I have a Prologue set 30 years before my Main Plot. A major plot event occurs in the Prologue that sets in motion all that happens in the 30 years between the Prologue and the Main Plot--as well as everything that happens in the Main Plot itself. (I would do away with the Prologue altogether except that it introduces essential elements of the story and the beginning of the two Prologue characters' motivations that I don't believe can be introduced later.) There are two characters in the Prologue, an adult master and an child apprentice. (This is going to sound very Obi-Wan and Anakin, if that helps.) Both characters are major characters in the Main Plot later. Neither is the hero. One becomes the Villain. Here's my issue: Right now the character in the Prologue that I have slated to become the villain in the Main Plot (but isn't yet) wants to turn on a device. Call him Bad Guy (or BG) to keep this simple. At the same time, the character in the Prologue that I have slated to become a good guy in the Main Plot (but isn't yet) wants to destroy the device. (He knows that the device can bring about good or evil, but this is what scares him. The reader doesn't necessarily need to know this, of course. This is part of what I'm asking below.) Call him Good Guy (or GG) to keep this simple. The problem is, I think it's important that it remain unclear to the reader: 1) whether turning the device on or not is good or bad. (I think I mostly have this part right, if that matters) 2) whether the future Bad Guy, in wanting to turn on the device, is doing good or evil by doing so. If anything, it should appear he's doing good here. (I think I have this "kind of" right, because I make it seem like it may be a mistake--even from his perspective--but also he overwhelmingly thinks he should and wants to turn the device on...and so does the reader/audience.) 3) the real motivation for the Good Guy wanting to destroy the device. In other words, it should be unclear to the reader: Is the future Good Guy doing evil...or good here? If anything, it should probably look like he's doing evil here. Am I, the reader, seeing a glimpse of the future Villain here? (Which, of course, they're not.) #3 is where I'm really struggling. The reason #3 matters is simple: I don't want to give away that future Good Guy is the same character in the future when we see him 30 years later; and that the future Bad Guy is the villain. This will be revealed late in the book via flashbacks. They need to remain mysteriously ambiguous in the Prologue. I am looking for plot (or character) devices to make this happen. (This may be better asked in Character Development, so if so, please let me know as I'm a noob on this site. My instinct is that there is a plot trick I can pull here though to sort of misdirect the reader.) My problem with #3 is that both of my alpha readers said essentially: "When reading the Prologue, I knew that the future Good Guy was exactly that. I knew that--even though you made him seem like a cold jerk to the future Bad Guy--he was destroying the device for a good reason. "After all, future Bad Guys don't destroy devices. They use them for their evil plots. "Only Good Guys destroy devices that may bring evil." (So maybe I need some sort of way to misdirect the reader's thinking, perhaps?) Right now, the Prologue (but not Main Plot) is told third person from future Bad Guy's viewpoint/perspective if that matters. I'd appreciate any help I can get, because I'm stumped. An above-and-beyond answer might answer the question(s) posed based on whether: A) the apprentice becomes the villain and the master becomes a good guy (like Obi-Wan and Anakin) B) the master becomes the villain and the apprentice becomes a good guy (how would the answer change if Anakin had stayed good and Obi-Wan had turned to the dark side?) As of right now, I'm writing more towards "A" here, but open to other ideas or even incomplete answers that may spark an idea. Book Information: This is for a children's mid-grade fantasy novel, but the Prologue scene itself is not at all fantasy. It's being written for perhaps 8-12 year olds with 11 year olds as sweet spot.
I think your alpha reader has given you a clue: Make it a device that does good, though keep that secret. Now the roles are reversed in the prologue, and so hopefully that should provide a surprise.
I would eliminate the prologue altogether. Information can always be introduced later. That's essentially all you need to know about how the scene was executed. And that's kind of the problem with a prologue: they stick out as being special or relevant to something that happens later on. And that's doubly so if the prologue is ambiguous. The reader will be instantly keyed to the "mystery" that was introduced under the special label of prologue and will be looking to fill the clues with the information that follows. But if the same scene is hidden within the general chapter/text structure, they might not notice it as much.
I'm on the side of eliminating the prologue if you can. Granted, I don't know your story, so I can't say for sure what's right for you, but prologues in fiction run the gamit of being pretentious purple prose, so you have to be careful. I really only recommend them for delivering objective information, not vague mysteries. That said, I guess you'd have to make clear that the device is capable of good. I think your friend is a bit off in saying only good guys want to destroy machines, but that can be affected by how the scene is written. This may be something you should bring up with a beta reader rather than just presenting in vague to the forums.
Thirded. Is it vital for the reader to know what happens in the prologue before the story starts? If yes, write it. If no, don't. And introduce the elements that're necessary some other way, in bits and pieces maybe. I can't really give you feedback on your question (the device), because I, too, think the devil lies in the way it's written. Off the top of my head I can't offer a way to make something good in evil and vice versa; except maybe through shifting loyalties and wishes. Maybe the bad guy wants to do good at this point in time. Maybe you could make the device ambigious.
Thank you for your responses. Sincerely. I will definitely consider cutting the Prologue, but currently doubting it's possible for a number of reasons. Alpha readers currently agree. That said, any thoughts as to how to do what I was asking?
Its a bit difficult to help because its a bit vague, i can only suggest letting us see the prologue to help?
I would say to forget the prologue. But if you have one make it short simple and clear. Get to the point of what is needed to read the actual story and delete the excess. Maybe you don't know how to introduce motivations later, but is it just an excuse to do a prologue to simplify your job?
Think of it like this: The main storyline follows the viewpoint of a kid. He doesn't know *anything* of the device I'm introducing in the Prologue. The Prologue exists so that I can introduce that device so that the reader knows it exists from Chapter 1 forward, but the main character does not. I have to introduce a device that affects everything in the story--quickly. The Prologue is that way to do it *without* the main characters. I have talked to both of my alpha readers and they absolutely think the Prologue needs to stay for that reason. If it helps, as an example (that one of the alpha readers gave): This is how the first Lord of the Ring movie started. We don't start in the Shire (Hobbiton). We start with a quick overview of the history of Middle Earth and how the Ring was lost in a great battle. You also learn of the main bad guy (though directly), Sauron; and you also learn of many races: Elves, men, orcs, and dwarves. Frodo knows nothing of the ring or Sauron, though admittedly he does very quickly. The Prologue is short, but you get a lot of information very quickly in a non-boring manner.
I think the main thing to ask yourself is: do you need the prologue? I would be tempted to start with a normal chapter, filter information in gradually and then, when you get beta readers, ask them if they feel a prologue is needed. I used to include them when I first began writing and they always ended up being cut and I'd have to do a re-write of the entire script. Prologues are best kept short. Movies tend to manage them very well as they can use visuals to keep the audience watching. In novels it's harder.
i believe what you are looking for is a "less is more" kind of feel. If you want an air of mystery around a character, shroud them in proverbial darkness. Leave only the act that defones their early character and keep the reader guessing. Then you can trickle out the character developement at your own pace. Think about who's perspective the reader will be viewing. Will they take tge role of the MC? 3rd person view of a group of people? Or is this a soap opera that bounces from place to place showing little bits of what it wants you to see? You have to keep details within the perspective that the reader will take.
