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  1. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Novel Scared of my first novel

    Discussion in 'Genre Discussions' started by crappycabbage, Dec 11, 2017.

    (I hope this is the right forum for this, if not, please move it.)

    So, I'm really scared of my first novel. It's the first one I wrote to completion, edited and sent in to publishers, just to get over the fear-hurdle of submitting. The advice said "finish it, get it out there", so I did. I sent it to three smaller publishers and got rejected, and to one of the major publishing houses in my country and got a positive rejection. Now, any sane person who want to be a published writer would go "Yes! Rework it, make it better and send it out again!"

    Apparently, I'm not sane though. I completely ignore it, and squirm when I think about starting re-writes. I don't hate it or anything, I'm very fond of the story, but something is stopping me from working on it again. Instead I write a lot of new stuff without submitting anything, and just basically have this huge guilt all the time because of that first novel that might get me closer to a major goal in my life.

    So, anyone else suffering from this strange behavior? Anyone with any advice? Well, apart from the "stop whining, get some self-discipline and just do it", because I tell myself that all the time and I still haven't even opened the document in two years. It is so frustrating and stupid. And this was just another morning where I got up thinking: "Today is the day", but I seriously doubt it is.
     
  2. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    Are you scared of the book, or the possibility of success? Success is a weird thing, because if you achieve it once the expectation is that you have to do it again. And that can be a little overwhelming. Or, maybe you're afraid that if you rewrite it and re-submit the feedback won't be as positive and you'll have taken a step backwards? As to how to get past it? I don't know. If you're afraid of success, tell yourself you're rewriting it but have no plans to resubmit for... 6 years? Something so far off that you have plenty of time to freak out about it later and you can just work on it at your leisure (eliminating pressure). Hopefully, once you get into it, you'll be excited about it again. If the thing you're scared of is a possible step backwards - edit a copy instead of the original so you can always go back.

    But really? The best advice I can give is - Read it. Don't think "I'm going to start editing this today" or "Today is the day I rewrite!". That's a pretty huge commitment when you already have motivation blocks. Just tell yourself "I'm only going to read it." Odds are, since you haven't touched it in 2 years, it'll haul you right into the things you loved about it to begin with and you'll be excited to work on it again.

    Hopefully I've been helpful in some way. Good luck with it!
     
  3. Lew

    Lew Contributor Contributor

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    Relax, success is out there. You got a positive response from a major publisher, not just a response, but a positive one? Please, frame that and put it on your wall. And keep trying.

    You may or may not need to do a major rewrite, because many rejections are due to timing and not to quality... they are already working, for example, on a similar story to yours... so unless you got constructive critiques along with the rejection, don't feel obligated to do a rewrite. I did get a good critique from one agent on mine, which resulted in a major rewrite of the first three chapters. So just keep on keeping on. Concur with @Trish, just reread it for fun. If there is nothing jarring, leave it alone.

    You indicated you might not be in the US, do agents play an important role in your country's publishing? You might try them rather than going direct to publishers. You might also find out from writers of your genre who have gone direct to publishers, and see if they can help.


    Above all, the hard part is done, the publishing part is not hard, but it can be painful. Just stick your chin out and press onto success!
     
  4. TWErvin2

    TWErvin2 Contributor Contributor

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    Consider working on the new stuff--finishing a second novel. Finding a publisher can take a very long time and unless you know of particular concerns with the first one, let it go out there and try to find a home while you're working on the second.

    Odds are your second novel will be better than your first, as you've probably learned a lot from the process of completing the first. If nothing out, having two novels out looking for a home will 'double' your chances.
     
  5. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    O, gosh! I love the advice of just re-reading it without thinking about working on it, that is brilliant! Because the editing work itself had been so daunting and I worry about all the faults. Also, making a copy and work in that, that is also really good advice, since I tend to re-work over the existing stuff. Thank you! I also think a possible success, and also the "what if it's not gonna get published even if I re-work it", is equally frightening, so you're right about that too. :) Thank you so much for your insightful advice, it makes it all feel a lot less scary. :)
     
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  6. Trish

    Trish Damned if I do and damned if I don't Contributor

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    You're very welcome, and I'm glad it was helpful :)

    EDIT: Because I forgot how to type properly.
     
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  7. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Thank you so much for your encouraging words and your own experience with feedback, they were so calming to hear.

