had this a few Years but not been able to draw it out. A great and mighty Daimyo, from the Shogunate is betrayed by his samurai retainers, for no reason beyond their greed, and wretchedness, and brutally murdered, his body is buried in a Crypt, that is warded to keep his soul from passing beyond, reincarnating, or cursing them. Well in modern times, someone unearths the crypt and Disrupts the Wards... and the Daimyos ghost, Returns to earth able to SMELL the blood of his betrayer's, and equipped with a supernatural RIGHT, in the eyes of the gods at least, to murder each and every one of his betrayer's descendents, but NEVER anyone else. A lot of the middle Im still unsure of... But Im thinking someone who's only Academically aware hes part jappanese, being, mostly caucasian, (a grandparent or great grandparent) At first anyway, maybe he didnt even know THAT academically until latter on... but anyway... he finds out as things go on that everyone from several specific bloodlines is dieing out. and has to learn about the tale, im not sure how to make it make sense, without resorting too much to cliches. For the end, I've decided, he Commits Seppuku with the SPECIFIC INTENTION of Washing his family clean of the stain of treachery, And then the Daimyos mad ghost, Rails, for he can sense the gods are satisfied with the guys penance, and have absolved his children and their descendents, of their ancestors crime, so he speaks a few words in the end, of grudging respect for this Man as a man, saying he proved that he, at least, was a true samurai, if only through his devotion, then walks away into the night seeking those who's lives yet belong to him... (sorry I know that was long for an "idea" but anything specifically flawed about the concept?)
Nothing specifically wrong, except that you might have to (subtly!) explain certain concepts and words, if the intended audience is western. Also, perhaps have the seppuku guy be really interested in Japanese culture (like, to the point of obsession), otherwise his suicide seems a bit out-of-character for an ordinary human being.
Well the idea behind this, is that after facing the horrors of his ancestors choices, He COMES to appreciate jappanese but was dismissive of it beforehand. That, and im thinking he gets some clue, not a guarantee, but a strong hint, that Properly performed Seppuku would absolve his own descendents, hes doing it to accomplish that, as much as out of any genuine guilt for an ages old crime. and yes the intended audience is western lol.
Oh ha, forgive me for totally missing the point! Does he have children? Plenty of parents would do anything to save them and I'll more willingly believe that a guy performs seppuku to save his kids, than because he feels guilty about what a distant ancestor did hundreds of years ago (though that could factor in- perhaps it allows him to understand the Daimyo's need for revenge). By the way, I'm half Japanese
Yes am thinking the guy has a son and daughter, guesses on how this works with Mythology? Trying to avoid butchering it too badly, but cant afford to be a slave to to the letter of things either, especialy when most bits of mythology become contradictery after a while.
I like the idea, but it seems a tad hackneyed. Ancient ghost is reawakened with a vengeance. I think the ending is a good way to break out of that, gives the story something original and fresh. Of course, you've given me but the bare skeleton of the story, and much of what makes a story good is the language anyway, not the plot (although that does matter too). So go for it, I'd be interested to read over it!
A story concept means nothing. What matters is how you write it: the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's absolutely no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?
thanks for the insight... Any ideas on thesequestions? Im trying to figure out a variety of things, my weakest point is ALWAYS Charachter names, why I write so much fanfic. BEyond that... Im trying to come with a charachter to go with a ROLE , all I have so far, is hes the one who acts as the guys Kaishaku... (or "Second, the one who lops off his head) Im thinking hes as much spiritualist as Swordsman and that he's ethinic jappanese. Thought of everything, from Shinto Priest, to Otaku Nerd, who somehow gets drawn into this affair, to maybe some kind of repressed investigative reporter... Though that raises a question how he'd KNOW how to wield a sword... (as Im wanting a PROPER seppuku, leaving just enough skin left, to leave the head hanging.
