Making dragons relatable but not human?

So, you see from my signature, all my characters are dragons. That's not strictly true of course. There's Sartigar, the snake, and the Rishnaran, who is human but not referred to as such.

One problem someone had was that my characters felt like humans with a coat of dragon slapped on. The taverns and dialogue did that for them, mostly. Don't know why to do about the buildings, cities, etc, since I feel they've necessary to the plot. (Which you can read in my progress journal.) I am writing a new draft where I demodernize the dialogue a bit.

Another reader actually said something about the opposite-- because they're dragons, they're not that relatable. So I have two opposite but not necessarily conflicting pieces of advice here. Can you help me dragonize my characters while keeping them relatable?

 

I'm not sure what 'humans with a coat of dragon slapped on' really means, but it seems like you might need to narrow down the problem here. Is it just that they're unrelatable characters, and their being dragons has nothing to do with it? If they have similar values and/or personalities to humans, they just need to be well-written and believable like any human character. If you want them to be more ... dragony? (I know the word's draconic but that doesn't seem to apply here somehow) / alien, then they're not going to be as relatable. You need to decide what you want here: is it alien characters who are interesting but not so relatable, or is it dragons with the same emotional cores as human? And once you decide, you need to stick to it, regardless of other people's opinions. You can't listen to and please everyone.

 

I think that the thing to ask yourself is, given the combination of dragon power and intelligence, what feels realistic. An intelligent being is not going to live in a cave without a front door when it could easily build a luxurious home with an underground vault for its treasure. If your dragons have human intelligence or dexterity, I say just keep on with what you're doing, but at the same time, play around with where they differ, for example, I doubt there would be much value in flammable materials if they have fire breath, or perhaps catering for flight in your designs.

 

It's funny l, actually, because I thought firebreathing would be too unwieldy, so I didn't give it to them. But they do make firebreathing references in poetry and eat spicy food which sort of simulates fire breath. Example: the imagery in this song. They have also say their prehistoric ancestors could breathe fire.
Also, I'm wondering if they should have paper money because it's lighter to fly with. But paper money seems too modern to me, so I'm thinking small coins with large denominations would work better. Special coins would be rare; you don't see many thousand dollar bills after all. (Do they exist?) But it would help when the emperor pays someone a handsome sum that they have to fly with.

 

There are plenty of non-human characters that have human personality, so that's not so much an issue. Most of the stories that do this also have humans, or at least one human MC, but there are a few that don't. Lion King, Robots with Robin Williams (may he rest in peace), Ants and Bug's Life, these being the only ones that I can conjure up in my mind atm. I don't know of any books, and all these stories happen to also be children's movies, but that's more coincidence (what can I say, I like animation). The point is that in all of these stories, the characters acted with human characteristics. Emotion, mannerisms, desires and habits. These are the things that make us human, having these displayed will bring life to and make them feel relatable. Not sure why anyone would say that this was an issue.

I would also suggest checking who is giving advice. Just because it's a forum of writers does it mean everyone here is an experienced storyteller or great novelist. A lot of us, like myself, are still learning. That being said, I have studied storytelling for quite some time; it still doesn't mean every story I tell will be great, but I am confident in my knowledge of the foundations. In writing, I do know that characters are much more difficult to bring to life on a page than they are in a movie. At the same time, I've watched plenty of movies with characters that felt like corpses being propped up and expected to act. Regardless, bringing life to a character is the hard part, no matter the medium. In a book, you want your characters gripped in some sort of riveting dialogue, with some sort of emotional base. They need to be angry, sad, jealous, excited, grieved, something.

You don't want to just have two characters talking back and forth having a discussion about the what day is like outside, or how they've been doing lately while they drink tea. Unless it's the Mad Hatter's tea party, and he's being his usual self, then talking about nonsense will just be boring...there's no "small talk" in a book (and maybe that's why I have trouble with small talk in real life, for that matter). This is what brings out human emotion on an otherwise blank page, things that grip the reader. It doesn't always have to be an extreme emotion, but the emotion that's chosen does need to be done to its extreme, if that makes sense. Being dragons doesn't matter, but how they act does, and since they are dragons you can choose things that bring out that feeling. In Tolkien, Smaug was greedy and arrogant, and very vain. Not saying make them like that, but you can find something that makes your characters act like dragons (maybe that's what the one critique meant by making them less human and more dragon).

 

Perhaps because you have them using taverns? That just goes so far against my idea of a dragon that, at face value, it's almost comic.

If they're doing things that are 'human', especially if they don't seem to be very 'draconic', like drinking in taverns and sitting on a throne, I'm just going to imagine big old lizards clumsily lounging around and trying to hold flagons with talons.

 

Well, they have talons on their feet, but not on their hands. Look at my avatar. That should give you a pretty good idea of what they look like.

 

You know what might be a good strategy? If you read books where all or most of the main characters were of a different breed of creature and see how the author fleshed out their characters. How did they make them both relateable and their own species of beast? I read a trilogy that followed a bunch of orcs, for instance.

 

If that's what you want to write, then do it. Just because people don't like the style/theme/aesthetic you've chosen, doesn't mean it's badly written. I had a critiquer once offer to read my WIP, so I gave them a bit. After a day they said very politely "I don't read this genre." I was a little sad at first, but they were good about explaining that they just wouldn't be interested, so they would just be picking apart my setting, without helping me write it.

I think @NiallRoach saying "Dragons don't drink beer." means he just doesn't like the aesthetic you've chosen. He's not wrong for knowing what he wants out of a story. I can't stand Harry Potter because it's about a bunch of whiny high school kids. Am I wrong? Obviously. Am I going to read it? No.

This is just par the course for critiques. I had a Beta reader tell me my plot was awesome, but was muddled by all the character interactions. Meanwhile, an Alpha reader told me my character interactions were the best part of the book.

This sounds crazy, but you have to critique the critiques of your work. If someone says. "Your idea doesn't interest me." That's probably not the right audience.

https://encyclopedia.ermarian.net/wiki/Slithzerikai

 

Zoupskim swooping in and nailing it.

