1. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Magic, Drugs, Fupa, Spaceships, and More: The Adventures of, well, me . . . frigocc

    Discussion in 'Progress Journals' started by frigocc, Jun 7, 2019.

    This will be a long and slow process, but going to be keeping track of all of my different projects and ideas here. I'll try to update daily, but, you know, life and all.



    Deadbeat's Guide To Becoming A Hero

    IDEA: Average deadbeat loser from Boston is down on his luck. His girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend, and he got fired from his job. He decides that he wants to do more with his life, so he decides to become a superhero. Realizes it's not as easy as it seems. Hard to take a quick dump in spandex, too. Humorous story that's more about the journey than anything. Decided that I'm going to make this a standalone book. I had ideas for sequels, but feel like they'd be better-suited for a different series I'm working on. This one, while having quick wit, and narrator/character back and forth, will be absurd humor, just not on the level of the other stories. It just wouldn't fit this story, having cars running on duck sauce and such.

    PROGRESS: About 10k words in.


    The Asshatssins

    IDEA: A confident, alpha male marksman joins an alliance of inept, dim-witted hitmen based out of London. Paired with Nicholas, the most dim-witted of them all, Oliver tries to bring order and respect to the once-great organization — and he's quickly laughed out of the room. Absurdist story that also is about the journey, rather than the climax, like all of my works are.

    PROGRESS: One scene down


    Lou, The Chosen One (title is a work in progress)

    IDEA: Lou Clark is unlike most Aurelians. He's balding, he's just under the average height, and he'd rather sit at home playing video games than go out in the real world. When he discovers he's The Chosen One, everything changes — well, not really. Nothing changes. Training is too damn hard. Why go to another planet when he can just stay at home and jack off? He has everything he needs and more. This is definitely a work in progress, so no plot fleshed-out yet. Parody of The Chosen One trope. This will also branch off to the sequels instead of them being sequels for Deadbeat's Guide.

    PROGRESS: Two paragraphs, lol.


    Magic, Drugs, and the Great State of California (another title work in progress)

    IDEA: Larry Squatter doesn't know his real name. He was raised in the foster system, and made a few stops in juvie. But these days, he spends his time housesitting for homowners on vacation — well, until they come home, that is. "Get off my damn property, you damn squatter!" He doesn't need to. The great state of California has his back. He lives rent-free, and spends most of his days high on drugs. When he learns from a mysterious stranger that he's actually a wizard, he sees this as an opportunity to do something great with his life: never pay for drugs again! In between adult education classes at the local community wizarding school, he perfects the art of not just making drugs, but distributing them! With just a flick of a wand, this once-downtrodden druggie becomes an entrepreneur.

    PROGRESS: Just a concept, ATM.


    King Arthuritis and His Kites

    IDEA: An aging King Arthuritis must cast away his kite-flying hobby, and come out of retirement for one final mission. Something something something, I dunno yet.

    PROGRESS: Concept


    Funny EMT-Basic Guide

    IDEA: Studying for the EMT-Basic was boring. Not hard, just boring. So why not package all of the information you need into a humorous novel? Not meant to replace actual NREMT study materials, but more of a comedic look at the world of EMTs.

    PROGRESS: Concept


    The Forgotten Bands: Obscure Rock of the 60's, 70's, and Beyond

    IDEA: Non-fiction. Huge rock/metal fan here, and I think it's fun to discover awesome bands that have fallen into obscurity. Whether it's the great blues band Earth that turned into a heavy metal Black Sabbath one year later, or Billy Joel's metal band, Attila, that literally made ear bleed with it's amplified organ, there are tons of undiscovered or forgotten bands out there that this generation will never otherwise hear of. Biggest hangup to this is getting copyright for pictures, or somehow taking my own (might be a good excuse to travel to different countries!).

    PROGRESS: Haven't written it in a book format yet, but a lot of the info-gathering is already up on my Instagram page. With some shiny editing, and some more in-depth looks at these bands, should be a good start.


    The Frugal FIREfighter

    IDEA: Book about financial independence and retiring early geared at firefighters, and their unique situations with schedules, incentives, benefits, pensions, assistance programs, etc.

    PROGRESS: Concept


    Presidential Elections Don't Matter

    IDEA: This would take more work to research, but something I want to write anyways. Basically, I believe that it doesn't really matter much who wins Presidential elections in America. There are too many safeguards in place for anything too crazy to happen, almost all elected Presidents are actually pretty moderate, and bad policies are quickly undone by the next President. Would want to look into the policies of current and former Presidents to prove this, and show that we should instead put our focus on things like the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

    PROGRESS: Concept


    Football Math

    IDEA: A guide on how to implement mathematical concepts into your football coaching. Will talk about creating formations, wide receiver splits, how to adjust to formations/motion, how long routes and cuts should be, how deep your safeties should be, etc. All using mostly-basic math (with some calculus, for those that want to read that section). I love coaching football, and I think understanding the math behind it can make you a better coach. Now, do I expect you to calculate a derivative on the field? No. But can you use some simple trig to determine WR splits when creating a formation? Yes!