    No, we don't have the agent system for unpublished writers where I live, so we send directly to the publishing house. And we often don't seem get the detailed rejection back. My positive rejection just said that they kept it for an unusual amount of time and that I should take that as a good sign. That was it. We also don't have the same community of writers here as the english-speaking writers do, we have very few forums and very few blogs even talking about writing. Which is why I just love the helpful and warm communities outside of my own country, so if I didn't speak english I'd be so screwed. :D Thank you for your support and your good advice, and yes, I will try to stick my chin out and reach for success... even though I tremble at the thought, heh.
     
  8. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Yeah, you're so right, that's what I heard too; a writer gets better with each novel. That's why I keep thinking I have to rework the first, after having written a few more, but you're so right: I don't really know if it needs all the work I'm imagining. I will definitely think about sending it out again while working on the second one. Thank you so much for the encouragement, and I agree with everything you said.
     
  9. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    I'd never want to rewrite a whole novel - I don't even like editing them. Once the story's been told, I totally lose interest in it.

    So I'd add my voice to those suggesting you start something new. Re-read the old one if you want, but also don't be afraid to abandon it. Writers talk about their "trunked" novels all the time, books they've completed that have never been published that they may or may not ever return to. This can be the first of your trunked novels! An important milestone!
     
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  10. Lifeline

    Lifeline South. Supporter Contributor

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    I'd let it sit and write on something new.

    In addition to getting better with each word, and increasing your chances with two finished works, it puts time-distance between you and your first work. You can come back to it with fresh eyes once story 2 is submitted, and you'll see very likely if there's something you really need to change (because you've in all likelihood forgotten a lot of stuff about the story and can read it without bias).
     
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  11. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Yeah, I still haven't touched it, so maybe it will be the trunked one. I still really like the story, but like you, I feel zero interest in opening it up again and start "fixing" it. Maybe because it was my first real novel, so it took such a darn long time because I was learning as I went, and that time spent is still jerking around in my trauma-center. :D Thank you so much for your advice, I think you have a really good point.
     
  12. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Yes, letting it stew a little bit longer might just be the ticket, because squirming around thinking about it isn't doing much good. I think you're right that I should finish my current project and see how that goes before I even start thinking about the first one again, like really tell myself I'm not allowed to chew on that one for a good while yet. Thank you for your advice on this. :)
     
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  13. Jak of Hearts

    Jak of Hearts Active Member

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    When I finished my first one I sent it everywhere and it got rejected a dozen times. I also couldn't bring myself to re-edit it. I think mostly because I was burnt out on the story, burnt out on reworking it. So I shelved it for 3 years while working on other projects. Then one day I was just like "man I miss that book" so I opened it up and edited the hell out of it. I resubmitted another dozen times. I still got rejected. I felt good with the story and it's my first so I self-published it anyway. Mainly because I wanted to work on the sequels and grow by making new stories. But I completely understand the feeling.
     
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  14. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    The fact that you missed your book and found that energy to work on it again, that's very comforting to me. Thank you for sharing that. The burn-out, that's definitely how it feels. It's crazy how long that first novel takes, I don't think I realised at the time. It's awesome that you decided to self-publish your first novel, and I'll probably do the same thing a few years down the line if no one wants it. If we feel good about a story, that's a very good reason to keep at it. Thank you, and the best of luck with your stories.
     
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  15. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    One thing to think about is that writing this book prepared you for whatever you're going to write next. Our success and failure isn't tied to one thing we write. So what if all the publishing houses reject it? Don't you have another book in you? I bet you do, and you would never be able to write that one without the one that you've got now. That is true no matter how things turn out for you. Good luck.
     
  16. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    O, gosh, you're definitely right about that. I don't regret the time I spent on that first novel, that time was necessary and that's a really good way of looking at it. I definitely have more books in me and I'm working on revising two of them at the moment. Maybe that's why thoughts of my first novel keeps popping up and stressing me out, especially when things get tough with the current projects. :D Thank you for your wise words, and the best of luck with your writing this winter.
     
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  17. Francis de Aguilar

    Francis de Aguilar Contributor Contributor

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    I found it difficult to read an old work without stopping all the time to tweak this, rework that. In the end I made it into an ebook so I could not directly fiddle with it, just read. Nearly worked as well.
     