 

I think if characters are written well, then they should be lovable or relatable regardless of species... or gender, race, etc., for that matter.

 

I would suggest writing out some ground-rules for yourself on how they will react to various situations, at least stereotypically. I.e. Humans have Fight-or-Flight responses.

One thing you can do is give them human emotions but heavily over-emphasize some or underemphasize others. Perhaps a dragon is more prone to aggression? Less prone to being hurried (based on reptiles sunning themselves)? Generally, what I mean is that your readers will be able to on some level be able to connect with their actions, but at the same time feel a slight disconnect because they wouldn't act in the same fashion and don't see the average human acting that way. Just little reminders here and there of "these characters you're bonding with? Yeah, they're still dragons."

I don't feel that having a tavern would necessarily make a race of sentient dragons unrealistic. Every human group developed alcohol if I remember correctly, and even some animals try to get drunk. So I don't think alcohol would be a no-go.
If semi-humanoid dragons are social creatures like humans, they will therefore have taverns at some point in their timeline.

Fire-breathing could be an interesting dynamic, I think. I know you already said you're foregoing it, but you could easily make it a parallel to the Gun-Control debate of modern times.

 

Can you summarize why buildings, cities, and taverns seem necessary to the plot? Have you considered changing them?

For example, a building is a place where people gather and things are stored. Some of that functionality could be fulfilled by a cavern, or a garden, or a courtyard.

A tavern is a place where people gather and consume food and legal drugs. Some of that functionality could be fulfilled by, oh, a hunting ground, where the dragons gather, smoke some mild intoxicant (or perhaps breathe intoxicating smoke coming from firepits, to add the element where the owner of the site is providing the intoxicant), and hunt and messily eat small mammals.

A city is a place with lots of buildings and taverns and other facilities. Some of that functionality could be filled by a large area of land, much of it rocky and filled with caves and caverns, other parts lush and green and used for hunting grounds.

 

It's funny because instead of alcohol they basically have soda. The reason they don't drink alcohol is because they think it's gone bad. Then there's the Vrakardians, that DO drink alcohol, and the Khrizans are like, ew, why are you drinking month old ale? And the Vrakardians are like, this has been aged for three years. Want some? It gives you a crazy buzz. And my characters see what drunkenness looks like and they're like, no thanks.

I originally had firebreathing, but it was just too cumbersome. Could they control it in their sleep? Wouldn't forest fires be rampant? How would they not destroy everything if they screwed up? etc...
If I go back and write about prehistoric, wild dragons, they'll get firebreathing. They've got a little more room for that kind of thing.

 

See my progress journal for a full synopsis. https://www.writingforums.org/threads/rkthos-progress-journal-swordfist.151560/
Also, I read in ancient times, taverns had rooms one could stay in for the night. This is true, right?

 

Sorry, I didn't want to do a lot of research into your work to answer your questions. (I did look, but I can't find where the need for buildings/cities/taverns was explained without proceeding to read a bunch of other links. Edited to add: If you can point me to a specific place to read that does address it, I'd be happy to do that--it's the searching and doing lots of reading I'm not willing to do.) I realize that may mean that you don't want my answers.

Well, "Inns" probably did. I don't know if a tavern also always qualified as an inn.

 

What do you mean? Did you just not want to look for my synopsis? What links are you referring to? (If it's the first one, I've copied it here.)

Spoiler

Zarakharn arrives home late at night after a journey. (Zarakharn often takes leave this way, alone,and the nature of the journey is left undisclosed.) Immediately, Zarakharn proceeds to meet in private with Daktarash, a thief, who is already waiting there for him. Zarakharn, having descended into the criminal underworld on one of his excursions, learned thatDaktarash had procured a sword he is looking for and arranged for them to meet. After verifying the sword's authenticity, Daktarash informs Zarakharn that he has to leave to do business with a crime lord namedKharda, who does not like to be kept waiting. (Daktarash assumes this issafe to disclose because he won't beat Kharda's for long.) Zarakharn pays Daktarash and Daktarash leaves-- the room, at least. He sticksaround the palace long enough to steal a valuable crystal belonging to Zarakharn. This is done in the presence of Sartigar, Zarakharn's snake, who has dragonlike intelligence unbeknownst toDaktarash. Sartigar alerts Zarakharn to the theft, and Zarakharn teleports to Kharda's immediately.
Daktarash stops midflight to inspectthe crystal and realizes it is not as valuable as he first believed. The crystal emits a blinding flash and hechucks it into the river. He hears it shatter, but when he flies off, it floats to the surface and heads downstream.
Daktarash does business with Kharda. After the transaction, Zarakharn reveals that he has been there waiting for Daktarash (who didn't know Zarakharn couldteleport and assumed he couldn't apprehend him in time.) The policetake him away.

Ginzaekh and his two friends Zash and Gazi are hunting to procure venison for his mother's butchery, He becomes stuck in midchase and left behind, stumbling upon thecrystal but only seeing the flash it emits and not the crystal itself. Zash and Gazi find him. Since his eyesight is better, they continue hunting.
Zarakharn interrogates Daktarashand kills him in a fit of rage upon learning it was lost and destroyed. (Zarakharn knows it can't bedestroyed because his life is attachedto it and if it were destroyed he would have died instantly. This isalso the reason he doesn't age; he is immortal.) Through scrying, Zarakharn finds the crystal andleaves on a journey to get it back.
Ginzaekh and his friends are drawn back to the crystal, where they find it, attempt to ditch it, and fail,causing Ginzaekh to take it home.