    PROGRESS: Concept
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
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  2. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Contributor Contributor

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    So you don't have a project but a production pipeline.

    Good luck to those project which you will pick under hard work!
     
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  3. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Pretty much, lol. And I'll need the good luck. I feel like I can write at least moderately entertaining, but when it comes to plot, I have no idea what I'm doing.

    Anyways, first lazy update after like a week. Haven't really worked on Deadbeat's. Have been hammering away at the Lou Clark intro, since I don't really have a plot yet. I mean, I have a general idea of what I want to do, but I'm having trouble transitioning from the intro to the actual story (mostly because I don't have the specifics down yet).

    Again, it's really a problem of writing the journey, and not with an overarching plot.

    Some notes I've taken for future reference regarding this text. Might make zero sense without context, but oh well.:

    "Okay, I'll just snap my fingers, then. What do you think I am, a magician?"

    "Well . . . yes. You are a magician."

    "Ugh, fine."

    -----------

    "We'll use the auto-incorrect device to prevent the dictatorial Zarth from getting re-elected!"

    And use the device, they did. Unfortunately for them, the silent majority of the populace much agreed with his fresh new perspective on the issues, and wholeheartedly elected Zarth Supreme Leader of the galaxy.
     
  4. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Wrote a few paragraphs of Lou Clark's story. Will get back on track soon, but studying for two of the most important tests of my life coming (one academic, one physical). Academic one is the 18th, physical, the 25th. After that, I should be writing (and posting) more frequently.

    Mostly just writing little tidbits here and there that I'll eventually use in my story. Here's one about a character going into a shoe store:

    "Are you mental?"

    Lou looked at the man, confused. "What?"

    "The sign clearly says, 'no shoes, no service!'"

    "But my planet hasn't even invented shoes yet . . ."

    "Sorry. I don't make the rules."

    "This is your store, is it not?"

    "Yes. And?"

    "So, you do, in fact, make the rules."

    "Yes, but—"

    "And this is a shoe store, yes?"

    "I suppose you have a point."
     
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  5. Maverick_nc

    Maverick_nc Active Member

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    Hey Frigocc, hope you're well.

    I love your ideas and the sense of humour you write with, but be careful. You sound like an 'ideas guy' which is great, but be careful you don't keep skipping from one brilliant idea to the next without finishing anything, I know from experience it very easy to do just that!

    All the best
    NC
     
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  6. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Oh, I'm definitely an ideas guy. Not even just with books. I have so many ideas for inventions (most of which have probably been taken, like a parabolic-shaped toilet) that I'll never do anything with, lol. Anyways, while writing is taking a backseat leading up to my tests, I'm going to go all-out after the tests. Just trying to figure out what should be my focus. Of course, I already have about 10k words of Deadbeat's Guide, but I think if I truly wanted to make the best first novel possible, I'd go with the Lou Clark one. With that being said, here's another useless idea, this time for Deadbeat's Guide:


    "Drop down, and give me 25!" William shouted.

    "Alright." Bill moved into the front-leaning rest position.

    William chuckled loudly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I do that thing where I rearrange numbers and letters."

    "You mean dyslexia?"

    "Is that how you say it? I thought it was dleyxsia!"

    "No, I'm pretty sure it's dyslexia."

    William shifted his eyes to the right, and scratched his head. "Are you sure?"

    "Yeah."

    "Hmm. Okay, then. Drop down and give me 52!"

    "52? I can't do 52 pushups!"

    "Why 52 pickup, of course!" William pulled out a deck of cards, and flooded the ground with Aces of Spades.

    "That minging cheater!" Gregory exclaimed. "I knew he had 52 aces up his sleeve!"
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
  7. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Going to try to finally break through the wall today, and actually start plotting out my Lou Clark story after studying. I can think of all of the comedic asides in the world, but I still need to surround them with a semi-interesting plot.
     
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  8. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    I think one of my problems is that I work on things at the sentence level. I have all of these ideas that I write, but I focus on getting every last word, every last comma, and every last loose-end aside to thread back to the previous point. Basically, I want my writing to be tight. Very tight. I don't just want to create a good first novel, I want to feel like there is no possible way I could have written it better. I want every single paragraph to have punch.
     
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  9. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Contributor Contributor

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    Don't get it right. Get it done.

    Then rewrite an rewrite and rewrite until it's good.

    Don't polish before all the rewrites.

    Don't rewrite before it is done - from the start to the end.

    Think it like this:

    Your eleventh big writing project will be published or produced - but only if your skills develop in every project before that. Your first 10 projects are training for that eleventh.