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  18. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    Yes! I have the exact same problem with this. I know that if I open it up, I won't be able to leave it alone, and I have other stuff I need to finish at the moment. Making it into an e-book, or something that's impossible to edit, that's a very good idea though. Thank you for sharing. :)
     
  19. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    If you leave your first novel long enough, you will be able to read it without tweaking. With any luck, you'll get absorbed in it. That's a good sign that nothing much needs to be changed. On the other hand, if you sit down intending only to read it and are immediately struck by problems, then pay attention to these.

    Don't think of it as 'editing.' Think of it as mindful observation! :) But this is a process I think everybody needs to go through with their writing at some stage ...or at least until they are successful and published, and can pretty much gauge early on whether they're doing the right thing or not.

    Your positive rejection told you two things: 1) it was good enough for them to seriously consider it and 2) not good enough (or suitable enough for their market) for them to actually publish it.

    What you don't know is why they made these two decisions. So you probably need more input. If not by yourself via another reading, maybe by a couple of betas?

    In the meantime, keep writing something else. Publishers don't want 'books,' they want authors. So you'll need to have more than one book in you anyway, if you want to become successful at this game. Once you get Book Two under your belt, I reckon you'll feel a lot more confident.
     
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  20. Francis de Aguilar

    Francis de Aguilar Contributor Contributor

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    [QUOTE=" Publishers don't want 'books,' they want authors.[/QUOTE]

    Well worth remembering. Nice quote.
     
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  21. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    I think you're right about more input, and also right about them wanting to see that I have more books. Thankfully I do, and I have the intent of submitting two of them next year. But first one lies there, glowing in the dark almost, and says; Open me up and look at all the flaws until you wonder what possessed you to write me in the first place. I hate it when books taunt me like that... Thank you so much for your sound advice, I'll definitely try to find some new betas for it, hopefully next year. :)
     
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  22. Integer

    Integer Member

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    Finished a novel last Christmas and so far I've sent it to a grand total of one agent. Which I did last month after a year of procrastination.

    On completion I was inspired and write 1/3 of a second novel in a few weeks, which is, to be honest, much more sellable. I was very excited about both of them.

    But somehow all of that drained away amidst beating myself up over queries I couldn't write and a total lack of interest from family and friends.

    I know I should start the head banging against wall exercise of batch querying but I just don't have it in me at the moment. I will never change another word of that first novel, 4 drafts and it's as written as it's ever going to be. I almost feel physically sick at the thought of starting a fifth.

    The unfinished second just makes me feel guilty.

    Sorry I know this is no help. I thought for some reason the clouds would part when I wrote that book but it just felt like I'd climbed one mountain to find another larger mountain ahead.
     
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  23. Francis de Aguilar

    Francis de Aguilar Contributor Contributor

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    I have almost the same story to tell. Though I have now finished the second, and, after a few false starts and a tether long short, am into a third book. I had that feeling about any changes to number one, but I sent it out to a few more readers after about a year, got some more feedback and went through it again. The best advice I can give you is to write every day, whatever it is (I kind of consider editing writing too) . I know that one day I will write that query letter, I will get help from this forum and it will become my focus.
     
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  24. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    You know, it is a huge comfort to hear that someone is having the same sort of experience.

    We share similarities here. Responses from family and friends seems to be mix of "who do you think you are, trying to be a writer", and just zero interest. I also sent the book out to very few publishing houses, I could have sent it out to others and kept submitting, but for some reason I didn't. Maybe it was the whole: Oh, it's your first book, it's gonna suck. Put it away and write the next one. It will be better. Or just a feeling of shame maybe, like yeah, who do I think I am? I'm not a great writer at all, I just love stories.

    I write even more now than before I submitted, but since that first book I seem to stumble on the finishing line with every novel, perhaps so I won't have to submit again... because the world will explode? It's just odd, isn't it? I want to be published, definitely. There are just a lot of mixed feelings about it, and when you say that you don't have it in you to query again, I know the feeling. I can't explain it, but I definitely feel it.

    Maybe the other posters are right, that we just need more time between ourselves and that first book. Maybe there is such a thing as a post-querying slump. I really hope that we can pick ourselves up from it though, and get our stuff out there again. That we keep writing and take joy in that until then.

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It definitely helps. It can be lonely being a writer, but a writer who dreads the submitting, that's even lonelier. :)
     
  25. crappycabbage

    crappycabbage Member

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    I agree. As long as we keep writing, sooner or later hopefully we'll wake up one day and just say "Screw it. I'm doing this now", whether it's querying, re-working or whatever. And the kind support of the WF is definitely helping a lot.
     

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