Zarakharn teleports to a secret basewhere he can recuperate from using magic. This is one of many such places.
Ginzaekh has a series of dreams. A dragon named Knizor bequeaths a sword named Thugron to a dragonnamed Rishta. (The dream shows that Knizor wears the swordZarakharn procured earlier.) In the dream, it is revealed that four Kenjai are still alive, though their leader Phyandarst is dead.
Next, a dragon named Rissa isawakened by a burglar. When he and his wife confront the robber, Rissa sees him attempting to stealThugron. A fight ensues and Rissa's wife is killed. Rissa corners the robber in an alley and avenges her. He is found by a policedrake named Vazarn, who was tracking the thief.Furious that he was not able to capture his prize, Vazarn takes Rissainstead for murder. Rissa teleportsout of jail and back home, rousing his sons Nat and Ginzaekh and going on the run. When Ginzaekh wakes up the reader is informed that Rissa was the name of hisgrandfather, Nat the name of his uncle and Ginzaekh was his father's name. (The reader is supposed to beinitially confused and think the Ginzaekh in the dream is Ginzaekh the protagonist, to make the dream more dreamlike.)
Zarakharn arrives four days from leaving and finds the crystal is not where he saw it last. He stays the night in Rer and puts out a reward for its return in the morning. Beforeleaving he buys a meal fromGinzaekh's mother and meets Ginzaekh himself. He uses the alias Zahn Arrissa. Arrissa, a common name, happens to be Ginzaekh'ssurname. There is a conversation where it is revealed that Zahn Arrissa was acquainted with Rissaand Ginzaekh's father and that they died in a smithing accident.Zarakharn leaves behind a reward poster for the crystal and promptly teleports to his base where he confers with his master, Fiandarsh. Zarakharn relates the events and it is revealed that Zarakharn wasenemies with Rissa and Ginzaekh.Fiandarsh instructs him to keep aneye on them. He also chides Zarakharn for losing the crystal (and making it in the first place) and vows not to help him if he goes the wrongway about getting it back. (It is revealed here that the crystal makes Zarakharn immortal and being the reason he doesn't age and such.)Zarakharn needs to get the crystal problem out of the way so he cancontinue his search for the Elder Swords. (Thugron and the sword Zarakharn are both Elder Swords. Zarakharn has them and one other. There are five Elder Swords total.The Kenjai seek them for the power they hold.)
Ginzaekh tells Gazi and Zash about the reward and they plan to leave the next day.
Ginzaekh has a dream that Rissa and Ginzaekh die protecting Thugron from Zahn Arrissa, who is called Jai Azarion in the dream. Vazarn killshimself for not apprehending Rissa. Ginzaekh, restless from the nightmare, feels compelled to copy a symbol he saw on Zahn Arrissa'shand. (This symbol is described withZarakharn's appearance in the first chapter.) Not knowing why he drew it, he goes back to sleep. The ink soaks into his scales.
Ginzaekh has another dream where Knizor (whose voice has beenpresent in his other dreams) appears in spirit, speaking with Phyandarst, also a spirit. (Phyandarst'sdescription matches Fiandarsh's.) Knizor informs him that the Rishnaran (the omnipotent writer the Khrizans believe controls history) has given a prophecy to him that Phyandarst's apprentice will die by the hand of one who bears the mark of the Dhurma-Natar, the order founded by the four remaining Kenjai. (At this point Zarakharn is the only living member. He is not anoriginal member as the order was founded long ago before he was born and none of the original membersare left. Zarakharn is also the lastliving Kenjai.) Knizor informs Phyandarst that his apprentice has made a life crystal to thwart the prophecy. Phyandarst expressesjealousy that Knizor is able to speak directly with the Rishnaran, but insists the Rishnaran is really on his side despite choosing Knizor tospeak for him. Knizor reveals that Phyandarst is doomed bypredestiny, something Phyandarsthas already been told by Knizor many times. It is also revealed that the two are brothers.)
The next day, Ginzaekh and his friends leave. Zarakharn scrys him and finds out that he has the crystal and drew the symbol on his hand. Zarakharn becomes afraid,remembering a prophecy of hisdeath. His worst fears are confirmed when he discovers the trio is flying away from Khriza (the capitol) and not toward it. He takes this information to Phyandarst and the council of the Dhurma-Natar, which now number some twenty deceased members. Phyandarst reminds the council that Zarakharn must correcthis own errors due to his vow, and the council charges Zarakharn with killing Ginzaekh and his friends lest the Kenjai are undone. (The wisdom of Phyandarst's vow is questioned, but Phyandarst insists on standingby it.)

Ginzaekh realizes their map is bad and they were flying the wrong way. They stay at an inn, where theyrealize they need to keep the crystal secret lest they are attacked androbbed, as the reward's news has spread rapidly. A drake named Vizagar catches on and bribes the innkeeper for information, who refuses to disclose more than theroom they are staying in. The innkeeper, Tegar, warns the trio, but they are suspicious of him, especially when he tells them to destroy the crystal.
While they sleep, Vizagar attempts to sneak into their room, but Tegar throws him out. In the morning,Tegar warns the three that they were almost robbed and to protect the crystal more carefully.

Rather than going back home to start their journey over, they visit Ginzaekh's uncle Nat. Nat has astrange sign tacked to his door: the word brewer. The trio meet Ginzaekh's cousin Dav, who iswriting a book on daktars, a legendary creature nicknamed Smallfoot. Dav claims he saw one as a child and was fascinated with them ever since. Ginzaekh asks Nat about the sign, to which Nat responds byserving a brewed drink. They showNat the crystal, to which he responds by throwing it at the wall. They are all amazed when it makes a shattering noise but remains intact. Perplexed and angry at his uncle's behavior, Ginzaekh begins to askhim why he did it. Nat avoids the question somewhat and it seems he was possessed by an unknown urge.He then asks if he can go with them,as the journey will be dangerous with everyone out for the crystal, and an adult chaperone would be helpful. Still smarting from Nat's unexplained outburst, Ginzaekh flatly declines. However, when Dav apologizes for his father's behavior and asks to come along, he joins thegroup.
Zarakharn acts Ginzaekh and it is revealed that Nat is another of Zarakharn's enemies; like Rissa and Ginzaekh, Nat is a Shuziron: amember of the ancient order that protected the Elder Swords. Thisonly heightens Zarakharn's suspicions. Zarakharn is frustrated he cannot travel faster and is forced to wait between teleports. Heconsults the Khagra (which is likethe Khrizan bible) for magical advice. (There is no reference to Shuzirons, Kenjai, the swords, or magic in the Khagra Khrizans use; Zarakharn's Khagra is a copy of the original, unaltered Khagra, before the Rishnaran made the world forget magic was real and future editions of the Khagra had it edited out.) Zarakharn only learns what he already knows. He has a nagging sense the answer to his problem is something obvious. (When it isrevealed, the reader will be kicking themselves along with Zarakharn. Zarakharn forgets that magic does not drain the body itself, only the azra, which is the source of magic,and so nothing is preventing Zarakharn from flying between teleports and covering twice as much ground. He has become overly reliant on magic, so he has forgotten this. It is also interference from the Rishnaran.)
Ginzaekh has a strange dream where Tegar, Nat, Nat's wife Rastira and their adult son Khazardi, Knizor'sspirit, and some other dragons Ginzaekh doesn't recognize. (He meets some of them later but doesn't remember the dream by then.) Theydiscuss the safety of sending Azarion "the real one". Nat says once they have "it" (a different object) they canuse it as leverage. Tegar disagrees and says Azarion is too dangerous to live.