    If you write 5 pages a day, you can write 300 page book in 60 days. Then you can rewrite it as many times you want to.

    If you write only 2 pages a day, it takes 150 days to write that 30 page book. Then you can rewrite it as many times you want to.

    You can develop anything and everything in background. You just take care that you write about X pages a day and 7X pages a week and 30x pages a month.

    You do that and soon you have several manuscripts.

    Don't write a book, not even books. Write yourself a writing life, a career.
     
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  10. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Good advice. Though, couldn't quite write this week. Had all my important tests. Passed both! Career changing tests, both of them! So that's the great news.

    So, since I want my first novel to be the Lou Clark story, and I want to rewrite my Deadbeat's Guide in a more realistic, less absurd way, I think I'll take a lot of Deadbeat's Guide as it currently stands, and transplant it to the Lou Clark story. I know people have said the intro is overkill, but honestly, those two paragraphs are exactly the kind of style I'm going for. Anyways, here's another disappointing intro. This is a very unpolished start to my funny EMT book (this will be tough to do, putting an entire reference text in a novel).

    ---



    Wilson Frank’s journey began much like most do, and little like many don't: as a cluster of mostly-insignificant cells, born in the darkness, molded by it. But his journey soon veered from the path of normalcy. Mr. Frank’s cells weren’t just any cells, after all. They had an exquisite sense of style, matched only by Billy Schlepinger’s three-piece-clad myocytes, and pre-puberty Jensen Miller’s red blood cells, which much preferred the tophat look until they later devolved into the more primitive look of the World Wrestling Entertainment Homo neanderthalensis. They had the most aesthetic of shapes, not dissimilar to the circle, or the donut, or those sticky hand things you slap against the wall. Their most appealing quality, however, was their uncanny ability to endure their host’s long-winded expositions about her day at the beach, drinking mojitos in Cancun.


    After a while, these expositions were far too much, and far too frequent for Mr. Frank’s cells to handle, and they proceeded to commit seppuku, a high crime in the kingdom of Ghanda. Fortunately, Mr. Frank’s host was not from Ghanda. Unfortunately, Mr. Frank’s story ends there. But with death, comes more life. Or something like that. Enter Lou Gallagher.


    Lou Gallagher was a pretty ordinary man. He had no Esquire-esque cells, nor any particularly interesting facts about himself. He was a touch above the average height for his age group. He was just slender enough to take up only one seat on the airplane, while simultaneously being just poor enough to not be able to fly on said plane in the first place. Lou was of moderate intelligence, but always did rather poorly on tests, boasting a higher APGAR score than ACT score. He once was stopped for jaywalking, but was let off with a verbal warning.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
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  11. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Working on my Lou Clark story. I know I said I'd plot it all out, but right after my tests, I had vacation, lol. Will get back on the horse today. To show how amateurish I actually am, I thought about another dumb idea: a narcoleptic narc. Have no idea where I'd go with it, just a fleeting thought.

    Thoughts on the EMT stuff above? I know there are references that most won't get until later (like, what the hell an APGAR score is), but it'll all come full-circle.
     
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  12. Maverick_nc

    Maverick_nc Active Member

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    Not enough there to really comment on yet Frigocc, wait until you have more then post in the workshop. I'll admit, I have no idea why I was reading about Frank in the first two paragraphs - I assume it ties in somehow but it doesn't currently seem to have much connection. And for Lou, are you going to fill in his entire description and some back story in the opening paragraph? I'd suggest drip feeding this info a little more slowly.

    (Narcoleptic narc - add him as a character! I know you're thinking of separate novels for most of your stuff, but to me it all still seems to belong together, including the assasins)

    Look forward to reading more from you soon.

    NC
     
  13. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    The whole Frank thing is just a pointless section. I give you backstory about a moderately interesting character, and then he immediately commits suicide, and is never heard about again. The story is actually about Lou Gallagher (just a placeholder name). As for dumping all description at once, I won't do that. The above will be about as much character description that I'll do to that point.

    And I agree about possibly adding the narcoleptic narc as a character. Don't think I would even want to make that into a standalone thing. Was just a fleeting thought.

    I'm just trying to think about which of these projects to pursue FIRST. I'll eventually get them all done, but can't figure out which would make the best first novel. I'm thinking possibly the EMT one, as, it being my field, the required research will keep me on top of my game at my job.
     
  14. Maverick_nc

    Maverick_nc Active Member

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    That was kinda what i'm saying - if its a pointless section in your own words then why does it exist?
    For my money, I'd like to see a first chapter of the newly combined Lou and Deadbeats - plus I think it'd be fun to write once you really get into the meat of the story. The EMT stuff isn't a novel is it? I have doubts about the validity of a funny textbook in general but if you go that route I wish you all the best with it.

