  3. Stinger

    Stinger New Member

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    It does. Period.
     
  4. Seanachie

    Seanachie New Member

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    Much depends on whether you mean the fellow's pride was temporarily wounded (the common expression), or whether his pride (ie spirit) was broken.

    If I might, however, there are a few small things I would point out about the sentences you posted.

    1. He is checking himself, ergo it is necessarily a self-diagnosis; so diagnosis on its own will do.

    2. Laying there for a second, he slowly did a self diagnosis. A quick conformation determined nothing was broke but his pride.

    Either he was slow or he was quick, but these two words do not sit well together in such close proximity.

    3. A quick conformation determined...

    a. Was this a typographical error: conformation for confirmation?

    b. I believe the word examination would work better, in any case. An examination could determine whether there was damage; a confirmation is already proven so wouldn't need to be determined.

    Just my two penn'worth.
     
  5. Funny Bunny

    Funny Bunny New Member

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    Broke is non-standard, but it can be used as regional dialect, so it depends on who your narrator is. If the narrator is not in character --is you, the author, generally, standard verb endings would be used (broken).
     
  6. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    should be 'confirmation' not 'conformation'... but even the proper word doesn't work well in that context... and it has to be 'lying' not 'laying' unless he's laying an egg ;-)... plus, how can he do anything slowly in a second?... then, pride can be injured, but not really broken...

    here's a better, more sense-making version:

     
  7. heyharris1

    heyharris1 New Member

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    dang you guys are good, that must be why you all make the big money.
    jim
     

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