Zarakharn realizes the protagonists are actually heading toward Khriza and calculates that they will meet in Graktar. Zarakharn formulates a plan: separate them from Nat (who Zarakharn doesn't know isn't traveling with them), kill them and take the crystal back. To enact his plan, he'll need Sartigar.
Sartigar is assuaging his boredom from Zarakharn's absence by planking the cook, Drezard.Suddenly, Sartigar's tail goes cold, which happens when Zarakharn licks a magic black stone. Sartigar slithers into his cage, which is connected to the palace andZarakharn's hideouts as long as nobody is in the room. Zarakharnwalks into the copy of his room and retrieves Sartigar, telling him of the plan.
The four protagonists travel to an inn run by Dav's maternalgrandmother, Zakana. Zakana speaks with them in private and advises them to destroy the crystal,to Ginzaekh's frustration thateveryone they meet seems to tell them that. Zakana gives them their room key and tells Dav to stay. She gives Dav a letter from an old friend, Narta Arsetvisha. Dav had had acrush on Narta when he was twenty-two, and she didn't reciprocate his feelings. Dav was crushed when his family once again moved to anotherplace. (As mentioned by Ginzaekh when they meet Nat, Dav's family has an incurable wanderlust and areconstantly changing houses at least every three years, in edition to frequent vacationing to tour the world. This has made them savvy, multilingual, and well-connected.) Dav soon moved on, pushing Narta from his memory and falling out oflove. However, some years later herealized that she had inspired the plot of his novel. Filled with a new appreciation for her, he writes to her explaining that he is no longer infatuated with her and that sheinspired his novel, which he has almost completed after ten years' work. However, Dav didn't hear back from Narta, since Dav's familyhad moved three times since they had known each other. He also learned that she had also moved, but wasn't able to find out where, so he despaired of ever seeing her again.The letter is a response to the letter, which Narta had received but never been able to respond to. She expresses her pride in him for writing a novel. Dav is touched by the letter, and now has Narta's newaddress. Zakana also shows Dav a portrait Narta painted of her when she stayed at the inn (Narta's talent is painting.) Dav thanks his grandmother and tells Ginzaekh, Zash and Gazi about Narta.
Vizagar, having followed them, asks for a room, but Zakana is suspicious. She gives him a room key, but a mysterious hooded drake throws him out and threatens him not tohurt the protagonists. Zakana and the drake exchange knowing looks.
Ginzaekh has a dream about a dragon who is apparently has Thugron in his possession and is a friend of Rastira's. He leaves forTeradria to see it before his friends there migrate to the Drakar Mountains. Rastira expresses regret at his early leave. As his aunt's friend leaves, Ginzaekh wakes up and the group gets back on their way.
Zarakharn reviews his plan with Sartigar, revealing that the planinvolves Sartigar biting them. Sartigar is happy to oblige. Zarakharn deduces that their plan will work whether they land in Kaesivar or Graktar.
The protagonists lodge in a tavernowned by Nat's friend Narv, who ejects a troop of Vrakardians for demanding alcohol, an insult to Khrizans as they believe alcoholic drink to be spoiled and throw it out in the gutter, except in ill-kept or seedy taverns. Dav apologizes to the Vrakardians over the cultural difference as they storm off,placating them into leaving in less of a huff. Dav procures a room and they enter it. Vizagar follows, tricking the protagonists into leaving him alone in their room by claiming Narv asked for them. Narv and the protagonists rush to the room,narrowly stopping the thief, who flees out the window. Ginzaekhresolves to wear the crystal on his person at all times, hidden in a bag at his waist. The protagonists regret not getting a good look at the thief even though they spoke with him for a moment before the theft.
Vizagar nearly makes it out of the city limits when another hooded drake or the same drake wearing a different hoodattacks him, looking for the crystal. Vizagar insists he doesn't have it, and a search reveals his truthfulness. The drake tells him to stay away from the crystal or else and sends him scampering off.

The four protagonists land in Graktar and catch wind of a band of musicians in town. They decide toattend the concert.
Zarakharn scrys them and teleports to Graktar. He gets directions to the concert from a disgruntled veteran who bears a grudge against Zarakharn but doesn't recognize himas they've never met.
Dav, who knows the musicianspersonally, gets the backstage beforethe performance. One of their members is absent, traveling withanother group, and the band plans to perform without her. However, at Ginzaekh's and Zash's recommendation, Gazi sings for them and they ask her to join them in the performance.
At the concert, Ginzaekh, Zash and Dav meet the veteran, who cursesZarakharn after learning they are going to meet with him, and warns against it. However, he does notseem to know about the crystal. When he leaves, Ginzaekh berates Dav for letting their destination slip.
During the concert, Zarakharn, and Sartigar, hidden, watch the group closely. Realizing his hood drawsattention, Zarakharn removes it, noting that a dragon in the audience (Vizagar) is looking around nervously for hoods, which brings Zarakharn's attention to a drake in a blue hood.

