I was wondering if it would okay to liken human conscience to water. Do you find these natural? 1. The doctor told him Gina would've survived had he brought her sooner to the hospital. This rocked the waters of his conscience like a violent summer storm. 2. He was a psychopath. Nothing could so much as ripple the murky waters of his conscience. 3. Somewhere in the backwaters of her conscience, she blamed herself for her daughter's failure.
Sure, I've seen similar metaphors plenty of times. As for your specific examples, I've given my thoughts below. 1. The wording here felt clunky and unnatural. I think the comparison would work better in an extended metaphor, where you could first establish the connection between water and consciousness, then compare the information to a summer storm, instead of trying to do both at once. 2. The metaphor itself is clear, though the transition between the first and second sentences felt abrupt. 3. The third one felt natural
I probably wouldn't have chosen water as a metaphor for the human conscience, but reading your sample sentences I think they convey your thoughts very well.
I have issues with #1 and #3 but it's more semantics. To me, a conscience is usually a more active real time process for evaluating decisions that haven't been made yet. It's part of a human consciousness but mainly related to decision making. But this just may be me, I may have a narrow definition of 'conscience'. To me, when bearing the effects of decisions already made, the conscience isn't involved, unless you say 'guilty conscience'. And guilty conscience is often invoked when no repercussions occur. Like when someone has a guilty conscience after cheating on their spouse, regardless of whether the spouse will know. And the conscience is active, nagging them to atone somehow, perhaps to confess. I'm dating myself, but there used to be a tv show called 'Herman's Head' and whenever he was in a dilemma three people (a good, bad, and neutral angel I think) would debate inside his head what the right thing to do is. That's what I think of as 'conscience'
1 and 3 are not examples of conscience. Your conscience is what tells you something you've done is morally right or wrong. And a psychopath would have no conscience. I suspect you mean "consciousness".
Hello me, it's me again You can subdue, but never tame me It gives me a migraine headache Sinking down to your level ~Dave Mustaine lyrics, from Sweating Bullets
Dredged up from childhood memories over half a century old: You love yourself, you think you're grand. You go to the movies, you hold your hand. You put your arm around your waist, And when you get fresh, you slap your face.
You liken anything to anything as long as it makes sense, and make sure it's not too 'on the nose' or too vague/figurative. Too on the nose and you might as well say it as it is. Too vague and it might as well be symbolism.
I was flying Boston to Phoenix once, long ago, the pilot tannoyed all us passengers.. (a word in ours shells like) announced we’d be an hour late, said there was a 200 knot headwind, ‘on the nose’. V. visual — quite a symbolic line too, as it’s stuck in memory for decades.
