(I apologize in advance for any persons this thread may offend) I need a quip about ED that my villain character says to my male MC. Background: my MC had a bad childhood accident that has left him badly scarred, moderately deformed, half blind from head trauma, and with a limp. Also as part of his head trauma, his personality had changed, making him prone to erratic mood swings. He's taken to isolating himself from his family and community. His depression and insecurities are a big part of the first half of my WIP. Because of his traumas, it was thought that he wouldnt be able to "function" with a woman and that it was best for him to become an Elder (a holy man who lives alone and communicates with the Gods). The second part is him coming out of his shell of isolation. Growing more confident. spending more time in the village. Falling in love. the villain is a childhood friend of his who knew him before his accident and, despite his lack of romantic interest in her, is obsessed with him (basically playing off of his insecurities and weaknesses to keep him dependent on her and their friendship.... which is part of the big climax of the WIP). I want her to try to (verbally) hurt him when she sees him with his love interest. Of all the things to hurt and embarrass him, it's talking about his manhood. What I have now is her saying "I'm glad your accident only left you with one limp." but I don't feel like it's clear enough what she means.
He walks with a limp? And she says to him, "I'm glad you only have one limp?" Then, it doesn't sound like she is poking fun at/referring to/recognizing the other limp at all. "Man is a three-legged creature, and two of your legs limp."
That's very good. I was going to suggest it could start "A man..." but changed my mind. Not sure I want to piss off either one of ye on this form. My effort, on watching him carry his injured leg: Oh that stiffness. There's medications, you know, that can help with that. I'm sure there's medications for things that aren't so stiff as well.
Maybe she refers to him as "A limp man" rather than a limping man? Maybe she says it with an arch smile and pauses for a moment. Or she could say, in speaking about him—"A man with a limp... " and leave a pause there as if there's supposed to be anotehr word.
No pun intended, of course. To his beloved, "Good luck, dear. Perhaps you can get a rise out of him when so many others have failed."
This could get nasty, thrilled to see more but this is my last entry. Oh, you have a girlfriend. Isn't that nice. After everything that happened to...you know... And good call. No-one would ever suspect she's still a virgin.
@Catriona Grace , you're the perfect villain for this story don't change! ---- I ended up going with variations of Xoic's "limp/limping man" and "get a rise out of him." She's not a honeybee-- she stings twice