While walking to the inn, the groupencounters Sartigar, who bites Zash, allowing Zarakharn to steal the crystal in the confusion and run off before he is spotted.The blue-hooded drake intervenes, throwing Sartigar out of sight and administers suspiciously fast-acting antivenom that tastes like sugar water. He tells them to let him take them to Khriza, but Ginzaekh refuses due to suspicion and the fact that Zash isstill wounded despite no longer seeming to be poisoned. The drake offers to take them to a hospital, but first asks where the crystal is and helps Ginzaekh look for it while Gazi and Dav take Zash to the hospital.Zarakharn finds Sartigar and teleports away but the crystal does not travel with him, and Ginzaekhfinds it again. Zarakharn is angry about this newly discovered limitation: he can't teleport with the crystal.
The doctor, Har Arsaks, is a friend of Dav's and is amazed at Zash's recovery. The hooded drake introduces himself as Assirratan, anname that sounds made up, but Har seems to recognize him. Assirratan insists they stay at the hospital instead of the nearby inn. Ginzaekhprotests but relents for seemingly no reason.

Vizagar, snooping outside the inn he believes the group to be in, runs Zarakharn and tells him about the crystal. Zarakharn thanks him by killing him and entering the inn, where he is arrested.
Ginzaekh wonders why he agreed to stay, and Dav reckons the drake felt trustworthy, the way he would trust his father or someone like that. They decide against sneaking out in the middle of the night and leavingearly.
Zarakharn is inspected by a policedrake at the station namedDrazarkhi, who warns that he'll have to escape "the same way other dragons do," and drugs him. When Zarakharn loses consciousness, Drazarkhi leaves his post, allowing the usual officer to take his place, as his position was only temporary. He and Assirratan walk off together.
Ginzaekh has a dream about the hooded drake and his interferences with Vizagar, and the drake lifts his hood. Before his face is revealed, however, Ginzaekh wakes up and the group leaves the hospital.

The four protagonists fly to Kaesivar. Zarakharn wakes up withno memory of Drazarkhi. He is perplexed because he has lost the ability to do magic. He realizes from the syringe mark (I looked up ancient injection methods and found one could make a syringe with a bladder and a quill for the needle)that someone knows he can use magic. He discovers from kicking his bed in frustration that a nail is loose. He wriggles it out and uses it to pick the lock. He acquires a policedrakedisguise and runs into anotherpolicedrake who takes him to the place where his confiscated items are being kept. It is implied that the drake is helping him knowingly, instead of being fooled by Zarakharn's disguise. Zarakharn attempts to take his items out with him when he ends his "shift", but is prohibited from doing so. Zarakharn attacks the guards and makes abreak for it. A chase ensues in the air, with Zarakharn uttering the spell to return him to his hideoutuntil his magic returns.
After flying for a couple hours, Zarakharn decides to teleport to Kaesivar instead of his base since he's halfway there already. However,his magic still hasn't returned. He is shot down by an arrow. Gauging his magical energy, he uses what little he has to knock the policedrakesunconscious, but instead the policedrakes are simply weakened. That is enough, however, to buy him time to put more distance betweenhis pursuers and himself.
Using a generic alias, Ginzaekh boards at the first inn they come to. It begins to snow, prompting the characters to comment on thepeculiarity and for Dav to confess his hatred of snow. The innkeeper tells a story about Zarakharn to pass the time. The story is absurd and satirical and they all laugh about it.
Meanwhile, Zarakharn manages to make it to Kaesivar and trudgethrough the snow (wondering what they snow is doing there in the first place and grateful that it's notsnowing at the moment) to arrive at a different inn where he collapses on his bed, collects himself, andformulates another plan. Once he has the magical and physical strength, he will retrieve Sartigar from his hideout and teleport toAzirhk (the next place where Ginzaekh's group will stop) and order the police to secure the area. Let anybody in, but screen any outgoing dragons carefully. If there is a group of four, three males and a female, search them for a mark like on his hand and detain them if they have it. Zarakharn carries out this plan in the morning.

Dav is excited because Narta's new address is in Azirhk. When they arrive, they see policedrakes flying over it. The group is nervous but lands. They stop for a meal and Davasks about Narta. It turns out Narta is in the back room of the diner,painting her meal. She and Dav talk about their lives since they last saw each other; among other notable events, Dav can speak Drakish now and Narta is dating a semi-famous songwriter (Dav hasn't heard of him,but Gazi has.) Dav confides in Narta how woven their meeting seems; if Ginzaekh hadn't taken a wrong turn,he wouldn't have visited his grandmother and received Narta's letter, and found out where she lived. Narta replies that that's howthe Rishnaran works and that she's glad of it. Their conversation is cut short when Ginzaekh and they have to leave, but they arrange to meettomorrow before they leave.
Zarakharn stays at the Azirhkan governor's mansion and sends Sartigar on a reconnaissance mission, using a spell to see through his eyes. Sartigar encountersAssirratan and Drazarkhi. Zarakharn doesn't recognize Assirratan or remember Drazarkhi,but it becomes clear that they are Shuzirons. Zarakharn teleports to them and orders a policedrake toarrest them. The drake attempts to do so by shouting at them to halt, causing them to dart into an ally and vanish. Zarakharn berates the officer and orders a warrant for their arrest.
The protagonists meet with Narta for breakfast and the others get toknow her better. Ginzaekh insists on keeping their schedule, so they have to leave. As they are walking out of Azirhk (it's illegal to fly in urbanlimits), Dav convinces Ginzaekh to let Narta accompany them to turn in the crystal. Dav runs to ask her tojoin them, but her father says no. However, Dav's absence and the factthat the mark has faded from Ginzaekh's hand cause them to slip through Zarakharn's screening criteria. Dav goes through screening separately. Assirratan and Drazarkhi are observing the screening from ahiding place.
Zarakharn fires the incompetentofficers upon learning of the mess-up and teleports to the police station in the forest between Azirhk andSharnadda. He asks the area to be secured: no campers land in the forest. Rather than trust the taskcompletely to the authorities,Zarakharn flies and creates a magical perimeter to alert him totheir location when they cross it. Zarakharn also finds out through scrying that they have a tent, which he assumes to be a fortress in the shape of a tent in his paranoia, when it is in fact just a four-dragon tent enchanted to hold five. (The protagonists don't know it's enchanted, but Dav's family iscomprised of five people, so he knows it can hold them.) When they land and camp that night, Zarakharn tracks them. However, the police show up and arrest Zarakharn andthe protagonists alike. The police officer in charge of the posse silencesZarakharn by sneaking a magic word into his speech, so Zarakharn can't utter spells. Zarakharn is stunnedthe officer knows magic. He can't see the officer's face in the dark, so he doesn't recognize him as a Shuzironhe's seen before.
While they are detained, Zarakharn's speech returns and he confronts the protagonists in their cell room. He soon learns they have no idea what he's talking about and that Ginzaekh doesn't have the mark. Zarakharn realizes anyone could destroy himjust by drawing the mark rather than having it magically tattooed. In theprocess he reveals he wants to kill them and take the crystal. He talks about his enemies and magic, whichthey don't understand or believe, and they don't believe him when he says he is Zarakharn. Zarakharn is abruptly incapacitated by Khazardi Arrissa (Drazarkhi.) Dav is amazed to see his older brother, who tellsthem to sleep and transfers Zarakharn to a specially prepared cell.