    NC
     
  15. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Yes, it will be a novel in that it'll have a novel-like story, but it'll also have some funny doodles, an index, cheat sheets, and everything you'd need to actually prepare for the NREMT. It'll be a very tough task, balancing storytelling and teaching all of that content, but it's more of a long-term project. I've thought about potentially making it a humorous introduction to EMT coursework, but not necessarily a full-on study guide for the NREMT.

    But yeah, I'm definitely going to be rewriting my Deadbeat's stuff into Lou's story. The style of Deadbeat's simply fits the Lou story better. For the current Deadbeat's, I want it to be more realistic. And possibly from a first-person perspective.
     
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  16. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Thought about even changing Deadbeat's to a screenplay, as that's how it was initially written anyways. I'll post up the original tomorrow.
     
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  17. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Finally starting to create a plot for Lou's story. At first, I wanted to make it just basic, where little happens, and there's no real climax, but after finishing Dimensions of Miracles by Robert Sheckley today, I've realized that I need to step my game up. I need to tell a story that's funny AND epic, not just funny.
     
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  18. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Working on Lou's story. Was thinking of having something ridiculous, like the antagonist having Alzheimer's or something.

    Hi, I'm Zoltar! Who are you?

    "Lou? The Chosen One?"

    "Oh, okay . . . what do you want?"

    "You're supposed to kill me?"

    "Right now?"

    "Yes."

    "Of course!" Zoltar exclaimed. "Who are you again?"

    "Lou."

    "Hi, Lou! I'm Zoltar!"

    Dumb, but maybe something like that. I dunno. Or maybe have the evil version of the Chosen One still be a baby, and some charlatan "translating" its "goo goo, gah gahs" into "execute the prisoners!"

    Just some twist that kinda flips the Chosen One stuff on its head. Could maybe even be as simple as the climax with the antagonist being a battle of wits in conversation, like Tom speaking to Melichrone in Dimensions of Miracles (even though that wasn't the bad guy).
     
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  19. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    I had my own mini epiphany. After a ton of thought, I've figured out the large majority of both my overarching plot, and most important scenes. I've figured out a good way to start my story, while still leaving the ending I want, available. May seem like a cliche ending at the end of the day, and a ripoff of its precursors, but it's the ending I want, and it's the right ending for the story.

    Now is the hard part. I have the plot, I have the scenes, I have a rough draft of my beginning, but now I need to put the polymeric-based composite material to the aluminum, and write the actual prose.
     
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  20. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    I goofed. Footwells are usually iron-carbon alloys, not aluminum.

    Anyways, starting to write the actual prose now. This is the long, boring part. I much prefer thinking of ideas than to have to actually type them on my keyboard. Anyways, I think I have my plot pretty well-put-together. It has the right amount of action, room for character development, and a logical order of events. Thinking of putting my plot summary in the workshop, and seeing if people would like it.
     
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  21. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    I've finished chapter 1! Of course, it's far from polished, so I'll have to do tons of editing once I'm done. I'll make some edits along the way here and there as I find stuff that fits better, but the important part is that I'm actually progressing through the story. Once I have all the little details written out, even in unpolished, then I can go back and edit. Honestly, most of my edits have to do with describing settings, or finding things to say instead of "Lou shrugged," or, "Garth grumbled."

    It's a little over 2k words, so over 4% done already, lol. Shooting for 50-60k.
     
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  22. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    Haven't posted any updates in a while. Once again, I ended up going back to rework my intro, but I feel as if it's so much better. Still has humorous content, but is far less overkill, and actually moves the plot forward. My first action comes in after only like a page and a half.

    But have been writing anyways. Not necessarily in order, though. As I think of more and more ideas, I'm jumping between different scenes, and adding to them. But, at the end of the day, it'll all culminate in one linear story.

    Even added a humorous joke (with huge implications) to the ending, possibly in an epilogue.
     
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  23. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    I've been writing a lot, but I feel like my novel so far is very dialogue-heavy. Scared it'll be a problem down the line, if I ever present it to an agent.

    Also, thinking of taking the Deadbeat's Guide, and instead of making it as a single novel, turn it into an entire website, where each week, I give a different tip and sometimes other things. Basically, it'll be a (tongue-in-cheek, but still accurate) guide to become a real-life superhero. Will play on tons of tropes, and have some other features on the site, too (like humorous superhero shirts, superhero name and power generators, etc.)
     
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  24. frigocc

    frigocc Senior Member

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    May have mentioned it previously (don't remember), but have also thought about turning some of the ideas into comedy sketches. Only problem is, my voice sucks, no good camera, and I can't act. Oh well...

    Anyways, haven't been as busy writing or as active here because I'm going through a rigorous hiring process for my dream job. I should have the offer by early October.
     
  25. EFMingo

    EFMingo A Nefarious Flamingo Contributor

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    The best jobs have the worst interview processes. Five full length interviews for mine. Awful.
     

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