The cell is guarded by "Captain Rissa", who is actually Nat. They swap out the crystal for a fake and keep the real one in Khazardi's safe in his room.
Ginzaekh, feeling cold, is visited by a voice. Ginzaekh asks if it is Knizor, to which the voice responds yes. "Knizor" tells him to trust no one,explaining the difference in his voice to be caused by the distortion ofdreams. When Ginzaekh agrees, he feels warm, which appears to be a sign he made the right decision but is due to the fact that the spirit left the room.
In the morning, Khazardi tells them not to go to Khriza and thatZarakharn is trying to kill them. They don't believe him, especially when he adds that he and Dav's parents are part of a secret orderand that the crystal makes Zarakharn immortal. Khazardi references the prophecy, but themodern Khagra falsely claims that the Rishnaran no longer makes prophecies. Suddenly, "Knizor" begins to whisper to Ginzaekh, sowing distrust and reminding Ginzaekh that if Zahn Arrissa is really Zarakharn, he is imprisoned and therefore cannot harm them in Khriza. Khazardi attempts to do magic but inexplicably cannot. They lose trust in him and he arranges for their release so they can go toKhriza.
As they get their things in order,Khazardi introduces them toAssirratan, who reveals himself to be Nat. (Assirratan is Nat Arrissabackwards, which is why it sounded made up.) To Ginzaekh's ire, they insist on accompanying them toKhriza. Gazi talks with him in private and points out that though Knizor is benevolent in his dreams, the "real" Knizor said his dreams weren't real, and Ginzaekh doesn'thate his uncle or cousin, so he shouldn't be so cold and distrustful.

They stop in Razaga, where Kharda is in power, and avoid paying "tribute" to one of his thugs when Nat uses magic words to make him think they pay him. Ginzaekhrealizes that's why they agreed to stay at the hospital: because Nat told to them using magic words, whichmade them trust him. Ginzaekh's suspicion grows and he begins to wonder if there is truth to what he has been told about magic existing.
They enter a bar, but a pickpocket accuse reveals the crystal, causing the whole tavern to pursue them. They manage to teleport into the forest with the crystal (which they wouldn't have been able to do withthe real one, but they don't know that) and make camp, away from the mob.

Zarakharn is awakened by Fiandarsh, who reveals the Rishnaran ordered him to break his promise (and prevented Khazardifrom doing magic earlier.) Zarakharn assumes he's been drugged again and waits for it towear off.
Nat makes some modifications to the tent, turning it invisible andmaking it bigger on the inside. Taking Ginzaekh aside, Nat surreptitiously repairs a scratch on the false crystal before Ginzaekh notices.
Zarakharn realizes the cell itself has been enchanted, not that he has been drugged. He finds that he is only prevented from using magicthat directly relates to escape (such as opening the door) so he conjures useless and counterproductive objects to orchestrate his escape.After escaping, Zarakharn looks for Sartigar.
Dav finishes his book and the protagonists celebrate.
Zarakharn accidentally steps on Sartigar, piercing him with a claw.He can't heal him fully because his azra is drained from escaping.It is revealed that Sartigar wants to use the Elder Swords to become a dragon.

An officer named Zahn, who is the usual drake holding Drazarkhi'sposition, returns to take over for him again. He finds the police investigating the escape and findsthe actual crystal in Drazarkhi's room.
Zarakharn visits Kharda, who unsuccessfully tries to introduce him to an erotic drug, hoping to "cure"Zarakharn's lack of interest in marrying and siring an heir. Kharda himself is irreversibly addicted and overdosing in order to counter his bodily deterioration, having dealt inand used the drug for decades.

Zarakharn leaves Kharda's and reaches the palace before theprotagonists can arrive.
In Khriza, the protagonists go sightseeing. Ginzaekh wants to turn in the crystal immediately. They visita statue of Khriza, the emperor forwhom the city, the land of Khriza and the Khrizan species are named, and Ginzaekh sees he resembles Knizor. Nat says that Khriza's name in his own language was Knizor. Ginzaekh asks if Rishta means Rissa, as in their arfather (the person theytake their family name, Arrissa, from.) Rissa being a common name, Ginzaekh knows the Rishta in his dreams was probably not his arfather, but he does wonder if it's a possibility. However, he insists they stop sightseeing and return the crystal; they can go sightseeing afterward. Nat reluctantly relents and gives Khazardi a magic tooth to communicate. (The tooth functions like an earpiece.) Nat draws the symbol on their hands and they go into the palace, leaving Khazardi in the city.
Zahn's station is visited by a facility inspector named Zakar who arrives just as Zahn uses his leave to take the crystal to Khriza. Zakar, who is actually there to relocate the crystal, uses his own tooth to notify Khazardi of the disappearance.
Nat takes the group to meet with Zarakharn, who appears as an old drake. From his tooth, Khazardi tells Nat about the real crystal missing, but Nat can't doin anything about it, so he discreetly severs the communication. Zarakharn takes the crystal out of the room and Ginzaekh confronts Nat for his paranoia. Nat reveals that if he is paranoid, it's because he'd been running his whole childhood from a drake who wanted to arrest his father for murder. Ginzaekh realizes his dreams are real and he apologizes to Nat. They tries to leave, but find the door locked. Zarakharn appears in the room, still looking old, but dropping the charade. Sartigar attempts to sneak up on Nat, who turns around and kills him. Zarakharn, devastated, goes straight into revenge mode and cuts down Dav. Nat attempts to heal Dav before he dies, but Zarakharn reveals that the blade is an Uthgal blade-- a dark implement invented by Jai Uthgal of the Dhurma-Natar that corrupts any attempts at magical healing. Any magical energy fed to the wound makes it worse, so the wound must heal naturally. Dav dies, being wounded fatally. Zarakharn gloats over Nat's pain and Nat attempts to stab him with a small rod. Zarakharn reveals that he enchanted the castle to wipe any ink from the scales of any who enter it, so the mark they need to kill him is not on their hands, and at any rate, the crystal is not in the room. Nat reveals that he did not attack Zarakharn to kill him, but to incapacitate him, and reveals that the rod is a wand, and that it absorbed all Zarakharn's magical energy when it made contact with him. Nat uses the energy to bind Zarakharn hand and foot and unlock the door. Nat leaves Zash to watch Zarakharn and takes Ginzaekh and Gazi to find the crystal. Nat uses an illusion to distract the vault guards and takes the crystal from it. Rushing back to the throne room, they find Zarakharn has escaped his bonds (a trick he learned from binding himself earlier to escape imprisonment) and bound Zash, holding him hostage. Nat threatens to destroy the crystal, but Zarakharn calls his bluff-- he doesn't know how. Nat keeps to himself the fact that the crystal is fake, though he knows the real one is missing. He agrees to hand over the crystal in exchange for Zash. However, Zarakharn reveals to Ginzaekh (who already knows from his dreams) that he killed his father and grandfather. Ginzaekh is goaded into attacking Zarakharn, at which point Zarakharn calls the guards on them and they are thrown in the dungeon, separately.

Zakar arrives in Khriza and he and Khazardi infiltrate the palace. Zakar looks for the crystal and Khazardi looks for the prisoners.
Zarakharn uses Nat's draining wand against him and confiscates his wand belt. Zarakharn takes out the crystal, gloating. Nat can't reach it from behind the bars. Zarakharn informs him that they will all be executed presently.
Zahn, the policedrake who found the crystal, runs into Zakar, who confronts him about where he got it. Zahn confesses he stole it from Drazarkhi's room. Zakar reprimands him, but admits he can't blame him for wanting to get the reward. He tells Zahn to leave, promising to notify Zarakharn of Zahn's efforts, and Zahn leaves, influenced by magic words. Zakar rushes the crystal to the dungeon.

Khazardi releases Ginzaekh, learns about Dav's death, and finds and frees Gazi and Zash as well. On their way to find Nat, they are meet Zakar, who has the real crystal. The group find Nat, who warns them that Zarakharn has ordered their execution and gone on his way to gloat to the others. Khazardi realizes that by releasing the others, he has alerted Zarakharn to his presence. Zarakharn cuts them off and reveals he hid when he noticed Khazardi approach, in order to trap them. He draws Thugron, giving him immense strength, and begins to attack them. Khazardi draws Aciphar, one of the Elder Swords Nat had been safeguarding, giving him and engages him. The duel comes to a draw when Khazardi manages to erect a forcefield between Zarakharn and the protagonists. Nat takes the others and runs. Zarakharn tries to cut the shield, but is unable. Zakar takes both crystals from Khazardi and runs. Khazardi, aided by Aciphar's strength, holds the shield. Zarakharn then takes Nat's wand and uses it to drain the shield. This doesn't work as Aciphar is aiding Khazardi. Zarakharn stops and uses the energy he drained to boost his power and teleports to the other side of the shield. He kills Khazardi and takes Aciphar, rushing to find the rest of his enemies.

Nat tells Ginzaekh about the two crystals and the prophecy. Ginzaekh has an idea. He takes the two crystals and runs to face Zarakharn. Ginzaekh offers Zarakharn both crystals in return for the lives of his friends. Zarakharn accepts, putting Aciphar and Thugron aside as part of the bargain, fully intending to renege on his promise the moment he has the crystals. Ginzaekh reminds him that one of the crystals is fake, so he can't destroy either of them. However, Zarakharn knows that the real crystal won't shatter. Zarakharn dashes both crystals to the ground. To his amazement both the false crystal and the real crystal both shatter. Light begins to emanate from the real crystal and Zarakharn looks at the mark on his hand, realizing what Ginzaekh figured out-- the prophecy meant that he could destroy himself. Zarakharn tries to attack Ginzaekh, but he runs and Nat rushes to his defense. Zarakharn doesn't have much time to fight, though, because his body begins to burn up. When Zarakharn has vanished completely in a blinding inferno, only the false crystal remains, lying shattered on the ground, next to the imperial cape and Zarakharn's silver helmet. Nat takes the helmet for safekeeping and they leave the cape on the floor of the dungeon.

Zakar informs the guards that Zarakharn has vanished (I need to come up with a way for them to not be blamed for the disappearance or at the least be held in prison or executed as were Zarakharn's original orders.) They bury Dav on the palace grounds and travel to an inn.
In the inn, Nat explains everything. Long ago, there was an ancient order called the Shuzirons, who protected the Elder Swords. The Rivanaran (known as the Riphalaron in Khrizan Dragonese), which the modern Khrizans know to be a prophetic position, was the leader of this forgotten order as well as the conveyor of the Risharan's prophecies. Khriza was the last Rivanaran; his brother Fiandarsh, jealous of his brother's connection to the Rishnaran, sought to become the Rivanaran, seeking the Elder Swords to achieve his purpose and founding a rival wizarding order of those who would have the Swords' power-- the Kenjai. A great war ensued between the two. The Kenjai were wiped out and Fiandarsh was killed. The Shuzirons went into hiding, numbers reduced. Four Kenjai survived the last battle, and Fiandarsh, now a spirit, christened them the Dhurma-Natar, the ones who would seek revenge against the Shuzirons. The Dhurma-Natar trained apprentices, who became Kenjai; when the members of the Dhurma-Natar died, their apprentices took their places. Not all Kenjai joined the Dhurma-Natar, since there could only be four at one time. Zarakharn was the last Kenjai and member of the Dhurma-Natar. Because Zarakharn was the only Dhurma-Natar, he thought he was safe from the prophecy, but created the life crystal anyway, thinking to rule as emperor forever without handing down the throne. Ginzaekh's father and Rissa were Shuzirons who were tasked with protecting Thugron, a duty that had been passed down from their arfather Rissa-- or Rishta, as he was known in his own time. Khriza had tasked Rissa specifically to protect Thugron, and Rissa passed it down through the generations, all the way to one who would take his name-- Ginzaekh's grandfather.

In the aftermath of Zarakharn's death, Kharda is assassinated by a slave with the help of his right hand drake, Vidzit. Razaga is freed from his corruptive influence as Vidzit seeks a new life in the criminal underworld. Dav's novel is published posthumously. Zarakharn's cousin and successor (by default) is found, an old drake named Shrakhaan with a son ready to assume the throne when his brief reign ends. Shrakhaan proves to be a wise and good leader. Nat's family takes Khazardi's family in and moves to Rer to live with Ginzaekh. Ginzaekh, Zash, and Gazi go hunting as before. When Ginzaekh falls asleep that night, he has a dream that Knizor and Nat are discussing the true nature of his dreams, and why he has them. Nat tells Knizor that Ginzaekh is not ready to be burdened with the knowledge, and Ginzaekh drifts into a deeper, dreamless sleep, and forgets it.

 

My question was why you need cities, buildings, etc.

 

You did read the synopsis, right?

 

You realize how obscenely long your synopsis is, right?

In case you aren't actually understanding the question, she's asking why you're dragons have homes, communities, tools, pastimes, etc., that are exactly akin to humans'?

This part is all me:

Why would dragons need these things?

If dragons evolved into sentient and sapient creatures, they would evolve DIFFERENTLY from humans to meet their own particular needs

One of the reasons your dragons feel like humans in dragon skins is because you basically have them acting & living identically to people, only somehow they are dragons. And thats what feels off. Even if dragons in their evolution gained humanoid bodies, their needs & concerns would be different from humans–who are naturally fragile creatures so whose innovations & inventions all served needs of our fragility. The sorts of innovations & tools & communities in your world/story should reflect the very specific needs of dragons throughout their evolution process

Right now it just seems like you're tossing dragons in human civilization & situations, and it comes off strange

 

It's quite long, and mostly plot-related. And the fact that a scene happens in a room doesn't mean that that scene has to happen in a room. It's why something has to happen in a room, a building, a tavern, a city, that I'm asking. Not why it does happen there, but why it needs to.

If you're not willing to answer the question, that's fine.

 

Soda is a fairly recent invention, or at least when referring to carbonation which is the basis of soda. I'm confused about the "ale" reference if they're drinking flavored water, would that imply they would drink fresh ale? Ale is alcohol as well. Also, cider and tea would be some of the only other flavored liquids available instead of plain water, or at least in older time periods, unless these cultures have developed other drinks without also having more modernized conventions. Lastly, beer and ale are typically not aged for more than a month or two, it isn't like wine, which develops additional flavors and strength with age. Ale and beer typically goes flat and stale within a handful of days if it's from a cask and not bottled. It will last longer untapped, but once that tap is put in, it's time to start guzzling. Bottling it will lengthen it's lifespan, but I'm not sure how advanced these cultures are exactly, bottling in our world history was done a little over four hundred years ago. It was some time after that it became more popular though, maybe a couple hundred years later?

If the one culture won't drink alcohol, then this would be for religious reasons, not because they just thought it unseemly. Hardly anyone ever has decided "I shouldn't drink alcohol because it makes people act like 'X'" without having a secondary, more pressing reason not to. Usually this is because religion says not to, and therefore they turn their nose to it publicly, while being a closet alcoholic on the side. Some may not drink much because it's just not a huge thing to them, but they'd still have the occasional beer or wine at a dinner or something. Not all religion banishes alcohol either, Catholicism practically invented our modern beer, it was the monks who discovered it would ferment best in a slightly cooler environment, completely by mistake, though, I might add.

A tavern would not necessarily have rooms for rent, seeing as how it was more like what we would call a bar, though not exactly. Some did, others didn't. An inn would always have rooms for rent, but would also have all the drinks and food that a tavern would provide. The primary difference, though, would be that one is more upscale. In most fantasy settings, a tavern invokes a more rough crowd than an inn. Though this is not the case in real life, it still has collected that connotation to the establishments in fantasy novels. Not sure why, or maybe that's just me....

 

That's been a long standing issue with his novel, and there's been a lot of criticism over it. It really does feel like it's dragons living as humans, but he seems dead set on the idea. I suggested catacombs, and possibly even a levitating island or something interesting they could fly to that anything other than dragons would have trouble reaching. There's a lot that could be done instead, but I think it's a case of "writing what you know". Imagination is often hampered by writing things one is familiar with.

I wouldn't hold my breath for an answer on that. I think many aspiring writers forget to ask themselves "why" something is happening. We forget that simply writing for the sake of getting words on the paper is not enough. The story has to advance, the plot has to thicken, albeit slowly, and the characters have to grow. I think having things happen in taverns, when it comes to fantasy, often becomes a trap. We love the idea of taverns, but forget that not everything has to take place in one, or that we even need to step inside a tavern...or even what a tavern is. It has to have a place in the story, not just doing it because you want your characters to be in that setting. I think it may have something to do with LotR though...damn you, Aragorn...damn you. haha

 

It does sound like they're humans with scales and that they will not be permitted to differ from humans in any significant way.

 

Well, it seems I've gotten myself into a right mess here...